Talk:The Zoo Tycoon 2 Disc/@comment-6794436-20150519022712

Alright, my first review back and what great pasta do I have her- Shit...

Good: Well, there really is not much good to say here. Sure, this isn't a wall of text, but the paragraphs are too long in some placesm and it does have decent length.

Bad: Oh boy, where do I begin? Well, the grammar in this piece is atrocious, with some run on sentences, numerous sentences that are too short, and unwarranted tense changes. The pasta itself isn't really creepy, and is actually more funny than anything. There are a few cliches that are annoying such as the game being sold at a low price, so that really isn't helping anyways. The plot of this pasta is quite bad, albeit unique, and it really just seemed like an overly ambitious attempt by a novice creepypasta writer. This pasta could've worked, but it would've been pretty hard to execute, and likely wouldn't have had that great of a payoff even in the hands of an experienced pasta writer.

Verdict: 2.5/10- This pasta was really bad in just about every way. However, because it isn't a wall of text and it seems as though some semblence of effort was put in, this gets the score it got. For a first pasta, I've seen worse, but I've certainly seen better. (Also, don't think that me noticing this was your first pasta swayed my decision in any way, I just thought I'd let you know that.) I'd definitely recommend that you read the New Writer Guidelines, both because this was a terrible attempt at a creepypasta, and because you are a new writer. Those guidelines will definitely aid you in all of your future writing endeavors.

-Incorrect3