Mario's Parents Theory

Ever wonder why Pauline just suddenly dissapeared from the Mario series? Ever wonder why Cranky Kong is elderly, but just as youthful as Mario in the arcade game? Ever wonder how Mario suddenly became a plumber instead of a carpenter? Ever wonder how in Partners in Time, Baby Mario is at Baby Peach's castle, but in Donkey Kong, he doesn't even know her? I've got the answers right here! I though about this thoroughly, and I'm sure this is correct!

Mario? More like Mario Jr.!
Just think about it! Why do all of these things happen? I shall tell you the story right here!

One day, Mario was tending to his monkey, Donkey Kong (the one that is Cranky Kong), when it suddenly goes wild, and kidnaps his girlfriend Pauline! It climbed to the top of the skyscraper Mario was building, and in a rage, Mario climbs up after Donkey Kong! Mario defeats Donkey Kong, and after Donkey Kong goes missing, finds him and puts him back in a cage!

Pauline is grateful to Mario, and they fall in love. It takes a while before Mario professes his love to her, and starts dating her, eventually marrying her.

The two decide to have two children, and ask the Baby Deliverer to bring them two babies. Mario gives the stork his carpenter's hat, and tells him to give it to the older baby. Mario then gives him his brother's cap, and tells the stork to give it to the younger baby.

Of course, by now, you are probably starting to figure it out. Yoshi's Island happens, and the older brother meets Bowser, before rescuing his brother, and being delivered to Mario.

Pauline thinks it would be cute to name the baby with the red M cap after Mario, (thus dubbing the baby Mario Jr.), and thinks that the younger brother should have a name that starts with L, and comes up with Luigi.

Of course, they meet the young princess, defeat the shroobs, etc.

When Mario Jr. and Luigi get older, they are already recognized as heroes for defeating the shroobs. They decide to lay low from all of the fame they are recieving, and work as plumbers. Both of them find that they don't like the job, but decide to keep the uniforms. This gives them experience with pipes, and they invent a system of warp pipes, which becomes internationally famous, even in Bowser's kingdom.

Eventually, Pauline gets sick, and Mario Jr. tries to find the cure. He gets a job as a doctor, and looks for the cure. Unfortunately, she dies, and he goes back to being a plumber with Luigi. Mario Sr. tends to stay home because of depression.

One day, they hear about the kidnapping of their friend Peach. Mario Jr. and Luigi decide to go rescue her out of the kindness of their hearts. They rescue her, and she is extremely grateful. Unfortunately, as they start heading back, Bowser kidnaps her again, and they go to rescue her. When they do, she is so glad, she gives Mario a "friend kiss".

Mario is so happy he falls asleep, and goes into such a deep sleep, he enters Subcon, and saves the day. He wakes up, thinking it was a dream, and goes back to sleep.

Mario's adventure gained such popularity, that demands for a play that was similar to his adventure were high. He created a play (Super Mario Bros. 3) and gained ultimate fame.

Using their money from the play, Mario and Luigi decide to take Peach on a vacation to Dinosaur Land. Bowser, still upset about his attempt to kidnap her going wrong, and being humiliated on stage, hears about this, and goes to try and kidnap Peach again. He also finds out that his generals were a part of the play (the Koopa Kids), and as punishment for making his kingdom look weak, sets them out to stop Mario in his path. Of course, our hero saves the day, and Peach sees him in a more romantic way. They go into a true relationship, and every other game since that happens.

Explanation about Donkey Kong Jr.
Think about this. Isn't it obvious? Donkey Kong in Donkey Kong Country was Donkey Kong Jr. and went to rescue his dad. Donkey Kong (I'll just call him Cranky from now on) had a child with an ape at the zoo. Mario captures Cranky at the zoo, and Donkey Kong goes to rescue him after being seperated from his dad. The two apes then try to kidnap Pauline as a team, and ultimately fail. They then go to Kong Island, where Cranky is from.

Reviews
Let me know if you found any flaws in this theory, and if there are any additional details that needed to be added!