Stuck

I haven’t moved anything, I was still crawling in the corner trying to hold on to little sense I had left. My eyes hurts, less than before perhaps, but nevertheless beyond what I would call comfortable. The bright light amplified by the four white wall surrounding me do not seem to help either. I have been here for no longer than a few hours, how I found myself in this small white room, I do not know. Have I gone insane? Am I in an holding cell for the criminally insane  that would cause damage to himself and others around him? I don’t believe so, if it were the case, I wouldn’t be wearing my clothes but rather a straightjacket or at least a hospital gown of some sort. No, the walls aren’t made of soft rubber but of cold and hard tiles.

How did I end up here? What would be the last thing I remember? I remember the dark, right before heading home. There’s a park, right in front of my apartment, I mostly take a walk there on my way from work. It was dark, as dark as it gets when the moths fly and the tree’s look like figures silently screaming or watching carefully every move that you make. I was walking back home, worked longer that I should have, I had some time left to finish my project but I wanted it done before the end of the week, so I could enjoy the familiar sins of the lazy weekend days. It was a hot summer night, I don’t remember getting back home, the park is truly the last thing I remember. Could it be that I was somehow attacked? Knocked unconscious by some mysterious culprit and dragged in this room? But there were no doors, no windows, and I didn’t seem to be hurt. There was no blood on the back on my head, nothing hurts. Well, except for my eyes that were gradually getting better.

I shook my head, I have to forget about the how and why and find a way out of this room. I tried to stand, had better luck the next try, I could stretch my arms and hold on to the wall next to me. I inspected the room and found nothing of interest, I couldn’t even make a few steps in the small space. The room must have been three by three meters, barely enough to stretch my legs circle around the tight space that was given to me as new habitat by a mysterious entity.

I knocked on every inch of every wall, as one would do with nothing but time to enjoy himself with, looking for a hollow spot, but every wall seemed solid. I tried the ceiling and the floor, but they seemed to be made of solid cement, the light bulb on the ceiling could come off but I rather found myself stuck in a bright room rather than in complete darkness. I found myself expressing my frustration by violently punching the wall as hard as I could repeatedly until the wall was covered with drips and smear of blood and the pain in my right hand caused my to fall to the floor and weep in my own misfortune.

I closed my eyes and laid on the cold floor, feeling the pumping of my hearth resonate in my hand, now swollen and bruised. When I opened them again, I do not know how long I had been in this wretched place, but suddenly I heard a noise, I sat up, hope filled my eyes. My captor? Coming to free me from this prison? Maybe. On further observation I found that the faint sounds came from the wall I had punched earlier. I crawled toward it and put my ear against the wall in hope of hearing something that would explain the situation I had found myself in.

There was a voice, speaking from what seemed to be far away, what it said I do not know. But I was relieved to hear another human voice. I listened to this newfound melody for a while before trying to communicate. I screamed and asked who was on the other side, but as soon as the words came out of my mouth, the voice stopped on the other side. It remained silent for a few minutes, as I tried hopelessly to shout for any responds. What happened next, I couldn’t have imagined. I heard a sound like metal scraping over the floor and a heavy breathing could be heard on the other side of the wall, then a voice came, it wasn’t the voice itself that frightened me, but the fact that I heard it like the wall was made of paper, making me feel like whoever was behind the wall could reach out and grab me. It said my name, in a low voice, it sounded like a man but there was such hate in his voice that I backed away. Suddenly the wall where the voice was coming from shook as something seemed to ram against it violently. Each blow would be louder than its predecessor, and with each blow it would sound like the wall would hit it’s breaking point. I screamed as I expected something rather than someone break through the wall and in a raging frenzy would tear me apart.

I closed my eyes as I tried to recollect memories that used to make me smile, but it was in vain, as my screams echoed through the small space making whatever was on the other side of the wall hit even harder every time.

Silence, I dare not to open my eyes, the noise has stopped, but I fear to open my eyes and find the wall broken and the thing that knows my name  in here with me, waiting patiently for me to open my eyes and acknowledge its existence only to strike me down with the same violence that it had done merely moments ago.

It’s quite, I still lay curled up in my corner, knowing that nothing will happen, as long as my eyes are closed and the monsters are far away, far away trapped beyond these walls that I have come to call comfort.

I open my eyes, slowly, the room remains, the wall shows cracks but still stand, I am once more alone, but the thing beyond the wall has started digging, a rhythmic sound that reminds me of a dog clawing the floor. I beg it to stop, but the sound continue relentlessly, never stopping even for a breath. I beg it to stop once more but what sounds like a soft chuckle can be heard along with the sound of its claws hopelessly trying to get in.

