Talk:Days of My Life/@comment-24240632-20131123035014

The Days of My Life sounds like a soap opera, no?

Description: 5.5/10 - There were quite a few run on sentences and other grammatical errors that could use some polishing, but all in all not bad. You could've described and detailed things a lot more, but I suppose it's better than having the problem you had before, which was dragging things out too long. Not bad.

Plot: 6.8/10 - It was an excellent mindf*ck, but it wasn't too obvious at first when you revealed it. It took me a few seconds to get it, but when I did I was extremely surprised. When it comes to the mindf*ck part, you've out done yourself. You didn't drag things out too much for no obvious reason in this one like you did in your others, but this failed to creep me out in the slightest. Yes, I know you talked about how your poor friend was run over, however you didn't get into enough detail when it came to that moment. It didn't really feel like a creepypasta, but instead more of an entertaining little story you would tell at camp with your friends.

Entertainment: 7.5/10 - If you can surpass the obvious grammatical errors, and not really getting a creepypasta, then you'll find a rather entertaining story here.

Pros:

+ Very Surprising

+ Interesting Take

+ Not Dragged Out Too Long

+ Large Improvement

Cons:

- Grammatical Errors

- Not Creepy

- Could Use Some More Description/Detail

Overall: 6.5/10 - Okay.

"A huge improvement for, Fryz and a decent story all around that well surprise you!"

- Marcus