Talk:A Lonely Night/@comment-27014123-20151019235854

I've only written  2 creepypastas, so I get the whole "constructive critism thing" and why you want to hear someone else's perspective. So I'll do my best:

It's definilty not bad for a first creepypasta. You seem to understand the general concept of what a creepypasta. I'm going to reccomend two authors/youtubers that you should listen to and whose work you should read if you want real inspiration for your own writing.

In the future, if your going for the poetry approach you need to have more creative sounding rhymes. I mean task-ask, follow-hollow, atone-alone, man-can? And alot of "ights" and "ites", again not bad, but if your just starting out do yourself a favor and ditch the poetry- its not worth it. Focus on descriptive storytelling, not rhyme schemes. Think of all the well known pastas and then try to think of the ones that were poems.

Why should the reader care about this boy? Who is this "thin" man that I know nothing about and why should I be scared of him? Finally, why would this thin man with a knife let the main protagonist walk away but takes the boy without worrying about what the protagonist might do? (etc: call the police)

But overall, an excellent first atempt. All of the problems it has can be fixed if you open up the word catalog, sprinkle in some descriptive words, and help the reader picture a creepy setting. It's okay to be vague when it comes to a story's meaning or ending but the reader has no visuals to see what you see in the story. Help your readers understand you, engage them to keep reading.

The two writers are Slimebeast and Dead Pallete. Slimebeast is a well known author who has written hundreds of stories, mostly known for Abandoned by Disney, Funnymouth, and I Hate You. He has his own website now.

Dead Pallete has a youtube channel where he narrates over stories he was written and re-wrtten - his style of storytelling is  very good and I highly reccomend his work. Oh and "Midnight Marinara" is another great channel with great creepypasta content - the creator of that channel also wrote "Grad Night in the Haunted Mansion".

Sorry if this was a bit long but if you wanted real advice about writing creepypasta, I can only reccomend the people who's stories inspired me. Even if that means searching outside the SOG wiki. Again, I'm new at this too, so don't think I'm being all high and mighty. I have two stories and a youtube channel that I want to get feedback for, so I absolutely understand where you are coming from.

Overall: 6.75/10 *Good thats close to Great!*