Talk:Jack in a box/@comment-26194190-20160513014829

I'm not going to be very harsh with this review because it seems to me that English isn't your first language, and it isn't mine either. I've been in your place. The concept of the story very original, and it isn't something that I have heard of before. Kinda reminds me of the Russian Sleep Experiment to be honest, and that's considered to be one of the best creepypastas around. Your paragraphs have a bit of a formatting issue, but I can fix that for you. The story also needs to be expanded as well. It ends too quickly, leaving your reader trying to figure out what they just read rather than being creeped out. If you want, I can help you expand the story; with your permission of course. If I had to give this story a rating, I would give it about a 2.5/10. The original plot is what's really important to this story. Also, it's your first creepypasta, so I can really be too harsh.