Claustrophobic

'''DISCLAIMER: Before the Creepypasta commences, it makes mention of Religious themes. However, there is no criticism of any religion and is not made to offend anyone. This inclusion was included to show the character's mental breakdown and delusion, alongside his pathetic nature. Sorry if I offended anyone.'''

Space: a deep vastness of darkness spanning an infinite distance.

Space: a continuous area or expanse which is free, available, or unoccupied.

Space: position (two or more items) at a distance from one another.

Once in space, time is almost forgotten. There is no routine, no ritual and, especially, no lapse of time between two points (Night and day). Therefore, there may be no order. It became abundantly clear at the point in time, whether it be day or night, my crew completely disappeared. As such, they took my specific conception of time away from personal focus. Now, I wasn't focused on the time until bed time, food or any ritual categorized in this, rather the time I had left until my oxygen is depleted, food or water; the time until the weakened hull is breached (fatally) or systems affected. During the period I was out cold, the crew which once tread the hall I contemplate suicide in, the ship mystically lost all the escape pods and, with it, 90% of the ship's fuel. In turn, I have VERY limited use of the thrusters. Alongside that, all but one of the power generators are kaput. These small fusion reactors require a tiny amount of water and a lot of heat. The heat produces a plasma field and water creates the main bulk of the energy. As I said, water is finite on the ship, retaining very little hydrogen within it (we keep tonnes of surplus hydrogen power supplies in case of a situation such as this. Unfortunately, most of them exploded in the bout). Next to that, I am far from an inhibited planet, and am probably drifting from the closest star. The last exo planet the ship surpassed currently accommodates his friends until the distress beacon is answered. Communications on the ship are another deal, containing approximately three communications hardware atop the ship, which were also damaged beyond repair during the attempt on our lives. There is enough resources to keep life support, for a singular person, to last about an Earth month and very little food/water left. How exactly I will measure the time passing, I have no idea. Currently, I'm cooped up in the bridge, personal quarters and kitchen. There's absolutely no access to the storage, part of which exploded with the Hydrogen cells, or engine rooms, fusion reactors, pantry, cryo-chamber rooms and other important sections of the ship, due to detritus. This isn't good, I have no access to the main bulk of food supplies, despite it almost being in reach; neither can I enter the cryogenic chambers and preserve my body. It doesn't matter anyway, I can't even reach the supplier of power to restock it every now and then. At the same time, it's probably a blessing, those compact, processed meals aren't exactly the best.

Unknown Amount of Days Left

Whelp, I have a lot on my mind to entertain the thought of suicide. No hope, whatsoever. Each day, I used to either stare at the photo of my wife/child or talk on the intercoms. Now, I dare merely glance at it. It only reminds me of what waits for me back at the place I'll never return to. Maybe it's a stretch of the truth, they may find my frozen corpse and the ship in the deep of space. Damn, I'm beginning to feel so claustrophobic. An irony considering the vastness around me and which I came to explore. I've always been adventurous since my days playing 'pirate' at the lake to my recent graduation as an ardent adolescent. Fuck, I can't die, not now, not ever! I'm only 20 years of age, best in the class, quickly ushered out of college due to my genius! Now I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere where no one will ever hear of my ingenuity? I was supposed to be the Indiana Jones of deep space! I can't go now, I have way too much to live for! Family back at Earth and an overly astonishing IQ! All that work for nothing? That 105% overall mark for nothing? Why me?

Unknown Amount of Days Left

Right...I've calmed down now. I've got my watch working, therefore, according to some extempore and probably erroneous calculations, I have about 28 days left. I know, it seems a bit of a cliche considering the film of the same name. Fuck man, I'm still riled up way too much. My incapability to suppress it has led to me fucking up the ship and possibly compromising it's atmosphere. That would be fatal. Despite what I may say, there's still a chance. I've raided my crew member's rooms and, oh my god are they absolute pieces of shit. There are pretentious and egocentric diaries/journals, alongside porn magazines complete with sticky pages. I'm not the most ascetic person ever, but, in comparison to these people, I'm a saint. Journals filled with 'me, me, me', not a thought to anyone else. After ripping everything up, I thought about how shitty these people are! God, I'd bargain anything to be in their position right now! The universe would be better off too! FUCKING ASSHOLES!

27 Days Left

Okay, I'm calm again. That rant was completely irrelevant and unmerited. I'm the egotist for protesting against nothing. This entire log is 'me, me, me'. Still, what I would give to be in their situation. If those pirates hadn't plundered us, shot me and taken what the crew didn't I could still have a chance to reach my family again. Damn, I haven't even seen my daughter in person yet and still miss her. Everyday, one ritual I have materialized is to watch a video of me and my wife. Luckily, I secretly requisitioned from my wife the day I left. It is the penultimate reason I haven't decided to take my life, which I would give for them to know I love them. The main being to finally go home and tell Dad I love him. That's if I ever find him.

