Talk:Self-Improvement Network/@comment-7706473-20130721090012

So long as it isn't a Home Improvement network, we should be safe!

I liked this piece a lot, especially the acts before the end. Anyone who knows anyone who has bought into these pyramid schemes can empathize with dealing with them... And in the off-chance they actually work, a sense of vague curiousity and disturbance at the drastic changes others may go through.

As someone who instinctively distrusts ambitious people, it isn't hard for me to imagine that behind the scenes, there is something deeply unpleasant going down. There were a lot of little imagery choices that really reinforced this; one thing I liked especially was that even the membership of Elias's little pep group had been dropping. Even the marketeers grew desperate.

I do feel the 'suddenly, human sacrifice bit' might have been a bit fast, though it was a good scene for introducing how desperate the inner cult members were - though I must thank you for giving me an interesting and rather unrelated idea. As for the ending - it was both a bit cheesy, and simultaneously an awesome twist on the reader and their expectations. I think both worked together perfectly, creating a strange sense of accomplishment just for reading a story. Not bad at all!

A question - was Elias using sexually charged terms just a gag, a nod to the interplay of sex and death, or just a way to make him especially creepy? I liked that it wasn't really brought up, but felt pointing it out might have cheapened the message a bit if you were ging for the second or third option... Though it was also realistic for the narrator to note, so no harm done. : )