Talk:Pokemon Fog Gray/@comment-28195971-20160506000945

Nice story but the grammar was really bad (so I fixed it), and the parts of the story that were supposed to sound creepy didn't have that much of a creepy atmosphere to me. That's just my opinion, though.

Also, you don't mention how the music wasn't playing until in the middle of the story, making it sound like you just added it in so you could have the story turn one way. Just a suggestion, but I think you should mention there is no music ealier in the story (i.e., just after you finish the whole Proffesor Rowan deal).