Talk:The Last Big Secret/@comment-25021327-20140703171340

Just cruising around on the WIki, I came across this one. I must preface this by saying that I know virtually nothing about SotC, aside from what gamepay I have seen, I am not familiar with the story, or deeper mythos.

That being said, I did quite enjoy this tale. Obviously I wasn't able to follow along with everything, since I don't know enough about the game, but from context, and taking the narrator's word as truth, I got through the story without much trouble.

What worked for me was the pacing of the main storyline, the retelling of the events involving the 8 kids. I feel like you were able to get across the main points you needed to without alienating the reader with too many details about the game, while leaving enough of the story open to interpretation for those who may be more familiar with SotC. I found the characters to be fairly well done, while after one read, I probably couldn't identify them each spot on, and some traits might be interchangable, you did well within the confines of a short form story.

The catalyst for the whole story, The Last Big Secret, is kind of a nebulous concept for me. I like that you initially stated that it was most likely just a secret ending to the game, instead of just continuing to string the reader along with the promise of "something." The ending is pretty well done, the outcomes for the characters are nothing shockingly groundbreaking, but still work fine. the way you wrap everything up with the re-interpretation of the line from the game I liked. it made the ending less ambiguous, but still open to interpretation. Made it work much better than if you just went the route of "Game is evil! don't make eliv game mad! it will make you dead!'

The concept of game designers hiding some kind of code to be used to communicate(?) with spirits, or entites on another plane is pretty out there, but hey, we're all here to read and write spooky stories, and to much realism makes for boring stories.

If I had any major complaints, they would center around the format of this pasta. The opening of the story almost lost me before I got to the "Truth Must be Told" section. I felt like it might have just been telling the reader about the secret, and how awful it is and how you shouldn't try to find it instead of letting us read and determine for ourselves. I think those first few sections, could maybe be consolidated. Other than that, I pretty much liked this story. The group of friends angle is nice and reminds me of an oft used Stephen King tool, which I like.

Sorry for the long and drawn out review! I'd like to see what others think, maybe some who are more familiar with SotC, and a few more who are more or less ignorant to it like me. For what it's worth, I thought this was a good, solid read executed rather well :)