Talk:Why Humongous? Why?/@comment-1810325-20130417200459

It was interesting read, I'll give you that. Basing your pasta off of real things was actually a nice surprise, the use of wikipedia and youtube links gave a morse immersive and "real" fealing to it (seeing as how they are real, ha ha ha).

However, your use of *sigh* and "..." and "CAPS LOCK" make it seem very silly, and really broke my immersion. I get why you did it, you wanted to put more emphasis on things, express the character's fear and anger over situaitons, but using them too much just hurts the experience.

And some of the details are just wacky. You get a phone call from a friend you haven't seen in 19 years, and he just throws you these codes? Why not ask him to hang out? Maybe you were going for something creepy or supernatural, but this is where your subject actually hinders the story. It's tame, the things you are talking about are tame. You can feel shock over them, I certainly would too, but you don't get nightmares about fish dying, you don't go to therapy, and you don't have a spooky friend disapearing after you do it.

There's also a bit of grammer and spelling issues too.

Overall, I like the concept, I really do, but I just think that with a subject like this, you need to sepearte yourself from the story and think "is this what my character would really do?"

If I'm not understanding a concept or an idea, please, tell me what I'm missing. I don't want to give you suggestions that are against your intentions.