Panini had a mad crush on Chowder for what seemed like her entire life. She had fallen head-over-heels in love with him ever since the day they met. Chowder, however, did not reciprocate her inordinate feelings. He was terrified of the pink bunny/cat girl who incessantly stalked, harassed, hit on, and attempted to court him every chance she got. At first, he was wary of her, being a boy still believing in the idea that girls were icky and infested with cooties. But as time went on, Chowder's fears grew from a petty fright into a genuine terror as Panini became more and more obsessed with the two of them being together "forever and ever," as she put it.
They had both tried to get their differing points of view across to one another in a variety of different ways. Chowder, for example, had given every sign possible that he was not (nor would he ever be) Panini's boyfriend. He gave her bad presents, told her over and over again that he didn't love her, wrote an entire musical number meant to slander her in front of dozens, and even went so far as trying to fake his death to get her to leave him alone. Alas, Panini either saw through his tricks or was undaunted by his attempts to dishearten her and continued her pursuit of a lifetime of romance with Chowder. She, by contrast, had done just about everything she could think of to get Chowder to be with her. Panini brought him copious amounts of food (which was probably the only thing he liked about her), as she was a chef's apprentice much like Chowder, though far more talented in the kitchen than him. She had also gone to more extreme measures to have Chowder to herself. She once tried to run for president so she could then pass laws that would allow her to legally own Chowder. She had also taken advantage of his naivety and simple-mindedness to convince him that a piece of fruit was a baby they needed to raise together. She also constantly kissed or hugged him without his consent, forcefully held his hand in public, and declared them to be a couple to everyone she came across. But Chowder always stuck firm with his answer of no, and likewise, Panini never took his answer of 'no' as an acceptable one. She would have Chowder, one way or another, no matter the cost.
And today was no exception.
Chowder sprinted for his life, fleeing from his wannabe future wife as per usual. She called after him, "Wait up, Num Nums!". She uncapped a tube of lipstick and applied it to her face. "I have a new flavor of lipstick I want to try on you!" Chowder only shrieked in response, running as fast as his overweight frame would carry him. They were both just 10 years old, though Panini was comparatively in much better shape than him and was able to catch up to him almost instantly. She snagged him by the tail and forced him to look at her. "Pucker up," she said, her eyes holding an almost predatory gaze before she closed them and extended her neck for a kiss. But Chowder instead broke free from her grasp. "I'm not your boyfriend!", he said before scurrying away like a frightened squirrel. Chowder ran through a series of stands, each manned by a vendor selling various unique products or services. Chowder paid no mind to them and hurried through the aisles, not stopping until he was out of breath and could run no further. "Somebody hide me! There's a psycho after me!" He said this to nobody in particular, and none seemed to heed his cries for help. All except one.
"You can hide in my hair." A female voice spoke from in front of him. Chowder looked up to see a girl — another girl, not Panini. She was pudgy with rounded features like his own but had light green skin, a pig-like nose, a light blue dress, and atop her head was a gigantic thing of hot pink hair complete with a blue bow accessory. Chowder's enthrallment with the green pig/frog girl was shattered abruptly as he heard the familiar voice of Panini from several aisles out of view. "Num Nums, where are you? Don't hide from your future wife and mother of your twelve babies." He gave himself no time to think as he climbed on her shoulders, reached her head, and then concealed himself inside her abundance of hair like a soldier hiding in camouflage. A single eye peeked out from behind her bow as he saw the pink cat/bunny girl run past him without even noticing. Once she was out of both sight and earshot, Chowder climbed back out, ready to thank his rescuer.
"Thanks so much! You have no idea how bad she is. Who are you anyway?" "I'm Marmalade," the green girl answered, "and this is my beauty and makeover stand." Marmalade then proceeded to give Chowder quite the beauty treatment, trying out various types of makeup, perfumes, and lotions on him before finally deciding which one was just right for him. When she was finished, he looked awestruck at his newly manicured face. "Wow, I look like a goddess!" He then licked a portion of the makeup off his face, and it tasted like some of the most flavorful fruit he'd ever had. "And it tastes amazing!" "If you like that one then try the kind I'm wearing," Marmalade implored. Chowder obliged and started licking Marmalade's cheek with his long tentacle-like tongue, which sent her into a laughing fit as it tickled her face. Right at that moment, Panini spotted her intended target. But what was this? Chowder? With another girl? This was unacceptable!
