Talk:War That Never Ended/@comment-25021327-20141122000203

I see that you mentioned that you are not a native English speaker, so I bear that in mind while commenting on this. Also, if you would like to have native English speakers and writers look through your work, make corrections, and make some things a little clearer, I'm sure someone will be happy to do so. You could ask a user, or just put a not at the opening of the pasta stating that you're okay with it if someone goes through and cleans it up :)

As for the actual story here, it is pretty short and kind of jumpy. I realize that this is probably because you were challenged to write this in a short period of time. that definitely shows in the finished product.

As it is now, it feels a little lacking. Maybe now that you've gotten this speed writing done, you can go back and develop this a bit more at a later time. Other than that, I can't say too much, since there isn't much here in terms of story. I understand the plot, and it seems like it could have some potential, but as it is now, this could use some work.