Talk:I'm Free... AT LAST/@comment-26480939-20171212213939

Okay, just looked at Yveltal's Pokédex entries over on Bulbapedia. Here's what it says:

X: "When this legendary Pokémon's wings and tail feathers spread wide and glow red, it absorbs the life force of living creatures."

Y: "When its life comes to an end, it absorbs the life energy of every living thing and turns into a cocoon once more."

If Yveltal was trying to hang on to its life, your character and all the other humans should have also died. Because they also have life force/energy.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I don't really know how to rate this. Because it's kind of confusing for me to understand. You got Y, played it, got bored of it, then played it again after learning you could catch Mewtwo and then you heard about the ghostly girl in Lumiose City. You then tried to find her, ended up in a battle with her, then weird shit goes down, and your Yveltal tried to stay alive by absorbing your team's life force/energy, which ends up killing off all the Pokémon in Kalos, and you run around the region, only to find your glitched-up Yveltal and releasing it by breaking the Master Ball it was in? Then you reset your game and everything is back to normal, and you write all of the previous in-game events off as a weird Easter egg that GAME FREAK put in? That's the gist of it from what I can gather from this.

Other than being somewhat confusing, the only other criticism and suggestion for improving this I have is some slight capitalization errors (Proper nouns, names, and place names are always capitalized. I saw several occurrences of some of those being uncapitalized.)

Ratings:

Meat: 7.5/10 You certainly know your Pokémon well enough, but the inconsistency sometimes shows up.

Scare/Shock Factor: 0/10 Not so much scary, moreso WTF/confusing.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling: 5/10 Average. It's readable but some capitalization errors mar the experience a bit.

Overall: 7.5/10 All I can say is keep trying. You have some interesting stuff here, but try to not make stories so confusing for the reader.