Talk:Pokemon Origins - 1999 - 2014/@comment-24582398-20140224113848

From a gramatical and spelling standpoint, it's high quality work. From a story standpoint, it's not, at least to me. Not only is it not creepy, it doesn't suck you in. Additionally, the dates seem... weird. Pokemon was not "getting popular" in 2010. It was already massively popular. Your usage of imagery is extremely good, and it really does make a nice image of brutality and cruelty. However, a story is not mearly the sum of it's parts in my opinion, but how those parts work together. The writing is pretty good, the descriptions are fantastic, although the dates are weird sometimes, but the story itself just fell flat for me. Additionally, I hate to be "that guy", but you do have talent, so I'd rather not see you get in trouble. So, that said, from the rules:

"14) DO NOT ADD MULTIPLE PARTS TO A STORY - It wastes space on the creepypasta list, as well as wikispace. If you can't write a story all in one sitting, then type it out in a word program, such as OpenOffice Writer or Microsoft Word, then copy and paste it to here. OpenOffice I KNOW is free to download, and offers almost all of the same benefits as a Microsoft Office package.

15) DO NOT WRITE WORKS IN PROGRESS (WIPs) - It creates confusion, wastes a reader's time, and hinders our administrative duties when these are written. There is some leniency for this rule...for now...but if you, as a writer, decides to make every creepypasta you write a work in progress, we will take action. Please refrain from using these, or if you are writing a WIP, finish it within a timely fashion or it will be deleted, half-finished pastas that sit for a year and a half are not really a good thing, and just waste space."