24 Days Left

Instead of self-preservation, rationing or anything, I'm living life to the max. I'm no Bear Grylls, drink my own piss or anything. Currently, I'm digging into chocolates my wife gave to me. I'm going to run out of life support before I run out of food, no matter what. Everyday, I star gaze to the intimate stars, a mere 5 meters or less away from me. I think I may also see a shooting star in there too? Isn't that impossible? It's ironic that the walls that keep me safe, kill me inside.

21 Days Left

After many brutal attempts at science, I have resorted to faith. The thrusters are, officially, out of juice. After propelling myself, I surmise, backwards, fuel is depleted. Although, power was diminishing with the damaged, and useless, inertia dampeners, being wasted completely. Now, everything but the life support remains off. My restoration in terms of science has proved fruitless and faith is the only way out. Henceforth, I am a man of god.

18 Days Left

After months of praying, my fealty to God is soon to be completed. At the latter part of today, my first sacrifice to the Lord will commence, as my now answered prayers are a poignant prompt to my sinful past as a scientific expert. Although there is no bible, I neither need not want it. Our relationship is intimate and doesn't transpire through a set of pages bound together. Whatever may happen next is in the Lord's hand, as was everything else, and he has great things in store for me. It was the other day that I dispersed of that scientific abomination of a timekeeper, hence I will no longer be personally tracking time via scientific creations/monstrosities. That will be all for today.

14 Days Left

Last night was truly an enlightening experience. My first sacrifice was fantastic. After cutting the head off of a live chicken I found, aimlessly wandering the bridge. He suffered a good fate at my hand. After severing it's head, it continues to wander, however my bond to the father has increased by massive proportions. We are no longer asunder, rather in accord. The god's blessing of God will provide a gift. Not the gift of life or survival, rather, the gift of peace. My personal ties to any other person is in a state of dilapidation, my main goal, to serve God.

11 Days Left

When I rose from rest today, to break my fast, feelings of depression over encumbered me. After realising there wasn't a live thing in site to sacrifice, I concluded there may be one more thing. Myself. After years of taking from my lord, being a piece of shit, there ended up being a light at the end of this dark peridition. God. Now, I will repay him with the utmost respect he has given me. Tonight, I will take my life. The sun should be setting on this craft soon, then I will take the knife and carve a knew life...a life beside the Lord.

10 Days Left

FUCK! I've been mislead! God wasn't the one whom I spoke to, it was the Devil himself! Playing under false pretenses, destroying my mind! WHY? Why does such a deviant, disobedient creature exist? Am I really of such a weak will that this should happen to me? Why? WHY ME? I'm not the one your after, just leave! STOP TORMENTING ME!

9 Days Left

No! Stay away! You cannot touch me! I am shielded by my faith and evangelism to God! If there were people here to which I could utter the words of wisdom, then I would be declared a prophet. FUCK OFF! Please, please, please leave me alone! LALALALALALA I CANNOT HEAR YOU! GO AWAY! I rebuke you! THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN ON ME! STOP! DON'T YOU DARE! NO, NO, NOOO! AH HAH HUH! Please stop...

8 Days Left

Okay, it's cool, I can cauterize it. 3. 2. 1. Go. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

7 Days Left

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey

You never know, dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping

I dreamt I held you in my arms

When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken

So I hung my head, and I cried

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey

You never know, dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy

If you will only say the same

But if you leave me to love another,

You'll regret it all one day

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey

You never know, dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

Please don't take my sunshine away

5 Days Left

Well, this is it. I'm done for this time. God has abandoned me, the Devil has plagued my mind and, well, what he left me with has severly injured my chances of escape. Why is it always dark in space? After all this I'm just going to end it. But seriously, why is it always dark? However, I've decided, for 'nostalgia' reasons, to record this final one. To my family, I dedicate this. I'm sorry for not being there. Rather, I'm sorry for being this self centered, emotional wreck of a man who just sits here and does nothing with his life. To my crew, I'm sorry I looked through your private stuff and was prejudice against you. To myself, I'm sorry I never believed in you. To the distributor of this spacecraft, I'm sorry I couldn't maintain it. This is the Captain signing out.

2 Days Left

The rest of the crew arrived here today, at 6:00 am (Earth Time) and were lead to nothing. All they found in the ship was a half broken empty mess, that was still functional for around 4 days, minus the boosters. Although everything else seemed in check, there was a problem where more Carbon Dioxide was distributed than that of the air. This could be attributed to a blunder where a user increases the CO2 in the atmosphere on accident. However, it wasn't so much the technical they were bothered with, rather their crew member. Upon arrival, one of the first things they saw was the kitchen, which had a stream of blood, flowing to the other room. On the chopping board sat a singular toe. Once entering the bridge, a hand sat on it's palm atop a work desk, viscous blood dripping from the top, which once connected to the arm. After a thorough search of the ship (the parts which were accessible, in the very least) they found nothing. Futile. When we checked the ship's diagnostics, it appears the airlock was used once, 3 days ago, and one body signature was picked up inside of it. The crew recovered the files and left, without saying a word.

~