Talk:Umbreon/@comment-26395089-20150526024337

My guess is that this is trying to uncover the mysteries of Umbreon, but it feels undercooked. I believe that this creepypasta didn't know whether to be a creepypasta, feelspasta, or both, but the plot itself wasn't going anywhere.

I do love how you try to introduce the mysteries of Umbreon, but then it went way too farfetched ( no pun attended lol ) when it starts affecting the real life. What's in the game stays in the game, unless it somehow reflects you in real life in a logical way. Overall, this is really missing plot elements. a lot of it. maybe try to study more of this lovely Pokemon, make journal entries where it relates to it try to give it a meaning, a moral of the story and just the who, what, where, why and how factor.

Now to the grammar, there's a few, like "happiness" should be "happiness" and a few more errors.