Talk:Thing/@comment-25021327-20151205041211

I thought this was okay. It takes a fairly simple concept and doesn't do too much new with it. That said, it seems to accomplish what it sets out to do, tell a very short story with a little bit of a bait and switch type thing. The dialogue is fairly light and innocuous, so we don't get to identify too much with the characters. But it is supposed to be a short one, so maybe that's okay.

Toward the end, I thought the repetition of messages was a little sily, or forced. I totally see what the story was going for there, but it seemed a little typical to me. Also, it might have been more effective to have timestamps on the messages to give more of a feel of the pace of these events. That's just my opinion on it.

So, this one isn't really groundbreaking or anything, but it's short, and some folks might get a kick out of it :)