Talk:When You're Alone/@comment-25021327-20141109004842

I think this was well written. The descriptions are quite good, and the pacing is consistent. The narrator was pretty easy to relate to, in that I think a lot of us have had times when we felt like this, or knew someone who was going through a rough patch and wasn't dealing with it in the healthiest way.

Maybe it's just the mood I was in while reading this, but I felt it was a little too dour for me. However that may have been exactly what you were going for, and if so, then it worked rather well. By the end I felt like I really had very little sympathy for this guy, again maybe what you were going for, and a character the reader dislikes, is better than a character the reader doesn't remember, or care about.

I liked some of the little false clues, or red herrings throughout, aside from ust talking about how Karen wasn't there. Refering to "the accident" which is left totally open to interpretation (I'm pretty sure it wasn't explicitly explained) and the tolerance this guy has for painkillers. I thought those were interesting little details.

Again, just a personal opinion, the payoff left me feeling a little unsatisfied, which is one of the main reasons I'm not a huge fan of "Mindfuck" stories.

So, as I say, not necessarily a favorite of mine, but I can most definitely appreciate the work that went into the story, and the literary skill with which it was executed.