Talk:Epsilon Missingno/@comment-25021327-20140615144823

Okay, I have a limited knowledge of "pokeemans," as the phenomenon was a little after my time, so I can't speak much to the content, and mythos contained in the story. However I will try to effectively critique the pasta.

At times I had difficulty following the narrative of what was happening within the game, and I know that was probably due to the air of mystery you were putting in. I think I was able to collect that there were experiments being conducted on pokemon, that Carl can communicate with pokemon, and disagrees with the experimental methods. Also that Carl is thought to be somehow defective, and is part of a subplot involving Pokemon-Human gen research.

As the action built I had trouble figuring out what was going on, when, and why. The pacing seemed kind of jumpy to me, and I was having trouble following everything happening toward the ending.

All that said, I think that your descriptions are pretty well done, and probably work better on a reader more familiar with Pokemon than myself. I think you have an interesting story here, that might benefit from more even pacing. You mention that you might want to make this an ongoing story, so there is no need to rush through things. I haven't read many Pokemon pastas, but it seems like many deal with scientific experimentation. I gather this is a main part of the pokeon world, get creative with things, and make your PokePasta stand out!

I think it's a good first attempt, and that you should keep writing! SPelling and grammer seemed pretty good, and check out this page  for tips of formatting dialogue, to make back and forth discussions easier to follow. I hope my comments weren't to useless, Sorry for the long winded critique! (I tend to blabber on mare than I ought to)