Talk:Father of an Angel/@comment-4332975-20130919012231

First of all, you didn't add categories. That's an automatic temp-ban, and I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do about that. Also that picture was needlessly huge. That aside, however, the quality of this is high enough that I'm inclined to be quite lenient.

Despite some minor errors (most of which I think I found and corrected already), this was certainly a story I do not regret reading. You do a good job of pacing things, and slowly upping the ante. The introduction of various phenomena into the game doesn't feel too realistic, but that's fine for a story like this. The way it was introduced still works, as it's gradual and progresses at a steady rate. The protagonist's reactions are believable as well, which aids the willing suspension of disbelief. While the ending doesn't come as too much of a surprise, given the buildup to it, the sting for the narrator still feels believable, and their reaction makes the ending satisfyingly bittersweet.