She grabbed Chowder and pulled him away from Marmalade. "Oh, there you are, Num Nums! What's going on here? It almost looked like you found a new..girlfriend". She growled the last word, her voice seething with venomous envy. "Oh, this is Marmalade. I just met her here," Chowder replied as he returned to her side and away from Panini. "Chowder, you get back over here right this second," she commanded with a voice that spoke of barely restrained fury. "No, I don't wanna." "Chowder, do not make me.."
Panini was cut off as a soft, monotone voice called her name from behind. "Panini Panini, I wrote you this romantic poem." The voice belonged to none other than Ceviche. In a real twist of irony, Panini herself also had someone of the opposite gender vying for her affection. That someone was Ceviche. The small yellow goat boy had been attracted to Panini since he first laid eyes on her, but she was much too busy chasing after Chowder to notice him. He would sometimes help her in her plans to woo her target, but that was about the extent of their relationship. Still, he was persistent, but not to the same borderline psychotic and obsessive degree as Panini.
"Ceviche I told you..", Panini was cut off in the middle of telling Ceviche off yet again when another interruption came from behind the first. It was a large, rounded figure garbed entirely in what could only be described as kitchen supplies. Various pots and pans adorned his body in the semblance of a knight's armor, complete with a large drain bowl for a helmet and a gigantic fork in one of his mitten-adorned hands. "Ahoy, ye utensil fans! I come bearing great news! The Utensil Fair is in town today, and today only!" The man removed his helmet, revealing him to be Gazpacho.
Gazpacho had always been something of an uncle-type figure in Chowder's life. The fat woolly mammoth-like creature owned the best fruit stand in all of Marzipan City, and Chowder would often be sent to it by Mung to collect something for a dish, or he would just come to get a mid-day snack. This year, Gazpacho would be hosting the utensil jousting arena of the fair, where gladiators would come to battle each other using giant utensils for the entertainment of thousands. Gazpacho had come to invite Chowder to the fair, and both Chowder and his newfound companion were all too excited to go. Chowder and Marmalade left with Gazpacho to the fair, leaving Panini and Ceviche at Marmalade's prematurely closed stand. Ceviche was still attempting to woo her with his poem when she grabbed his lips to silence him. "No time for that now, Ceviche. Chowder is getting away." "What does he have that I don't? Why do you love him and not me?" Panini considered simply rebuking Ceviche yet again when another thought came to her: she could exploit his misguided affection to win back Chowder. So she decided to put her plan into motion.
Chowder and Marmalade were having an amazing time at the Utensil Fair. Unbeknownst to them, however, Panini and Ceviche were stalking them around the fair, the former growing more and more hateful and jealous of Marmalade by the second. They were having a blast in a giant spoon-shaped pool when the creeping couple approached them. "Wow, Ceviche! You are so funny and thoughtful! Way more than Chowder!" Panini said in a loud, exaggerated voice. "Really? I always knew you would come around eventually!" he replied without seeming to realize she was only pretending. Chowder immediately dove into the water to hide from Panini. "No," Panini whispered, "we're just pretending so we can make Chowder jealous." Ceviche still didn't seem to realize, or perhaps he just didn't care. "I love you so much," he replied. Chowder came back up, gasping for air, unable to remain submerged any longer. For once, Chowder seemed to catch on to Panini's tricks and decided to turn the tables on her by completely ignoring her. Just then, an announcement came over a series of speakers around the fair, announcing that the utensil jousts were about to start soon and that spectators should start making their way to the Coliseum. "You wanna go get a snack before we head to the arena?" Chowder suggested to Marmalade, to which she agreed. The two left the waters and headed towards the fair's snack bar, leaving Panini to wallow in defeat at her failed attempt to win Chowder over.
