Talk:Level One/@comment-25021327-20150523162355

23-May-2015- This was marked for review, and I'm adding the Needs work tag here. The main reason is that this piece is very short, and I think it ight work better if it were bulked up some. I'm also unsure if you were going for a Mindfuck feel or not, since it is apparent up front what game this is referencing. That's fine if you want everyone to know the theme of the story, I just wasn't sure exactly.

There are one or two typos in here as well (They warriors in the fort, Evil Stars inconsistently capitalized) And that wouldn;t be a big deal, except that the story is so short that they stand out more. I think that there is something here to be built upon, and with a little work, I think this could be a fun story.

As this page is now tagged "Needs Work," it will face deletion in about 9 days if it has not been deemed adequately improved pending another review.