I Must Be Dreaming

Have you ever grasped the thought of asking what you really see, feel, hear, and taste is truly reality? For example, you see that it is raining it feels wet, It’s falling from the sky, it’s in mass amounts, it’s water, and you don’t wish to catch a cold so you use an umbrella for protection therefore, it must be raining right? How can one be certain though that it’s actually raining?

Well you go outside and see rain and therefore in must be rain right? However, let’s say you don’t believe rain exists so therefore in your world rain no longer exists because you don’t believe in it. Let’s say you don’t believe in anything, there is nothing, then where are you exactly? Is it a matter of where if you are not in the realm of concepts? What if you wish to believe in order to exist? Would you be forever trapped in some unexplainable thing? It’s hard to say in theory but that’s what I have been trying to figure out. My research sometimes confines to my dreams. I will rest for hours at time trying to remember my research.

I sometimes can no longer grasp on the world around me as I feel as if I am no longer in the world I once was in. After I discovered forbidden tomes of the past nothing has been the same, everyone seems suspicious of me and it’s like I have just entered the town. I have been here for years and yet I feel as if there are glaring watchful eyes spying on me as if I am a stranger.

When I tried so desperately to get the trust of the people in my town it seems stripped from right underneath my feet. It’s sad because even the sweetest of townspeople now give me harsh scowls or curious looks as if they have never seen me.

Occasionally I will feel intimidated by the looks of murder that some eyes that cast upon me. Even though it seems no one trusts me, even though I feel hollow, even though it seems like a desperate struggle to regain their trust I will try my best to get back the years of being here back to me.

I’m not sure what failure would look like at this point but I have prepared myself to take my things and leave this town if it means my safety. It always feels like I hear a soft hum from the tower of this town a melody that is somewhat somber. Unrelenting is this hum that everyone else seems to ignore.

I’ve been told I am paranoid about this town and I have nothing to fear. Reclusive as I am I decided to take a walk around the small town. It always felt so weird that I could never really leave, I mean I would legitimately try to leave this place before but I would just end up walking around the town. The constant sense of dread plagued my mind as I was walking around the town as it seemed like some of the locals were vanishing.

As I was walking around the town a new face entered the town. He wore a red cap and clothing and looked out of place for such a gloomy town like this one. I told him “Hello stranger welcome to our town.”

“….” He said nothing absolute silence as he wandered towards the tower. Chills were sent down my spine as he just ignored me and seemed so cold and emotionless. All of these feelings and emotions felt so familiar yet I couldn’t grasp the thought of why that was.

As I wondered the town I saw him exit and I saw something red dripping from mouth. I froze in terror as I realized it was blood. I could begin to hear the sound of a loud hum, a soothing melody yet haunting at the same time.

He pulled out an axe and wandered into the medical center. I desperately tried to run out of the town but to no avail. I felt so helpless, I wanted to run, I wanted this to be a bad dream, and I couldn’t believe it was happening.

I ran into my house and grabbed my shotgun that I kept when I came here. I charged into the medical center and saw piles of corpses. He was standing in front of the counter smiling at me. I shot him in the chest and shot him again and again. I was so afraid and I just kept shooting him until my bullets ran out.

I exited the medical center feeling sick to my stomach realizing I just shot a kid. I started vomiting into some bushes rather violently. I couldn’t believe that any of this was happening. I looked around and suddenly felt something hit my head and I slowly fall out of consciousness. I wake up in my bed looking around. It was another gloomy day and I couldn’t believe that I had lost the trust of the townspeople. It’s weird I haven’t given them a reason to mistrust me. Anyways, have you ever grasped the thought of asking what you really see, feel, hear, and taste is truly reality?