I Don't Know Why

<This transcript was on a tape that police found lying next to a river. The river is where locals claim to have seen Nathan Jones last, before he went missing. The voice on the tape claims to be Nathan himself, and he sounds like he is completely calm throughout the tape except for the very end, when he seems to go insane. He had been known for bouts of insane rants, cutting his wrists, and even slashing people with a knife. It is believed that Jeff had run away from his household as his parents tried to contain him in a dog cage, fearing that they would take him to an asylum. This is what the transcript says.>

Hello. My name is Nathan. I am recording this tape in hopes that someone will find it and hear the message I have to say. I am currently sitting by a river. I have no idea how I got here, and I have strong suicidal feelings, though I don’t know why. I feel depressed, like my dog died, or my parents told me I was adopted. I don’t know why. I also have new slash marks on my arms. My family won’t tell me why, even though it is completely obvious now. I seem to have been cutting myself in my sleep. I am doubtful of this, though. How can I cut myself in my sleep? I try and record myself when I sleep but end up with deleted files, a .txt document saying, “Nothing to see here,” or a broken camera.

I wondered why this was. I felt as if my family wasn’t telling me something. You see, every time I woke up from sleeping, I felt… Tired. I know that people feel tired after a nap or something, but I felt… Physically tired. Like I had been recently working out or running. And I never wake up in the same place I had fallen asleep in. I always wake up with my family cautiously walking away from me with at least one of them holding some kind of blunt weapon. I also feel some kind of bruise on my head, and I have feelings of murder, like I’m trying to kill someone. My family keeps taking me to therapy, though every time I go, they say I am completely fine. I feel that my family is trying to kill me. I don’t know why. Maybe I do weird things in my sleep? My family was always very superstitious. I think that I try to attack them in my sleep. So, back to the now. I think I am trying to kill myself. I woke up standing in front of the river, and my legs were bent, ready to jump into the rapids below. I am terrified. Why? Why would I try to kill myself in my sleep?

I think that I have been doing crazy things in my sleep.

(A bumping sound is heard, followed by a groaning and the sound of someone getting up.)

What!? Why am I alive!? I should be in the river! My parents are trying to send me off to an asylum, as I thought! I know how it is. They don’t love me. They don’t even want me! Ever since I found out I was adopted, I have noticed my family trying to be nice, but I know it is fake. It has been my entire life! I am not wanted. I am not wanted. I will never be wanted by anyone! So I must make them pay. I have tried attacking them. I have tried cutting myself to make them feel bad, but it never works! So now (A shaky breathing sound is heard,) I think the only decision I can make is suicide. I will make them feel devastated. They will feel my pain.

Goodbye.

(We hear a scream, followed by a crunch and a splash, then silence.)

