Talk:Zombreon/@comment-8470110-20131123002826

3/10

The pictures of the Zombreon and Sentret were a nice touch and the concept was original as far as I know. However, the execution of the story was not that good.

The story felt very choppy, jumping from one plot point to the next. There was a clear direction of where the plot was going, but it was filled with irrelevant details, pointless plot devices and uninteresting events. Thy detail was pretty good and the idea had some potential, however it all led to a disappointing and unsatisfying ending. All the events you set up could've led to some creepy things, however the story just ends. It ends on such an awkward note, it feels like there should be more.

It was an interesting read, but felt awkward and unfinished. For your future pastas, I recommend having a bit more detail, build up, more relevant plot devices to support the plot and a satisfying ending.

-Sshakenbakee (Cameron S.)