Talk:I Won't Leave You/@comment-5346853-20130408193137

I read this on the bus, by the way. c: Anyway, your creepypasta. Let's start with the cliches and/or flaws shall we? c:<

The first thing I noticed right off the bat was the language Tyrin used when he was.... Ticked off.... Sorry but I didn't really think if fit in with the characteristics of a friendly and kind Pokemon like Sylveon. Sorry. :c

Now for blood... There WAS blood in here and I'm glad to say it was used properly unlike some OTHER creepypastas. c: There was an appropriate amount of blood used in your creepypasta. Not too much. Not too little. Too much + used in an appropriate manner = NOT going to happen.

I'd like to point out a flaw. You said Lonliness's right eye was missing while in the picture, it's his left eye. Which is it??? o.o Right or left? Also, the story didn't really fit in as a creepypasta since it didn't really scare me or others so I'll just leave it as a fanfiction. Kk? Also, I never got to know what those white things were. ;~;

In general, the story was not scary, but in exchange, was sad. I really loved the dramatic events happening and whatnot. It was really worth the read and I think you really did an amazing job on this one. Although, since I DO rate only creepypastas, I'll ding a mark off the scariness.

Everything else was golden! :D I just also have to mention this... Almost no cliches! I spotted like 2 but I forgot them... :o Also, yay for a Lavender Town-free story!!!!!!!

Overall, I'd give you a booming 9/10 for this one. It made me sad at some parts but not cry. It wasn't scary but nonetheless, a VERY well-done story. I'm glad I could read this awesome and yet, very sad story!

~StarluoAngel