Talk:Windows 99/@comment-4332975-20130402191010

I don't think that I've ever had to criticize a story for being too detailed before, but they say there's a first time for everything. While the writing is, generally speaking, quite excellent, there's a tendency here to attach as many adjectives as possible. Descriptiveness is good, but it's used so ubiquitously in this that it actually makes the story drag a bit. It would have been nice to see the flowery prose toned down a bit for the minor details in order to make the important bits stand out a little more. Sort of like carefully placed spotlights, as opposed to a shot with a lot of bloom.

Otherwise, this is a good story. Though, the religious overtones grow increasingly heavy as the story goes on. For my personal taste, the dialogue at the end could have been omitted completely. That mainly goes to my personal rule that you never explicitly name "the evil", though. The story works as it is. I just feel, personally, that an implied entity that leaves its nature to the imagination tends to be more frightening than one that makes itself plain. Ultimately, though, this is demonpasta, and to be fair one of the better ones I've seen. I don't at all regret reading it.