Talk:Skype Beta Build/@comment-25021327-20150710233553

I thought that this piece had some interesting aspects. I like the concept of an abandoned Skype build providing a link to a weirdo user. It's plausible enough that some person could hack an outdated version of a program and cause trouble with it, which gives this story a bit or a nice, creepy feel.

The writing here was competant, and readable with pretty good grammar, format and spelling, which is nice, especially for a first (or early) creepypasta. There weren't really any parts where I was taken out of the story... for the most part.

There were some things here that I thought were a little out there, or could have been dealt with a little better. The first thing that kind of struck me was the change between the June8th entry and the June12 entry. It seemed like the narrator went from a bit confused and curious to full on psycho pretty quickly. I realize that the entries do take place a few days apart, and it is explained why he is so paranoid, I just thought it was a little abrupt is all.

The Police report is something that gets used a lot in creepypastas. I can understand why, but soetimes it can be tough to pull off. Some of the facts seemed a little odd to me there. The first report is from June 23 and states that Martin is dead. (Also that between the 12th and the 23rd when he was found dead, a matter of less than two weeks, he was able to create a pile of feces upwards of 8 feet tall! Holy Shit) The next police report dated July 23 states that Martin died on July 2nd... but he was already dead on June 23rd... some police writer fouled up XD Also it is stated that martin deid from sleep deprivation, and then states that he was murdered... which is it?

If some of those facts were cleaned up, I think it would help the creepypasta read a little bit better. Maybe some slowed pacing (But that's just a personal opinion) As it is, and for a first CP, it isn't too bad :)