Talk:Lost Soul/@comment-11079349-20131226172856/@comment-11079349-20131228190819

As I said, harsh is how I am. If I had known Cya had written it, i might have toned it down a bit, but I had no indication of that. And I went a bit too far in how harsh i was with the "it might make you cry" comment, but it's what I honestly thought.

Now, as for the improvements, it seems to have a little more atmosphere now, albeit slight. The woman at the end didnt appear, and the story seems to have a worthwhile story behind it, although it needs to be lengthened to explain more of the protagonists internal feelings. this is now around a 2/10 with the corrections that have been made.

However, there are still a few puntuation errors that need correcting, such as                  "the young the old, the rich, the poor". there needs to be one more comma. As I said before, this can still be made into something great. That's what I like about Cya, he has great potential in the ideas for his stories, he just needs to work on writing them better.