Talk:An Odd Occurrence on the Internet/@comment-25021327-20151114032036

A story I liked very much, and a strong contender for the first Trick-or-Treat Halloween Writing Contest! There were quite a few things I enjoyed about this one. The overall plot is nice and bizarre, to the point of being vaguely unsettling. Knowing that the perpetrators of the crimes in question likely have a reasoning behind what they are doing, but having no real idea what it could be creates a tense feeling.

I really got a kick out of how the "Treats" were used in this one, it was just the creativity I was hoping for in this contest. Using the paralysis/wheelchair combination as a metaphor for being imprisoned was nice, and of course the way that Godzilla and the 'singing troll' were worked in was smart and fun.

One thing that felt a little out of place was how big the event in the story got. The widespread defilement of corpses and cemetaries felt a little over the top to me in parts. In addition to this, we start off with matricide, and then seemingly switch to just murdered mothers (presumably not all killed by their children) which I felt strayed the tone for me. The fact that this event was such a big deal does make the whole thing creepy and frightening, but I guess I would have preferred a smaller scale of it. The shear number of murdered mothers implied felt like a huge amount. That said, I think it still works pretty well.

Though I like the pace of this one, and it is a great short read, I might have liked to see this idea fleshed out a bit more and lengthened. I tend to like more slowly paced stories, and I realize that slowing this one would have significantly changed the tone, which does work. So that's just a personal thing, I think this is still a great short read, and for what it is it doesn;t feel lacking to me.

So yeah, I hope that people take some time to check this one out. It's short and sweet! Another good showing Mr.Mushroom!