Talk:Grin/@comment-17737991-20141205112240

"the 'darkness' was what the police report dubbed 'an entity'."

Why would police dub it that? Did they have any reason to believe darkness can become an entity or had anything to do with her murder? I'd think they would assume she died of a panick attak, maybe her heart was weak. Just saying "Fuck it, idk, DARKNESS DID IT" has got to be the worst investigation ever. And how in the world is that picture photographic evidence of the Grin? It's just a girl in a dark room. She could have died from a natural heart/panic attack, there's no reason at all to assume it was the Grin. Maybe since the lights were on when police arrived, people are saying the darkness is a being that showed up? Or maybe her camera is shit and didn't capture the light correctly? <.<

"however long it takes before it knows how and when you are venerable"

"it changes your mood and makes you scared, paranoid and lonely...it makes you venerable"

1. You mispelled vulnerable

2. Then why the heck does it need to stalk you and wait for a vulnerable moment if it just makes you vulnerable itself anyway?

"that makes every orifice in your head begin to peel away with a ringing in your ears and a clamp around your brain"

Dude... orifices are holes... they can't peel away.

And how does the storyteller know any of this and why are there so many rumours about it when the survivors can hardly even talk? And the only evidence is some random girl in a dark room? Why should anyone think of the Grin as a valid threat when its existence has no evidence at all? And who in the hell would just stare at it, or close their eyes and stand in place! Run away, grab a knife, get your neighbour, call the police! What moron just stands there "Oh shit this is scary and dangerous looking. Time to be passive!"

"but really it's just a man. A man with something that everyone wants but nobody has; power."

Bullshit, a man does not shapeshift into embodiments of our fears, and have an impossibly huge smile, and powers of teleportation. Also, I know of several people with power, saying nobody has any is absurd.

So er... this story has a lot of problems, it just doesn't make much sense. I'll add it to Needs work which means you should work on improving it or it'll be deleted in a week and two days.