Talk:Never Again.../@comment-8470110-20131125025954

4.5/10

This was a fair pasta. The detail was well done, pacing was good and the plot was original as far as I know. However, there were a few things that can be fixed.

First of all, the spelling mistakes need to be addressed as soon as possible. It's annoying when I'm reading the pasta and I begin to correct the mistakes left in the story. Same goes for grammar; there are a few grammatical mistakes like 'me and my squad' that should be addressed as well. It's nothing that a quick trip to Microsoft Word can't fix.

While the pacing was good, I felt like there should be more to this pasta. What we have right now is decent, don't get me wrong. I enjoyed reading it, but there seemed to be some more potential that you didn't recognize. What I suggest doing is reading through your pasta again and see what parts can have more detail added, some backstory can be placed and where more explaining needs to be done. One part I suggest looking at is the man in the cabin. Who is he? Why is he there? How and why does he turn people into Shadowlings? I feel like that can be expanded on, but that's all up to what you can do with it.

All in all, it was a fine read. Not the best, but certainly not the worst. A good job for a second time, but there are some things that can be changed. Nice job, my friend.

-Sshakenbakee (Cameron S.)