Talk:SIN/@comment-5675310-20131221034236

Hmm, there are actually quite a few problems I found with this. Although it's cool that you bolded all the beginning letters so they spell devil in different languages, it also makes everything feel out of place. What I mean is that you might be talking about one subject and then out of nowhere it well just change. Like, "But please don't. No ones watching why should you care? I love you, if you do as I ask you will end your torture. God made me so I am holy." Those last two sentences feel very out of place compared to what you were talking about just a second ago. My advice is to get rid of the whole bolded name thing, even though it is interesting, and just stick to a normal format. Still it was an interesting pasta with quite a few grammatical errors that need fixing.

6.0/10 - Okay.

- Marcus