Talk:Cookie/@comment-8470110-20130918025904

2/10

Someone let the clichés out of their barn and it looks like they rampaged through your pasta. The 'deviantART' concept seemed promising, as no one that I know of has done a pasta with that premise. However, I was extremely let down by the rest of the story. There were so many clichés that took me out of the experience, like the computer not turning off, empty eye sockets, etc. The ending was very unsatisfying as well. There was potential for this concept, but it was a poor job. For your next pastas, I recommend reducing the number of clichés, adding depth to the characters, having some build-up and creating a satisfying ending.

-Sshakenbakee