Talk:Feral/@comment-25021327-20141003141528

This one could use a little work. Firstly, the format needs to be tweaked. Break this up into paragraphs so it isn't a wall of text, and proofread it. There are literally 4 capital letters in this, and they are used in one word, simply for emphasis. Every sentence should begin with a capital letter, it's not just a grammar rule, but mostly, it makes reading the story far easier.

The story itself feels a bit rushed and underdeveloped. I don't get the impression that we really get to know the protagonist very well. The parents may well have their son's best interest iin mind, ut they are painted as the bad guys. The way it reads now feels almost preachy and a bit juvenile. With some more effort and development, maybe this could become something interesting.

Mostly, at least do a little proofreading, and formatting. Also, be sure to add a signature to your work in the future, and try to add some categories; creepypasta, real life, original story, things like that. I hope this critique was somewhat helpful and not too harsh.