Talk:What Went Wrong?/@comment-25021327-20150204052729

Well Sam, I found this to be pretty enjoyable :) Your writing seems to be getting stronger with every story you post, and I'm glad to see you continuing to write. The plot is reminiscent of The Thing, in the settingl a research facility in an unforgiving climate (if you haven't seen Carpenter's "The Thing" totally check it out)

This story was pretty interesting and kept me reading throughout. The pacing felt well done and pretty consistent, aside from the time jumps that are important to the story. The length was good here, I thought. I didn;t really feel like it dragged on at any points, which was good. The grammar and spelling were in pretty good shape, but there were some spots that could use another proofreading. Nothng comes to mind right now (I'm rather tired) but There were a couple spots where the wording had me scratching my head.

There were some things in here that seemed off to me. One thing that really stood out was (journal abruptly ends after a loud explosion from the distance) I was under the impression that these were written, or typed journal entries/lab reports, unless I missed something. There were a few instances in which this read more like an audio log, and took me out of the tale a bit. On a somewhat related note, this felt like it read way more like personal journals than any kind of lab report.

There was some suspension of disbelief with some of the events and circumstances, sometimes almost going a bit too far out there, but It seemed to reign itself in before it went totally off the deep end. I had a bit of trouble keeping some of the characters straight, but that may just be how tired I was reading this, and I appreciate that you give a rundown in the begining of who everyone is.

Some people are turned off by gore, but I don't it's always a detriment to a story. In this one, it may have been a little excessive, but I didn;t feel like it didn;t fit with the tone of the story or anything.

I think this story would have been strong enough on its own without the last image, but I don;t think it hurtst he story either, and as far as sequels, or spin offs go, this one didn't feel too derivative. I liked the part about the parasitic insects possibly causing  (simulated?) reanimation ( think there's a type of parasitic insect that does this to other bugs)

In all, I enjoyed it. Maybe not the most original of ideas, and it isn't my favorite story, but it's  executed well enough to provide a couple pages of entertainment, and it seems like you did some research for this story (names and places to mention some). Glad I took some time to read this :)