Talk:Pokemon Fog Gray/@comment-26480939-20171212222449

One nitpick I have with this story is referring to a game card as a 'cartridge'. Cartridges and game cards are not the same thing. I suggest correcting any mention of 'cartridge' to 'game card' instead.

Another nitpick is that your player character is not usually able to use Fly outside of battle from the start; you need the Cobble Badge in Sinnoh to use it outside of battle. Now, this is clearly a hacked game here, but even so, there would have to be some major coding changes to make any HM moves usable at any time without needing Badges for them.

Other than those, I only see some minor spellng issues and grammar mistakes, but otherwise, a passable Poképasta.