Epsilon Missingno

Hello. My name is Danny, and I love hacked video games. I don’t care if they are creepy, strange, or even violent, I love them anyway. I also have a buddy named Shane that works at Gamestop as a sales manager. He is also a video game programmer going through college. He likes hacked games almost as much as I have. He actually makes some of the ones I’ve played. He knows how to put the games on cartridges and discs, so he is a good source for video game hacks.

I played a game last Halloween called Pokemon: Epsilon Missingno. Now I know what you’re thinking, really, a hacked Pokemon game? Aren’t there enough of those out there, like Pokemon Lost Silver? I would say yes, and that is true, but I still love pokemon and I like to see just what people can bring to the table.

Shane came to my house that day and gave me a DS cartridge. “I think I came up with the perfect game for this Halloween” he said. “Ah, a creepy game I see. You don’t delve into creepy games much, do you?” I asked. “Not really, but I based it off Pokemon, so I think it should be a good start.” Shane confidently said. “You chose Pokemon for Halloween? Let me guess, it has something to do with Lavender Town or the Ghost using Curse and killing everything” I begrudgingly said. “It doesn’t have anything to do with either of those, just play the game and see how you like it. I need to go to work.” “Alright Shane, thanks and have fun.” I said with a smile.

After he left, I looked at the cartridge and saw the words Epsilon Missingno on the cover art. I also saw Missingno and it looked great. The cover had all forms that it could have including the skeletal Kabutops, (which was my favorite form.) Even though the label looked great, Missingno had the look of the Gold and Silver sprites. I put the game in my DS and turned it on to see that Shane used the Gold and Silver look just like the label for the game. When I got to the game, I saw that there was a file started, but just started. There were no Pokemon or badges or anything. I chose the file and a new professor named Professor Bitterroot did the Professor Oak talk.

The sprite for Bitterroot looked great for 8-bit. She was a female with a tall slender build, long blond hair, and nice curves that were realistic. She wore glasses, a labcoat, and had a pleasant smile on her face. When she took out a Pokemon, it wasn’t a cute pokemon like Marill. It was actually a Kangaskan, but with no baby in the pouch. I found that a little off, but I didn’t pay much attention to it. I decided to choose the male gender, and I named him Carl.

I started the game on Cinnabar Island oddly enough, in the Pokemon Mansion. My character sprite had the normal male look, but had a lab coat on. It seemed as though my character was a scientist working on a new Pokemon. They were testing a baby Kangaskan. The first text box came up and read, “Is it really necessary to use a defenseless Kangaskan baby to make a controllable Missingno? Besides, if it weren’t for my unwanted ability to understand Pokemon, we wouldn’t be here right now.” I actually heard voice acting. I believe he did some of it. ”How about you just shut up and go outside and play with your pokemon. It’s the only thing that doesn’t care you’re a retard and doesn’t want you to kill yourself.” I was baffled and angered at the text box. Why would someone say that? I know this is a hack for Halloween, but that is really pushing it.

I gained control of my sprite, and I stupidly tried talking to the other scientists. They all said the same thing, “Go kill yourself, retard.” One scientist did say something different, “The other scientists are just jealous that you were selected to get Pokemon genes, especially when you have a mental disability. Really, I’m honored to be able to work with you. You are a great person and a great help to the team.”

I decided to check my Pokemon and saw that I had a Gallade, Gardevoir, Gengar, and a Gyarados. They were all level 50 and knew metronome. The Gyarados knew surf. At least I could leave the island. I tried to talk to one of the scientists again, but I went into battle the moment I pushed the A button. The scientist said that Carl was a useless sack of shit and sent out his Pokemon. The Pokemon he used didn’t look like any Pokemon I have seen before. It was a mish-mash of pixels. Carl sent out Gyarados and looked at what other moves it had besides Surf and Metronome. It had Flamethrower and Hyper Beam which I thought were pretty good moves. I decided to use Flamethrower, but the opposing Pokemon moved first. The move it used was Brutal. It had the same animation that the Dead Hand creepypasta Pokemon had, so I guessed that it was Dead Hand.

The attack didn’t do much damage, only 10 out of 300. Flamethrower decimated Dead Hand and it fainted. I didn’t get anything for the battle, just him telling Carl to leave them alone and they will get me if they need me. I went outside and a cut scene played out. Carl had His Pokemon out of their Pokeballs, and a text choice came up, just like a Bethesda game. There were only two responses; “Why am I hated by them so much?”, and “Should I stay here on Cinnabar Island, but take the baby Kangaskan with me?” I decided to go with the first option and Gengar said in a feminine voice, “They’re just mad that you got chosen for the Pokemon gene infusion and not them. Really, being able to understand what we are saying is invaluable. Every Pokemon likes you.” “I know that, but I don’t feel like I belong more here than I ever had in Mossdeep” Carl told them.

