Talk:Welcome/@comment-5675310-20141218041436

Welcome to an original, yet some-what lackluster and odd story.

Description: 6.0/10 - The writing was very plain and simple with a few touches of attempted poetry here and there that just ended up falling a little short. There are quite a few sloppy grammatical errors throughout, but most of them are spaced out between eachother. However, one recurring problem I noticed was with past and present tenses; something that's a very common issue with pieces of writing based in the second-person, but also a key error to avoid when using this type of writing. Still, it's plain, simple, and overall stays true to the key ideas of how this is written that this story is fixated upon.

Plot: 8.0/10 - Though this may have been told in multiple ways before, I believe this is the one to reveal it the way you did, and how you described the protagonists troubles in this, "Hell". You speak of pain with no injuries or way out through death.

Entertainment: 8.0/10 - It's a short read that's interesting enough to finish; though the grammatical errors may drive some off. Pros and Cons:

+ Original

+ Writing stays true to itself

- Grammatical errors

- Poetic choices some-what poor

Overall: 7.0/10 - Good.

"Though maybe a little rough around the edges, Rev's short yet satisfying tale is one of some simplistic originality."

- Marcus