Talk:Emily Is Asleep/@comment-25021327-20160923014815

Hmmmm, let's see. There were a lot of things I liked about this story, and some stuff that I felt didn't quite work for me personally. I thought that the length and pacing were pretty good, this one is a little longer than some of the pastas we get around here, and that's nice for a change. The pace felt pretty steady to me throughout, and I didn;t really find myself getting bored or anything during this, though I wasn;t exactly on the edge of my seat the whole time.

The reason for that was because of the title of this and the nature of the flow of the story. Though I thought the characters were more or less relatable, but I couldn;t help feeling like I was just being strung along here for some kind of reveal, which didn;t turn out to be much of a reveal (in my humble opinion). The title itself felt like a warning not to take anything happening in this story at face value. And as it got about halfway through, and nearer to the end, some of the imagery and language which drifted into what might be considered shock-territory, felt a little gratuitous. Not because of what was being described, mind you, I'm not simply against violent descriptions or taking a story to dark places, but for whatever reason in this one it didn;t quite work as well as it might have done.

Some of my critique is likely due to the fact that I felt a little resigned to the possibility of just being jerked around by the story which layered dreams over one another. I wanted to, and in fact did empathize with the characters at times, But perhaps I was too cynical while reading this.

Anyhow, I felt like the writing style of this one was nice, a little different that what most reasers might be used to, and some of the frank dialogue and descriptions were effective and didn;t come off too self conscious. I felt like some of the wording was a little strange at times (examples elude me right now) and there were a couple spots with a typo or two, but certainly nothing very distracting. On a personal note, I felt like some of the language in the wedding vows was a little mushier than I expected from the characters, but I understand the need to show their deep emotions for one another.

Though it may sound like I just rattled off a bunch of complaints, I did enjoy reading this one! I appreciated the time spent just describing and getting to know the characters, I feel like that's a very important component to an engaging story, and something that seems lacking in a lot of creepypasta. I hope this comment didn;t come accross too dick-ish or nitpicky. I'm glad I gave this one a read :)