Talk:Kirby.exe/@comment-17737991-20140826152328

Taking the information from a pop-up seriously seems a bit strange. Yes, tracking your location is a valid possibility, but I'd assume a lot of ads pose as something they're not. Maybe if the protagonist quickly checked the store's official site first to see if the ad was right and then headed to the store? Eh, just a minor nitpick.

Why would the store continue to offer a potentially corrupted game? .-.

Anyway, the story is pretty generic and clichéd. It's not the worst though, and at least your grammar and spelling is all good! I don't have much to say other than that though, sorry ^^'