Talk:Final Fantasy: Hell/@comment-30102911-20161115023954

I will give this much, if english really isn't your first language then I can understand why this story has as many grammatical errors as it does. Unfortunatleythat's not the only problem here as this story has WAY more going against it. This story is just another retread of a guy who buys a game off of ebay and things seem normal until it begisn to descend into weird territory. The idea of crossing over elements of FF6 into FF4 might actually be decent groundwork for a creepypasta but this story doesn't give an example of how it can be done. Just an additional point I'd like to make, adding the Lavender Town music into your story these days is considered by most readers and writers to be the point where the writer has run out of ideas. Even worst was the whole ending. Apparently devils come to stab the writer in the night before his parents manage to kick them out? I'm pretty sure installing a CCTV system isn't going to do much good in making them stay away or help the parents recognize their kid is in danger. I might have given more on this story than I needed to but this is one example of a story that needs to be re-written from A to Z.