Talk:A Predator of Sorts/@comment-25021327-20150411142417

Well, this was a pretty interesting story. It went in a slightly different direction than I had anticipated. The pacing here felt pretty brisk to me, but not rushed. The spelling and grammar are in pretty good shape, nothing distracting, and I found the style interesting. The narrative managed to work in the "protagonist is telling the story even though he's dead" issue pretty well. That seems to turn people away sometimes, but I don;t mind it too much.

The section toward the end got a little confusing reading through it the first time. It was the only time that the pasta felt jumpy and disjointed to me. And although I imagine this may have been intentional since it involves the narrator having a dream or vision of sorts, it still felt like it broke the flow a bit to me. The ritual bit at the end almost seemed a little silly, since I felt it was a kind of drastic change from the genuinely upsetting tone of the child abduction setup. But that's a personal gripe.

Anyway, I thought that this was a pretty well executed story. I'm glad I took a little time to give this a read :)