Talk:The Ice-Cream Man/@comment-5025667-20130827153914

There were some grammar issues and some confusing things in the narrative (at times, there is a lot of information that seemed to be tacked on, if you will, without any prior word or build-up. All of a sudden Joe's parents beat him now? And the narrator just knows this? Okay...) that made it a bit confusing to read, but as for the plot and premise it was interesting. I'm sure that the concept of a ice cream man as the plot-point has been done quite a lot but one thing I like is how realistic these characters acted, and just how late the speaker was to getting to his friend's house. In conclusion, for a debut pasta it was decent. A bit flawed with lack of build-up and errors in grammar that does make it look like your first pasta, but it was not bad for a first attempt. I'd say a 6.5/10 or so.