Talk:Newly Single - A HuniePop Creepypasta/@comment-17737991-20150517191848

"From: KevinLR89@Gmail.com"

Gmail. Google mail. Google.

Welp, this story is going to be shit x3

(jk)

Anyway, Erynn's death sounds very brutal, and the details aren't pleasant to think about. If I've got this right though, the wreck happened because Jeffrey was driving. Well, why the fuck did she let him drive if he was shit faced drunk. Can't say I feel that bad for her if she's this stupid .-. And Kevin seems especially butthurt that Jeffrey was passed out the whole time. I'm guessing the alcohol put him into an even deeper sleep than the concussion would have, which makes Kevin's butthurt understandable. Had Jeffrey been sober, he might have been woken up in time for them to survive. But, on the other hand, he could have been unresponsive regardless of the alcohol, meaning Jeffrey had no control over how he got knocked out and how long he slept, making Kevin's fixation on it kind of excessive, imo.

Now, about the pictures. Erynn in a shirt isn't too convincing. Her fat rolls look more like a lumpy shirt to me ^^' But, they do call black slimming for a reason, it's harder to exemplify weight with black. I think instead of having lumps pot rude out, adding more contrasting light and shadows to show fat might have worked better. The hair also has some rough white edges, and so do the arms.

Strangely, when the clothes come off, her fat looks much more convincing and realistic. I'm inclined to suggest you take the clothes-less picture, then use her torso as a guide on where to put the light and shadows on the shirt, as well as where the fat lumps on the sides should go. About that picture though, you left an ellipses on her leg xD http://gyazo.com/44ee8f4a16fc1418d2f604978ba4d454

As for the dead pictures of her as an anime chick, they're really good. The bruises and veins look great, and I like that the blood is dark, since she's supposed to have been dead for a while. My one nitpick is that in the second one, her lips look blue/white. While I guess lips would pale in death, being that as an anime chick her mouth is just a line, it's jarring that actual lips are suddenly visible. The photoshop of the real picture is not as good as your anime ones, imo ^^' The veins aren't convincing… I think perhaps there's too many, and they're too visible. The visibility should go in and out, as some parts of the veins would be deeper in her skin than others, and thus, harder to see. The smaller veins are less visible, but what I mean is, the visibility of the larger veins should be less consistent than they currently are. Idk, it looks more like someone drew on her neck with pen than veins .-. The gash is so hard to make out, I'd have mistaken it for hair or something. Speaking of, part of the gash appears to go over her hair .-. Lastly, her eyes don't look bruised so much as she looks eyeless. The corruption effect is neat though, and I really like the corrupted gif earlier.

I don't mean to be hard on your pictures, they're more than serviceable for a creepy pasta, and like I said, the anime pictures of almost-naked Erynn are done well ^^'

Nitpicks:

"western looking anime girls" Western looking anime is an oxymoron, isn't it? .-.

Typo:

"then play some ore Huniepop"

Also, "By the time it came to hold hands and recite the Lord's Prayer at the end of the AA meeting", do they really do that at AA meetings? Wow, how nice. "Yea, I know you're recovering from an addiction and need emotional support, but instead we're going to just assume you're religious and disregard what your actual beliefs may be. Forcing ours onto you is far more important than providing you with support from sources you actually believe in. Lord's prayer. Now :|" Yes, I'm this upset at one minor sentence not even relevant to the story .-. Maybe it's comforting to people who believe in that, but it's extremely insensitive and unsupportive to everyone else, which means it fails as a support group in that regard.

Lastly, Kevin is a sick dick. None of them are in the right, imo. Jeffrey is a drunk, Erynn let a drunk drive her, and Kevin made a morbid mod with his dead lover in it because he thinks Jeffrey needs the message to reach him through a game. Because, you know, how dare he play video games when his wife, allegedly, believed that's how marriages are supposed to work and assumably didn't do much to express dissatisfaction. Then there's the whole affair business, bleh. I guess to these people, talking it out just makes too much sense. But I guess that's evident when Kevin is the type to purposefully throw his dead lover and her god damned FETUS in a video game.