Talk:Pokemon Oblivion/@comment-25553837-20141120200808/@comment-25021327-20141120202322

Well it's kind of short, and feels a little underdeveloped. I think the story could benefit from some more detail, slower and more even pacing, and maybe some tweaking of the ending.The spelling and grammar, format and clarity aren't too bad.

I think the setup has some potential, the guys who want to meld all their favorite elements into a new Pokémon game. But then it sort of just falls into typical haunted game territory. Weird stuff happened with no realy explanation. If these guys made the game, they should be more aware of what is happening in it. They would most likely have been testing it throughout the whole project, but it seems that the events in the game are totally unexpected.

Also, the ending is very abrupt and kind of silly. The game shouts a bunch of binary (which I didn't feel compelled to try and translate) and then the DS explodes, that's not really as scary for me as it is confusing. Then we're told that "it was all a dream" which is one of the biggest cop out endings a story can have. What part of the story was a dream? All of it? Were they even making a game for 2 months?

I hope that this critique isn't too harsh or discouraging, but I feel that some of the reasons I stated may be why this got a Needs Work added to it.