Talk:The Creature Within My Games/@comment-25021327-20150102024209

When I clicked "The Creature Withing my Games" I was certainly not expecting a story like this! I think the concept here is nice, it feels pretty fresh, and like something that could definitely be expanded upon a little as well.

I agree with a lot of what Babylon said about the story feeling sparse, or lacking. But that may be partly since I think it's a neat concept and would personally like to have seen a bit of a longer, slower paced pasta with it.

While I was reading this, I was wondering if this creature was indeed a siren, and actually pleasantly surprised to see that it was. It's nice when a story can effectively incorporate pre-existing lore without it feeling forced. And I kind of like also, how we aren;t really given any information. We have no idea how or why this Siren came to be digitized and sent into a video game, (Somehow the fact that much of this occurs in a Madden game gives the story a lighter, comic feel at times, which, at least for me, worked)

So I won;t go on and echo too much of what Babylon said. I would have really liked to have seen this story expanded upon and given a little more meat, (though sometimes that is a deterrent to potential readers) but as it is, it's short and still fairly engaging. I'm pleased to have found this :)