Talk:Dover Demon/@comment-17737991-20141217010845

As mentioned before, there's a few grammar issues. The numbers especially bother me, as numbers 1-10 should be spelled out, like "two" instead of "2". There's nothing too bad though. Anyway, I have a few questions about the story.

Why was Luke so willing to go look for the demon again as soon as he woke up, after getting left behind, spending hours lost in the woods, and struggling with asthma? I can understand wanting to give it a second shot for revenge or confirmation or something, but how quickly he suggested they try again seemed strange to me. Especially considering that he was sore and not in a very good physical condition to run around the woods again.

Lucas later says "Don't tell anyone else or the government will be on your ass", and he turns out to be correct. But, when he first says that, nothing had happened yet to indicate the government was trying to cover up the dover demon, so that statement kind of comes out of nowhere. It's especially wierd that he'd publicly post the names of he and his friends if he thinks that'd endanger them all.

Speaking of, what is wrong with Jonathan? "The government is obviously killing anyone associated with the dover demon. I'm going to post about how I know of the dover demon and that the government killed my dad and his friends... did I mention that people with such knowledge get killed? Right, better use my real name and make no effort to hide my IP or anything. While I'm painting a target on my head, I'll go ahead and mention Joseph to paint a target on his head too!"

I'm sorry for nitpicking this stuff, I do this to almost every story ^^' Anyway, I like the atmosphere and setting. It was creepy at times, especially when he was lost in the woods. The government parts however, seemed a bit random. It builds up to the ending nicely, but there's not really much build up to the government's involvement.

Oh, and I also like the pictures, the first sketch was pretty tame. It's just what others have seen, a mere possibility at this point, and there's no colour detail. But then comes the actual photograph, we know it exists for sure now, and those scary ass eyes definetly slap you with a "Shit just got real". Well, for me at least :b