Talk:Did You Scream/@comment-25021327-20140908132225

I found this a little hard to follow, although I gather that the overall tone was intended to be disorienting, since the narrator is apparently confused and in the thoes of insanity. That said, it felt a little too jumpy,(the narrative, and the pacing o an extent) or stream-of-consciousness driven for my personal taste. That's just me though.

There were some good descriptions peppered throughout the pasta, and that's a good thing. i think the concept has potential. I feel like if you could go back and give another pass at proofreading, as well as break it up into paragraphs, it would flow better, and feel more cohesive. Not too bad, but could maybe use some polish in my opinion.