"He's ignoring me!", she sobbed into her hands. "Chowder, how could you do this to me after all I've done for you?" Alas, no one else heard her except Ceviche. "I think we need to kiss to convince them our love is real." Ceviche then grabbed hold of Panini and attempted to plant one on her lips, much to her intense displeasure. She shrieked while fleeing in terror, ironically like how Chowder usually did from her. Though, just as she always was with him, Ceviche was unaffected by this and continued pursuing her around the fair. "Wait up, my love. I have these new breath mints I want you to taste in your mouth." Panini ran until she found a gigantic rolling pin and used it to smash Ceviche, flattening him. "I think you broke my tailbone. But I still love you." "No time for that now, Ceviche. Chowder is still ignoring me," she said after spotting Chowder and Marmalade, who were both sitting at a table enjoying some food and drinks, apparently having not noticed the commotion between the pair. Panini decided she needed to get Marmalade alone to talk to her, so she had Ceviche distract Chowder and lure him away. Ceviche approached the pair and said, "Hey, Chowder. Wanna see something cool in the boy's bathroom?" "Sure. You wait here, Marmalade. I'll be right back." "Sure," she said as the boys walked away. Panini then approached and sat across from her.
"So, you must be Marmalade. The girl who thinks she can steal away my Chowder." "What are you talking about?" "Don't play dumb! I've worked too long and hard to get where I am with him, and I'm not gonna just let you waltz in here and steal away my man. Just leave the fair now, and there won't be any trouble." It was clear now that Marmalade had a dimwittedness that rivaled even Chowder's. She wasn't picking up on Panini's obvious message; her brain only seemed to register a small portion of what the pink bunny girl was saying. "I don't want to leave. I'm OVER THE SPOON about this place! And Chowder and I are having such a good time!" "Fine, then I challenge you to a utensil joust!" This statement caught the attention of almost everyone around them. "A utensil joust? I've always wanted to participate in one of those! I ACCEPT!" This resulted in applause from the people around them. "Fine. I'll see you in the ring," Panini said as she stormed away.
The seats of the Coliseum were packed with eager spectators (Chowder and Ceviche among them) as the two fighters waited on their respective sides of the arena, both clad in utensil armor, armed with giant spoons, and riding camel-like creatures. Gazpacho's voice rang through the arena via speakers as he announced the start of the competition. "Utensil fans! We gather here today to witness another glorious utensil battle! In this corner, we have jouster #1: Panini, the pink cat/rabbit thing. And in the other corner, we have jouster #2: Marmalade, the green pig/frog thing! Jousters, enter the arena!" The two jousters' mounts strolled into the arena towards each other. Panini gave Marmalade one final warning: "This is your last chance to leave the fair, Marmalade." As usual, Marmalade was too excited about the challenge to pick up on the menace in Panini's words. "I'm not going to back down. I'm JOUST getting warmed up!" She chuckled humorously at her remark, which only made Panini's blood boil hotter. "Fine, then you brought-eth this horrifying pain and agony upon thy self". "GET HER, MAR MAR!", Chowder called from his seat next to Ceviche. "WILL DO, CHOW CHOW!", she called back. "CHOW CHOW!?", Panini repeated, hardly able to believe someone could address her one true love in such a way in her presence. Her face contorted into an expression of pure rage as both combatants pulled down the flaps to their helmets.
"Ready, set, CHARGE!" Gazpacho announced, and with that, the two were off. The ring was filled with the bellicose cheers of its spectators as the two's mounts charged one another. Once they got within range, a fierce battle ensued between their riders. The skies rang with the sounds of clashing metal as the jousters warred, complimenting the thunderous roars of appraise from the spectators. Panini fought hard and admirably, yet somehow Marmalade still seemed to maintain the upper hand. Her jousting skills were impressive, and Panini soon found it hard to keep up with her. Panini still pushed forward, managing to force Marmalade onto the defensive and battering her with blow after blow. Marmalade did her best to block Panini's shots but found herself being overwhelmed by her onslaught. Just as she thought she would lose the battle, Marmalade spotted an opening in Panini's melee and took it. With a mighty clang, Panini found herself dismounted and on her back against the hard-packed earth.
