Talk:Deep in Kanto's Waters/@comment-25249478-20150102234232

Not bad, my friend. Not bad...

The grammar in this story is perfect. Didn't notice any typoes or any mispellings at all. Even if there were, I'm sure they wouldn't affect the story/plot majorly. The pacing for this story was also very nice. Now what I like about this Pasta is how you recreate Red's encounter with Missingno. entirely. The way you describe what it did and how Red reacted legitimately made Missingno. seem to be a horrific beast, rather than a glitch. The way it acted and things that happened when it appeared (its flesh falling off, multicolor liquids pouring from its body), it all made Missingno seem, like I said, more like a beast, while maintaining the same "glitch-like" feeling.

Only two problems with this story.

1: Ending. The ending felt much too rushed, but it wasn't the worst one I've read. It didn't ruin the Pasta, which is a good thing.

2: Everything before the Missingno encounter is just a basic, simple retelling of the beginning of Red's journey in the games. Though I like how you described his beginning, and it wasn't just "Red was a trainer who tried to complete a PokeDex and beat Gyms and defeat Team Rocket"...

CONCLUSION: Rushed ending, and a simple retelling for the beginning, sure. But this had great pacing, and a legitimately creepy recreation of Missingno's encounter.

This Pasta deserves an 8/10. Well done!

Oddest of them all! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 23:42, January 2, 2015 (UTC)