Talk:Dark Emotions/@comment-17737991-20131219030921

First, a nitpick "I lay in my cold bed". Why would a bed be cold? Matresses aren't particularly heat-repelling. Unless you mean cold as in unwelcoming or something?

Anyway, this isn't bad. It needs more context though, like I love scary stories said "I just wish you explained more why he feels this way."

The "friends" were explained thoroughly enough, they take advantage of the protagonist. But other things, like family relations, could be explained more. He says he causes his family trouble, but beyond obnoxious laughing and guitar playing though, we're not told how he's troublesome.

And the girl he remembers at the end was pretty sudden. Maybe you could foreshadow her in some way?

Well, as I said, not bad. Emotional and effective! More context would be nice though :P