Talk:Mortis/@comment-25021327-20150719033836

I thought that this was a pretty interesting read. The style and vocabulary had a somewhat unique feel to them, and I thought it was pretty well paced throughout. In all this felt like a pretty solid haunted game style pasta.

Initially I was a little bit put off by the "You've never heard of this game, and don't bother researching it" thing in the beginning, as well as the "DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME!!" warning. That's just a personal gripe, and it's probably one that comes from having read similar things so often. When I read a gaming Creepypasta, I know I'm reading straight fiction, so the narrator addressing me as if in a kind of reality kind of has the opposite effect on me. It takes me out of things a bit.

As for the plot here, it kept me pretty interested. I felt like things were described well enough that I was able to visualize and imagine sounds fairly well, so that was nice. I did however feel a little like I wasn;t fully in the story as much as I ought to have been. The things being described were unsettling, but I wasn't sure that they were the type of things that would freak me out as much as they did the narrator here. Maybe if I had been better able to get myself into the story that would have come across more.

I feel like there is more to this story than I can get with only one reading, so I'm planning on going back and reading it again after a bit of time has passed. There were some things here that I wasn;t sure about. Some things that felt like they could either have deeper meanings, or just be red herrings. After one reading, I don't feel confident in making calls about deeper meanings, but the fact that I want to read this again later is a good thing x3

In any case, Like I said, I think this was a pretty well written, and solid piece. Toward the end I was afraid that the narrator was going to vomit from everything he had experienced (Something I tend to really dislike in creepypastas) but he didn't! So, bonus points. This one has a nice little twist to the ending that worked. I don't usually care for big twists, but this one pretty much made sense, so that's okay. In all, I'm glad I gave this a read, and yes, I would encourage you to keep writing :)