Talk:Cartridges/@comment-25021327-20140619142123

Steel has some very valid points. I think you've got something here that could be expanded on, and cleaned up, In it's current form, it feels a bit disjointed. Perhaps you were going for a very ambiguous feel, but the pasta feels like a string of unrelated, odd events.

Why does the narrator associate the atari game with the news report? The mother and son both saw the same impossible news report, right? Was it really broadcast? Did others see these people killed in a live news report? How did the older, more rational mother react to this? Is any of this actually happening or is it in the narrator's head? How do these events relate to game cartridges?

I don't want to come across like I'm just bashing this story, and I apologize if my critique seems harsh. But I feel like if you reworked this tale, strengthened the themes, expanded, and lengthened the story, and found a connecting thread to link all these strange events together, you might have something pretty enjoyable here.