Talk:DON'T SHATTER!/@comment-6794436-20150131004039

Hmm... well this is a bit better and certainly more intriuging... still to short though...

Good: This pasta is a huge improvement from the original in a few ways. For one thing, the story is much less dull and bland, and it also brings up an intriuging idea. I was left wondering how this story was going to go, and it made me want to continue reading. Overall this was just a pretty good idea.

Bad: Remember how I said this was a good idea? Well, you executed the idea terribly. The pasta became a bit hard to read at times and I couldn't tell which direction you were bringing the pasta or what it was really about. It also once again isn't really creepy and it is still way too short. On a final note, this pasta also really becomes laughable at the point where you start describing "The Shatter", who really isn't creepy at all and is more humerous than anything.

Verdict: 4.5/10- This is a huge improvement from the original, but it still is quite bad.

-Incorrect3