"Jouster #1 is down! Jouster #2 wins!" The cheers of the crowd grew to almost deafening levels as Gazpacho and many adoring spectators stormed the arena to greet the jousters. Chowder and Ceviche were among them as they approached their respective girls. "That was awesome, Marmalade!" Chowder said while moving in to embrace her. She returned the gesture after removing her armor and discarding her weapon. "That was the most intense and exciting thing that's ever happened in my life!" she said.
Ceviche ran to Panini's side and embraced her. "It's okay, my love. Even though you lost the match, I still love you." He then leaned over and planted a long kiss on her lips. Panini was too exhausted from the fight to resist him.
Chowder then picked up on a faint scent coming from Marmalade. "Is that Thrice Cream I smell on you?" "Yeah, I love the taste of Thrice Cream. I use Thrice Cream flavored products all the time." "Thrice Cream is my favorite thing to eat of all time!" Chowder replied, enthralled. "You wanna taste it?" "Sure". With that, Marmalade pulled Chowder in and enveloped him in a passionate kiss. Normally, Chowder would have been revolted at the idea of kissing a girl, but Marmalade's breath was amazing! He couldn't help but return the kiss. Panini was still struggling against Ceviche when she saw the two interlocked with one another.
Panini had been held to a high standard by Miss Endive her whole life. She demanded absolute perfection from her apprentice, and she punished her severely whenever she made even the slightest mistake. This took an enormous toll on her psyche after some time. Then there was Ceviche, the boy who constantly hit on her every chance he got and just never seemed to let up, no matter how many times she said no. And then there was Chowder, the center of her universe. She had tried everything she could think of to make Chowder like her, not even realizing she was being exactly like Ceviche. And yet Chowder still told her no at every turn and never even understood, much less reciprocated, the love she had for him. And now there was this: some fat green pig creature who thought she could bulldoze her way between Panini and Chowder and steal him away from her, had then defeated and humiliated her in front of thousands, and was now making out with the boy she loved more than anything in the world mere inches away from her, all the while the boy she liked the least gave his unwanted shower of kisses down upon her helpless form.
And something inside her snapped.
Her fragile sanity was shattered into a thousand pieces. An unimaginable rage swelled inside her and then burst free. Panini found herself being revitalized by it, her body surging with furious energy as she instantly changed. Her fur turned black, her features feline, sharp claws grew from her digits, and her teeth became long and needle-like. Panini bit Ceviche's tongue as he was forcing it down her throat, tearing it out with a sickening crunch. Ceviche fell backward, unable to scream, as his mouth filled with blood. Panini then spat it out and leaped onto him before mauling him to death like a savage beast. The spectators began to disperse, fleeing in terror from Panini as she turned her attention to Marmalade, who was the next to suffer her wrath. Panini lunged for her and sank her claws into Marmalade's exposed gut, piercing through it before raking them in a horizontal line across it. Marmalade dropped to her knees as her guts spilled on the ground in a pool of blood around her, which she then collapsed into. Gazpacho began screaming in abject terror at the massacre unfolding before him, and that proved to be his undoing. Panini heard him and spun around, grabbing Marmalade's spoon and throwing it with tremendous force like a spear, impaling him through one of his eyes and killing him almost instantly.
Chowder stood petrified, unable to move, his brain barely even able to comprehend the carnage unfolding before him. It wasn't until Panini finally turned her murderous gaze toward him that he found himself able to move again. He sprinted for his life, faster than he ever had before when fleeing from Panini (or anytime in his entire life, for that matter). But it was no use. Panini was just too fast for him. She pounced on Chowder from behind, pinning him down with freakish strength. Chowder fought against her to no avail. Panini considered killing him for betraying her and never returning all the love she gave him, but some tiny part of her still wanted to have Chowder forever. She grabbed her spoon and bent it around Chowder's arms and legs to hog-tie him, then slung him over her shoulder like a bindle. "You'll be mine, Num Nums, one way or another," she hissed over her shoulder. She walked off with a screaming and terrified Chowder in tow towards the setting sun, cutting down anyone who got in her way.
Chowder would finally be hers. Forever.
Narration[]
