Goldeneye's Final Mission

Gaming was always a way for me to relieve the stress of mine that I got from school. While most of my teachers was fine I have had two teachers two years in a row that always ruined the day. In 6th grade it was First Hour then Second Hour and now in 7th grade it's 2nd hour and Last Hour. I wish it was still like 6th grade with the hours because now my last hour is always horrible because of the previous hours. She would always give homework at the last 5 minutes of class, or say something then take it back the next day and punish the students who did what she said the first day. So far everything is completely true. It sucks. Trust me.

Well as I said earlier gaming was my relief from the crap I endured at school. Recently I picked up Dungeon Keeper Gold off GOG for 6 bucks. I've really enjoyed it lately however I would always get fed up after a while of realizing the enemies have gems (gems are basically gold (gold is your money) except for you can mine it forever) and while I had been having financial problems because I thought that summoning a Horned Reaper was a good idea, they had been constantly training troops with their infinite money, and when I would attack they would decimate my creatures because I hardly even had level 2 or 3 creatures. Anyway, since Dungeon Keeper wasn't helping with my stress, no matter how much I loved it, I would have to play my Xbox 360. Problem is my bed is a bunk bed, and I have a large mattress so since the TV is so close to my bed, I would have to bend over, which left my back with a horrible ache the next day, which certainly wouldn't help me in Third Hour, Gym. Anyway I had to find an alternative. I tried MineCraft but it wouldn't open because of something to do with Intel not being updated or some bullcrap like that, even though Intel's site kept saying "Your driver is now fully updated!" Well regardless none of this is helping my stress, and I'm already an hour closer to 10:30, which was when I had to go to bed because I have to get up at 6:45 A.M. to get ready for school. I remember liking Fallout 2 alot so I tried that out, however I hadn't played for a long time and I left off at the SPOILERS Enclave Oil Rig which was at the very end of the game, and I had no clue what to do. At that point I had looked at my options.

A) Deal with a sore back or B) Deal with stress

I had obviously not wanted to deal with stress so I decided to play my Xbox 360, however their were no games that had really interested me anymore on it. I already played GTA V to death and I had slit enough throats in Dishonored, and I had done enough everything in Fable 3. I was running out of ideas when I heard a calling from my PS2 in the box under my bed. I immediately kicked the box and plugged in my Wii.

I had quite a few games for the Wii like Super Mario Galaxy, and Super Mario Galaxy 2, and Pikmin, but the real gems were the Gamecube games I had. I could never forget Luigi's Mansion, Super Mario Sunshine, Goldeneye, or Harvest Moon Magical Melody. I had decided to try out each of the games for maximum nostalgia, and on the bad side, maximum back achage. The first one I tried out was Goldeneye. I decided to start on the Hong Kong level because I remember the secret to get the golden gun in the level. Once Dr.No had shot up the building, kill everyone on that floor, go near a burning pillar on fire at the left wall facing away from the giant window, and crouch down go closest to the wall nearest the left of the pillar. You should clip through the pillar and then go through the two other pillars. Once you clip through those at the end of that little hallway should be a dead end. At the left corner of the end of the hallway you can clip through the wall yet again by crouching. You would see black boots and then a cow in a boat. Nearest the cows butt would be a golden gun. Still remembered it. 8 bullets, nonexistent scope you could zoom into, way to fast sensitivity. One hit kill. The gun I oh-so loved. Oddly enough however once I continued in the level, when I saw the next enemies a cutscene engaged. I knew that no cutscene was here but I continued anyway because I was actually pretty intrigued. It was a cutscene of Bond sneaking up on two of Dr.No's soldiers and while the soldiers are talking Bond shot one in the head spraying the other with... blood? I didn't remember blood! Whenever someone died they would just emit blue sparks where they were shot. Anyway, the bullet must have been able to go through the skull of the first soldier because the other soldier had a bullet wound in his head completely level with the first one. Bond inspected the soldiers and found a keycard that was apparently, ahem, "Important to get out of here."

Anyway after the weird Hong Kong experience everything else was normal until I reached the final level. Instead of a volcano lair it was simply labeled, Chamber. Shockingly when I spawned I was in a chamber. Bond was strapped into a chair and buttons came up. It said "Hit A!" so I hit a and nothing happened. I tried mashing a and then it seemed to respond. I was mashing a as hard as I could and finally a knife stabbed Bond's oddly kid-like hand. "Don't struggle James... it will only make it slower for you..." came a quiet voice, sounding like a mother talking to their kid after he scraped his knee, only this was obviously a torturer. "If you keep calm I can shoot you now, but if you don't then... well... how about we don't find out?" came that same voice. I heard a door open but didn't see it so I assumed it was behind the chair. "Enough! Why is he not dead yet? I gave very clear orders." came the voice of Goldfinger. "Yes sir" replied the torturer. "That wasn't a yes or no question! Just kill him!" and then Goldfinger left the room. "Don't worry... this won't hurt a bit. We just want to see how fast this will eat out your insides." came the voice, now sounding like the hiss of a snake. A needle stabbed Bond in the chest and the knife was removed out of his hand. It was clear the blade was massive because the knife had almost cut Bond's hand clean off. "Oh you won't be needing this anymore" came the voice, along with a freshly cleaned cleaver, finishing what the first knife started, and cutting off Bond's hand. Then Bond was lifted from his chair and I finally got to see who the torturer was. It was a bald man whose left eye was completely white. His lip was split and he had a big scar on his cheek. Bond was strapped onto a table and led outside.

At this time I had paused the game and got something to drink. I re-entered my room with a glass of water and found the game controller again. I hit continue and the scene started where I left off. When Bond was outside it was showed that he was on a huge cliff, atleast as deep as the Grand Canyon. The torturer said his final words "Goodbye Bond. Your mission, has been completed. Forever." And with those terrible last words he threw Bond off the cliff. The yellow health bar to the right was quickly degrading over time. After about five seconds he was at about the equivalent to one health, and it stopped degrading. He opened his eyes and saw a giant rock spike right below him, and all I heard was the disgusting noise off his flesh being torn, his bones being broken, and the table he was strapped to being cracked, as the spike went straight through his body. After that a cutscene played it went to the torturer's point of view of the last few seconds of Bond's life. You could hear the screams of Bond before he was impaled and then the voice of the torturer saying, "I guess the virus didn't work. A shame, he would have died a lot less painfully." And then he looked up, staring at me for a second, and then the mission complete screen came up. It showed the kills section and it showed an icon of a target dummy on a spike. I also got five of the "octopus coins" as I always called them. I immediately took the disk out of my Wii snapped it in half, then threw it away. I'm unlucky however, it was the first game that I had played that day.