Talk:A Pizza Delivery/@comment-25021327-20150727001200

26-July-2015- I'm going to add a needs Work category here. This story isn't too bad, I've seen many worse first pastas. But there are some issues that could use a little attention. This could use a little proofreading to work out a few grammar issues as well as some issues I noted with the tense changing from past to present a few times.

As for the story, the delivery-boy-sees-something-weird plot has been done before, but it can still be a pretty fun thing to read about. The satanic imagery is a little silly here, and it seems a little odd that someone would set up a delicate ritual, then order some pizzas. I imagine the guy was counting on the delivery boy showing up so he could... I dunno, use him in a ritual, or just be evil and kill him. Not terrible, ust a little silly.

So if some of these issues are dealt with this one can probably get marked 'fixed' and stay around. As this is a Needs Work story, it will face deletion in about 9 days if it has not been deemed adequately imprved following another review.