User blog:Refreshing Demise/The Lie - Creepypasta Review

"The Lie" Review
==="The Lie"  is a mindf*ck themed creepypasta by A Wikia Contributor, who less commonly goes by the persona of " '''A.D." ''' as the author of this story. I wish I could say more about this author, but this is the only story that he's supposedly ever posted, and it's quite interesting in many regards. ===

The first six paragraphs of "The Lie" can be intriguing, especially after the fairly typical introduction to the setting and character(s). Yet, afterwards of this point, the story loses steam in the place it's supposed to gain most. From the beginning we're supposed to become engrossed in this complete grey and dull world full of everyday tribulations and mundane activities (such as in "Just a Nightmare") - and the author does this very well, successfully piquing my interest from the beginning. Certainly not an easy task.

"The Lie" is seemingly all based around this idea of a life that bores and consumes through materialism. But it's not in the way that many creepypastas, and stories in general, have really done. Instead, the writer opted for a more original (granted, still depressing) view on a life contemporary to most all others. Using, quite literally, a gold shovel as a metaphorical symbol. Living such a materialistic life - as established fairly early on in the tale - how much further can you go, using a golden shovel for dirt? You really can't, and that's what "The Lie" has as it's greatest strength.

A life that's complete is a life that should be ended. The story rolls with this concept for some time before moving on to what should be it's most attractive feature. It's interesting, psychological, and maybe not terrifying, but oddly creepy to think about for such an amount of time. What if your life were to be complete and everyday was a repeat? Then comes the next idea.

Going back to what I said should be its most attractive feature though; the mindf*ck element. This should be the pinnacle of the story, the climax, whatever you want to call it. A mindf*ck should keep your pulse pumping from surprise or excitement at the end, unlike most other stories that help you relax through a small series of events that give closure. This mindf*ck surprised me, but in no good way.

When I headed into it, I had no idea that it was a mindf*ck. So, when I was introduced to the last few paragraphs, I was soarly disappointed. Yet, that's not what injured it the most for me. The fact of the matter is, this is a crappy mindf*ck. After going through a few sentences again, I noticed basically all of the nods to the source material it was based off, and I think I can safely say I would have recognized it if I were to know it was a mindf*ck.

As well as this, the twist doesn't feel natural. For whatever reason, the author suddenly decided to be dreadfully unoriginal in execution. He/she uses what I like to call movie dialogue (dialogue that essentially sums up to cheesy schlock as a cheap way to convey an idea using dialogue no one in real life would ever use) to make the big reveal. Add onto this how much the idea feels shoe-horned in due to it's stupidly quick pacing and abruptly dull writing.

"The Lie" is, or would have been, a great creepypasta that delves into many of the psychological troubles of having a life too perfect. Then, there's a poorly executed M. Night Shyamalan twist that basically tampers the entire experiece. Read the first few paragraphs for an interesting idea for one of your own creepypastas based on this same concept, just don't read the full story.

- Death

5.0/10

If you would like to have your story reviewed in this format, then please leave a comment in either this blog or this one and I will message you if I have read  and decided to review it. Thank you.