Talk:Collect for Christ/@comment-6794436-20150830182632

Well that just happened...

Good: This was written excellently. I seldom found grammatical errors, and this was overall written exceptionally. The story was fluid, and very easy to follow. I also think that the length of this pasta was perfect. Some pastas are better when they're long and drawn out, but this one was made better by its shorter length. This pasta seemed to do better on its second reading since I was able to decipher all of the little subtle hints you left in the pasta. That is how a mindfuck should work, although I did have my problems with the mindfuck itself...

Bad: My biggest problem here was the mindfuck. It wasn't that I saw it coming, but it just wasn't really jaw dropping or surprising. I just read it and thought, "Oh, okay". It wasn't really a creepy mindfuck at all, and it just felt really weak. Maybe it's just my taste, but when I'm reading a mindfuck, I always want to be left with my jaw agape and my mind... well, fucked! Like I previously stated, this pasta really wasn't very creepy either, and it didn't have the benefit of the main character being a badass like most vampire hunters do.

Verdict: 6/10- You know it's a problem when the hints eluding to a mindfuck are better than the mindfuck itself. Still, I thought this was a fun read, albeit not a very creepy one, but it was still a decent story.

-Incorrect3