I'm So Sorry

When I was younger I used to have peculiar night terrors. Most kids usually would just wake up screaming, but mine weren't like that. I'd usually go to sleep early while my family would be relaxing in the downstairs living room. I'd stumble downstairs into the living room with tears coming down my face while saying "I'm so sorry."

I can only recall bits and pieces of the wretched terror, but even now just thinking about it gives me the same feeling the dream would give me. It's a sinking feeling, it's like being sucked down a drain. Everything's spinning around you and you're helpless, you're out of control. Some would say it's an anxiety attack but I know it wasn't, especially because I've had attacks before and this was much different.

The actual dream seemed like a very weird laid out game. I was on block A and my family was on block C and this unspeakable THING was on block B. The worst part was the tool needed to stop the beast was right in front of me but I just couldn't do it. My vision would go black and all I could hear is the screams of my loved ones. After that I was just alone, with the thoughts of failing my loved ones. Somewhere during these events I would've always sleep walked into my parents' room, I'd be sobbing and saying "I'm so sorry."

I'd always wake up the next morning with no recollection of what had happened. I'd wake up perfectly fine and my parents would bring up the subject and it'd hit me that it had happen again but I just wouldn't be able to remember the entire dream. Just the fact that I let that thing take control.

Maybe someday I'll have the dream again and finally remember what happens. Hopefully, if it actually happens, I'll be able to stop the thing.