Talk:Carol/@comment-25021327-20141109020232

This was actually one of the first pastas I read when I signed up here, but I didn't feel qualified to comment XD

Upon a second reading, I still quite enjoyed it. The pacing jumps a bit, but for the most part keeps to a steady upward bell curve. The descriptions were good, and the Carol doodle was a nice touch. The Characters were pretty relatable, It seemed odd to me at first that the preteen children seemed to be okay with having an invisible friend, but thinking about it, if you grew up in an environment where that was normal, it wouldn't seem odd to you.

I liked the Marcus character, both in the story and in the Epilogue. I have a tendency to like when things are left vague, and up to the reader to figure out, and the motives of Marcus and Carol in the epilogue felt kind of cheesey to me. Sort of a combination of killing kids to feed on them, but mixed with killing kids just because they are evil.

Format and clarity are all good, and the dialogue is formatted nicely. The style is nice too, pretty concise and relatable. When I first read this, I didn't know anyone here, so the name dropping was lost on me, but now I was able to pick it up.

There were a few typos I noticed, but I think this page is protected, so I couldn't fix them. But they aren't bad, and I barely noticed them.

So, like I said, I enjoyed this one then and now.