Talk:PokeRed/@comment-25625305-20170710062730

I assume this was your first pasta? I say that because this story is a literal cliché sandwich and has many grammar mistakes. (that, and it actually reminds me a lot of my first pastas...)

... I'll describe what I mean by "cliché sandwich": The story starts with Narrator finding a Pokemon game at an old man's yard sale, then when the narrator tries playing the game, it's all weird and stuff (not really much of a cliché though), Trainer red has apparently gone mad and has glitches Pokemon, he kills people with said Pokemon, says a one liner "I'll be the very best", Narrator smashes game, then goes insane.

All of those things listed (expect for the game being weird) are extremely overused clichés. Sure, they're used a lot by many MANY Pokemon creepypastas, but that doesn't mean they are good.

So in conclusion... This story isn't very good. I guess the best thing I can say is that you know how to structure a story (which is good), but aside from that, the bland overdone clichés and bad grammar do this story in. But I don't think your totally incapable of writing something better. In fact, I'd say give it another shot!

Just... Doing the same thing that every other Pokemon creepypasta does is probably something you want to avoid next time.