Talk:Perfection/@comment-25526583-20150823210401

I adore the ammount of potential this creepypasta has, but the execution just wasn't QUITE there, I mean a Snake? It's not a huge deal, but at least describe what the snake is like (without going overboard with details) not to mention how much it feels like it was cut so short towards the end, Joshua had killed his family by burning them down, what a fast way to just say that he snapped and murdered his familly, I would've liked some build up like "he was going on to the path to search for perfection..." and then whatever you would've typed after that, because I feel like it's a wonderful idea that was sort of...cut short at the very end, I'm sorry if it seems like I'm calling you lazy, I don't intend to, but I would enjoy a much more complex more thought out version of this, take your time if you need to, but please improve on this, I'm excited as to what you'll come up with