Talk:Zosan.zip/@comment-24735972-20140522004402

(You suddenly find yourself being approached by a girl in rather ragged clothing, her face obscured by a mask made from dirty tatters of cloth, but her glowing, red eyes are extremely vivid. She lowers the large pair of gardening shears in her hands and slowly tilts her head before talking to you, her voice so quiet it sounds like an unsettling whisper)



This is interesting, like Kefke said: your grammar, vocabulary and style are better than most users on this site and it’s nice to see! I also like how you’re fleshing out the pasta over periods of time, rather than just posting it all up in one go – it makes the creepiness feel more authentic. Yes, there are clichés – such as the edited pictures of the One Piece characters or the .zip filename, but they work here because I’m assuming at some point you’re going to explain why the pictures, rather than having scary images for the sake of making a pasta more scary and “HYPER REALISTIC!!!!!11!”



Overall, this is an interesting pasta, definitely one of the better ones I’ve come across on this wiki. I eagerly wait to see what other things you have in store for your readers concerning Zosan.zip.



(The girl digs into the pockets of her jeans and pulls out a pair of scissors so sharp and well cared for that they look like they could cut through the thickest of arms. She gives them to you, turns and gives you one final glance before heading back into the darkness from whence she came)