Talk:Sweet May/@comment-25625305-20150212010226

This poképasta wasn't about some evil Pokémon haunting the player! Congrats to you! However, there are a few issues with this. The grammar and capitalization was a bit iffy, but nothing too bad (I went and fixed most of it for your convenience), the story did have a few clechés, but they're passable considering the protagonist appears to be a little loopy by the end of the story, but I think the biggest problem with this is... It's not very scary. I feel the story was going for a steady drop into madness, but it didn't really delve deep enough into the interaction between the protagonist and May, which made the climax seem to happen too fast, causing it to not hit as hard as it was intended. I do think this is pretty good for a first.