Talk:Eternally Hungry/@comment-29502200-20160824051143

My review on the poem

Title: I don't like. It's an interesting title, but something about speaking the phrase "eternally hungry" just doesn't flow properly.

I've noticed many spelling and grammar mistakes.

The rhyme scheme doesn't work. A,B,A,C,D,C - A,B A, D, E, D - A, B, A, D, E, F, G, D, G, D, H, D - A, B, A, C, D, E - A, B, A, C (I believe this is the rhyme scheme) The rhythm is on point, but the rhyming doesn't flow properly.

The story itself is great, and the ending gives a satisfying ending.

Overall Review: 4/10 - Good story, bad flow.