Hours have passed, at least, my idea of time might me deserted somewhere along with my will to live and my will to fear. I have grown passive and let the sound that once frightened me, calm me and bring me serenity. I do not care anymore for what happens when the wall will break, of what legions of horror will come through. I crawled toward the now cracked wall and lay with my back against it, letting the rhythmic entity decide my state of mind. I ask it how it knows my name, the scratching stops, but it doesn’t answer. I ask it what or who it is but once more my companion remains silent. I decide to do the same and enjoy short laps of silent.

I heard a heavy breathing beyond the wall, the thing was still there,  when suddenly a loud scream echoed, it came from behind the wall, it was angry, whatever it was. It began clawing again and ramming what seemed to be its full weight against the wall. I jumped up and landed against the opposite wall. The noise and screams grew louder and more frantic with every blow. The cracks on the wall formed a vertical line, as if to tell me the wall was close to falling and the thing would enter soon. I was terrified once more, the sound of metal dragging against the floor and the loud screams of the thing as it tore down the wall brought me to my knees in the corner of the small white room that was being demolished around me. A part of the wall finally gave in, I dared almost not to look at it, but as the thing created a hole barely big enough for a hand to pass, it stopped.

Silence befell the room once more and a moving shadow was visible through the hole. The shadow was restless, yet silent, then an eye peeked through. It was human, but old, wrinkled skin around it’s bright and hateful stare. I asked the thing what it wanted but the eyes disappeared. I started to wonder if I had imagined it’s voice naming me earlier, could it be that I had fabricated it’s voice and knowledge? The wall fell, debris flew around, the light disappeared to make place for its counterpart. I close my eyes as the thing crawl through the debris toward me, I remember a sudden pain and a scream that belongs to no other than myself, as I let the darkness and it’s creature devour  me.

The cold floor woke me, as I opened my eyes I was shocked to find myself in the same room, all the walls were intact and no harm had come to me. The cracks in the wall had disappeared and the only sound I could hear was the soft buzzing of the light bulb above. Had it been a dream? Was any of this real, this room, anything? The pain had been real, the fear also, I laid on the floor tired, hoping to wake up to the sound of the traffic passing by my bedroom window. I closed my eyes for no more than a minute, but when I opened them something was off with this room. It wasn’t my bedroom as I had hoped, but still this bright white and hopeless room, yet it seemed, how can I say, smaller. I investigated to see if my fears were true, but had no way to measure the space. I decided to see how many steps I could take by putting a foot right in front of the other and walked in a straight line, once this was done I waited patiently. I began to question my hunger, or rather my lack thereof. Since I had found myself in this place, the thought of food  hadn’t crossed my mind. It had been several hours already but I was feeling no thirst nor hunger. I was wondering about that fact when I noted one of the tiles on the wall I was leaning against to be broken, fear rushed through me as I recalled the thing beyond the wall. But I inspected it anyway. I found it to be loose and removed it, showing strangely enough what seemed to be wood beyond it, I stood I shock and without thinking kicked and clawed at the wall removing tile after tile. What I found then was my most literal desire, a wooden door. About a feet deep in the wall. I couldn’t help but to mask my suspicion with joy and eager to leave this room. When I opened  the door my worst fears could not be explained, but I shall try nonetheless. It was empty, there was nothing there, a dark abyss stretched before me. I could see what seemed to be miles ahead and all I saw was nothing. No light yet no darkness, no ground, no sky, no walls. I jumped back in the room and crawled into a corner, what was this? There must have been an explanation for all of this. I opened the door once more and inspected the outside. The known world ended at the door, beyond that there was nothing, I stuck my head out to see what was next to my cell, and found nothing but vacant space, the same below and on all sides, this room-like cell must have been suspended then? I leaned out holding on to the door enough so I wouldn’t fall in the darkness, but I found nothing to hold on the cell, it was as if floating in the void that surrounded it, falling perhaps, but without wind, without anything to break its fall. I returned inside the room devastated, without hope, without thoughts, without gods to save me. I was alone, surrounded by withe walls which were surrounded by an endless void themselves.

Had I died? Could this be hell? I wondered as my mind tried to wrap itself around my situation and my eyes were staring into the void that stretched before me. I realized that I was completely alone in the world, the last living thing, I was where not even god could reach. My own realm, did my thoughts echoed through the darkness? Nothing is without end and not even the void which must be stretching before me could reach beyond my thoughts and what I preserved as real. This room was the last thing I had beside myself, the last object of gravity I could lay my feet upon. I closed the door never to open it again, and sat on the cold floor, I arranged the debris from the wall that had hidden the door to all the answers, and named them to be mountains, of my tears I created men and woman, and of my blood all the things they should fear, I became the god of this room and all else, and when my eyes opened for the first time I understood, a form of immortality if you will.



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<p class="MsoNoSpacing">written by Grimmbreak