Talk:Slender - The 9th Page/@comment-28348041-20160508185751

It's a too short to build suspense, makes little narrative sense, and is very difficult to visualise. A Slenderman story thrives when you use the isolation of the situation to effect, yet this reads more like a action story, which isn't what Slenderman is designed for. Start over, and try to take a more passive approach in the narrative. Good luck :)