Talk:Laura/@comment-25021327-20150119152335

I think I read this one awhile ago, but I just reread it and I've decided to comment. I liked the story, and felt it was well executed. The plot is a bit of a possesion, or deal-with-the-Devil type story with a bit of a twist.

Although the main protagonist is a fairly familiar "Carrie-esque" bullied, and underprivelaged type person, I didn't really feel like I was being made t feel badly for her, which I liked. Any emotions I got for Constance felt fairly organic.

The pacing here is good and consistent, and by the climax I was zipping through. The only complaint I would have in this respect would be regarding how the narrative switches kind of abruptly toward the ending. I'm not sure how this switch could have been done more smoothly, but it felt a bit jarring.

The The descriptions wer pretty good here, and I was able to envision what was going on. The added videos are a nice touch as well. Spelling, grammar and clarity are all in good shape.

One thing I liked was that how ther ewas a bit of a role reversal, making Laura the sympathetic character at the end. I felt that that coupled with the fact that Constance had pretty much lost control and self will made the characters more dynamic and interesting. Constance never really tried to make the deal with the devil, she was preyed upon and taken advantage of, and by the time she realized, it was becoming too late.

The working in of the video game system felt pretty natural, and not shoe-horned in. In all I'd say that this is a pretty creative piece and I'm glad I read it.