Gyarados then said in a British accent, “I must admit, that Pokemon I fought did not look right. It may have something to do with the experiments on the baby to make a controllable Missingno. There have been many sightings around Kanto. We must combat them in any way we can.”

One of the scientists came out and he looked a ghostly white. He told me in a terrified voice, “Carl, you are needed in here. There is something going on with the baby. It just killed someone and is wearing his skull.” In a very cross tone, Carl told him “Well, what do you expect? The baby is a Cubone after all. I tried telling you that many times. The experiments you were doing to it were very cruel. It was bound to snap sometime. I’ll go in and see what I can do.”

They went back into the mansion and found the baby wearing a skull. I also saw the scientist that I fought with his head cut open without a skull, brain and other things showing. The DS showed me a more detailed, but still Gameboy look of this gruesome sight. The Cubone jumped into Carls arms and started crying. Gardevoir was out of the Pokeball and said that she could teleport us to Pallet Town. He agreed and they were teleported.

The Cubone looked like it was dying of a very serious skin condition. Carl took it into Professor Oak’s lab and saw him and Professor Bitterroot at the end of the building. He ran to them and asked them to help the Cubone, but they said it was too late. They knew about the experiments and what it would do to the innocent Cubone, and it looked like the testing was coming to an end. Professor Oak told me in a very sad tone, “We are terribly sorry, but the transformation sequence has begun. This is for the best. We know this must be hard for you, but it had to be done.” The Cubone looked like it was run over by a car with how bloody and bruised it was. It was probably beaten with a baseball bat to invoke the transformation, my character thought. The Cubone then started talking in a very weak voice, “This isn’t your fault. Like many have said, this has to be done. You have cared for me through the tests and I want to thank you for all that you have done. Please use what I will become next to help others like you have helped me. ”

Cubone then died in Carls arms. I was looking at the DS with anger and sadness. The Cubone then lifted up into the air and transformed into the regular Missingno sprite. Missingno swung by me like a pendulum and started talking, but the text was very buggy. I did make it out though. ”I must train. Take me through the Pokemon League.” Gallade then told me in a noble sounding voice, “The Pokemon League will be much harder becaouse you have us at level 50. Be careful.” With those words, I played the game like normal.

All of the Pokemon Carl faced against had a different look to them. They had some glitch on them. The Pokemon at the beginning looked normal, but had Brutal as a move, but other than that, the game played normally. At certain points in the game, the graphics changed, but they were spaced very far apart. Carl got to Celadon City when the game looked like Ruby and Sapphire. I got to Cinnabar Island when the game got to the Diamond and Pearl look.

One of the scientists from the beginning came up and said, “You came back I see. The Missingno leveled up very nicely. That was a big mistake. That was supposed to be the new leader of the army and you leveled it up to be a wuss!” “I have thought about it ever since I battled one of you before I got my Missingno, and I now know you all are infected with Missingno!” Carl said with confidence. The scientist smirked and turned into another Missingno.

At that moment, Professor Bitterroot showed up. There were many more Missingno transformations, almost like the entire town was glitched in some way. “Now I know why I felt like I didn’t belong, wait, why didn’t I get infected?” I asked. Professor Bitterroot looked at me with a sad expression and said, “The Pokemon genes that are in you changed your cells to resist infections. You are also able to use those powers to fight. I should know, I was the one who did it. I love you son, and I’m sorry.” She then charged into the army and was infected. After seeing her die, my character sent out all of his Pokemon and the DS focused on his face. He had tears in his eyes, and then he got angry. A strange aura started to surround him. It was a crimson red with flames.

“You will all pay for everything you have done! I will see you all BURN IN HELL!” Carl said with malice in his eyes and voice. The Pokemon used Metronome and they all turned into Sky Attack. Carl used Flamethrower and all of the Missingno turned back into humans, but none survived the searing pain they all felt. The process was quick but gruesome. Their flesh turned black and peeled off, revealing more flesh and some bones. The fire went out after that.

Missingno turned into the skeletal Kabutops and held its scythe up. It then proceeded to say, “The threat is vanquished. I must be destroyed also, but I still thank you for everything you did.” Missingno then stabbed itself and reverted back to its Cubone form, but dead with a hole in its stomach.

The screen turned black like it was going into a credit roll, and then the game said “After everything that happened, Carl went on to beat the Elite Four and become the Pokemon Champion. He then went on to challenge Red on Mt. Silver, but it was during a very harsh blizzard. He has lost everything except for his Pokemon and wanted to have an epic battle for the ages. He won the battle, but after he won, he died from hypothermia.” The credits then rolled with the Lavender Town theme played by a music box going. I turned the game off and gave the game back to Shane. I told him that it was a little creepy, but mostly depressing, and went back home.