Talk:My Average Day/@comment-24082398-20150526212914

Alright, another review, and this time for a worthy pasta!

What was good? Virtually everything. The description was vivid, but it didn't take up a whole page just to describe the day. I could picture every detail, from inane to grotesque, clearly in my head. The grammar was alright, and there were a few errors here and there, but that didn't detract from the fun. I also greatly enjoy the tone of the story, as instead of just having the narrator detail what he does and have one or two thoughts a paragraph, you have every single task being heckled or loathed by the narrator instead of just saying "Now I had to call my boss. He was cheap and I hated him." Finally, the best thing about the package was the mindfuck at the end. It was a brilliant mindfuck, but, I have to admit, I saw some of it coming. The neighbor playing music, the pet, and the retarded neighbor all struck chords with me and hinted as to what it was. Needless to say, though, I thoroughly enjoyed the mindfuck.

Now, onto the bad. Really, there were only two things that I could find that were bad about the whole composition: the grammatical errors every here and there and the small predictability to the conclusion of the story. Other than that, it was absolutely flawless.

I give it an 8.5. It was an amazing story, but the morsel of predictability I saw and the numerous typos were the only things that bogged it down. Sshake needs to come up with a really good story if he wants to top this one! Keep it up!