Talk:The Toxin/@comment-25021327-20141008005636

I understand it's your first pasta, but there are a few pretty simple things you could tweak to make it a bit more readable. First off, as it is now, it's an unformatted wall of text. If you break it up into a few paragraphs of 5 or 6 sentences each, it will be easier to follow.

You have a lot of dialogue here, but it needs some formatting as well. The use of quatation marks, and capitalized letters will go a long way. I grabbed a it of text from the story -

''It looks like the other one, said moody. Yeah i know, said Stock. but unlike the ps34-x this one eats away at flesh and bone. how are you keeping it in there?''

With a little editting, it coul be turned into an easier to read format

''"It looks like the other one," said Moody. ''

''"Yeah I know," said Stock. "But unlike the ps34-x this one eats away at flesh and bone."''

"How are you keeping it in there?"

That breaks things up a bit and helps it read more easily, even if there are still spelling and grammar issues. As for the actual story, It's not too bad, but it would benefit from somewhat slower pacing, and more descriptions of events happening.