Kirby's Deadland II

Looking back at how much tomato sauce was thrown at me when I played the now corrupted "Kirby's Return to Dreamland," I facepalmed and realized how much of a wuss I was and how easily scared I was of that incident.

I told myself I never wanted to play Kirby games ever again, but I couldn't help but scrounge around for my all-time favorite game for the Game Boy Advance: "Kirby and the Amazing Mirror." After some time turning my house upside down and sideways, slantways, longways and any other ways I could think of, I found the cartridge in my room, sitting just out of sight. "Wow...I'm such a moron," I thought to myself.

I picked up the cartridge and inspected it. It looked a little aged, as the colors on the sticker seemed to have faded a little. I shrugged it off, and then looked for my Game Boy Advance. 7 minutes later, I snapped the cartridge into the Game Boy, but dropped it suddenly, as sparks belched out from the power switch, headphone jack, and volume controller.

30 seconds afterward, I picked up my Game Boy. I switched it on. The Game Boy/Nintendo logo made it's normal animation. Then the Nintendo/Flagship appeared. Kirby still tripped and fell over, then all the enemies from the game ran over him. In the midst of the mayhem onscreen, I thought I heard some bones crack when Giant Rocky squashed Kirby. When the blitz ended, Kirby didn't move for about 10 seconds. When he pulled himself off the ground, his face ripped off and stuck to the ground, and I saw a comical, yet slightly creepy, Kirby skull where his face used to be. It resembled a human skull, but it wasn't exactly frightening. It was unexpected, though.

I found myself at the save file screen, but there was no music. All four Kirbys were doing their random animations. I selected the first file (100% complete; go me!), and watched the four Kirby's jump on the Warp Star.

I was in the hub world of the Mirror World, but the music had been replaced with howling winds and the pipe organ from Disneyland's Haunted Mansion. The frame around the big mirror had been rusted and broken in several places. I decided to see what each land looked like out of curiosity. However, all 9 worlds, from Carrot Castle to Candy Constellation, everything looked normal. The enemies I usually killed (not Giant Rocky's, Waddle Dee's or other enemies that didn't attack or stalk me, but those like Bronto Burt's, Heavy Knights and Flamers) seemed furious when I approached them. They even became extremely irate the moment they died. That changed when I battled Master and Crazy Hand, the dual boss of Candy Constellation.

What was odd was that Master Hand didn't attack me and Crazy Hand seemed more crazy than usual. He twitched violently, with the sound of bones cracking. Eventually, Master Hand and I defeated Crazy Hand. As I beat the crap out of him, the cloth of Crazy Hand began to rip and stain with sweat. When we delivered the final blow, the cloth exploded off Crazy Hand, revealing a skeleton hand, which fell to the ground writhing.

Master Hand and Kirby danced to the traditional victory music. Then I was thrown into the Dark Mind boss with the Sword Copy Ability. When he appeared, I heard soft, distant screaming. I then proceeded to battle Dark Mind. Every time I sliced him, a little bit of pixelated blood flew out of his core. This repeated every time I defeated him, but when I landed the final blow, a "blood cannon" enveloped Kirby. Dark Mind violently bled out and fell apart. When the red water left the screen, Kirby turned to me, and gave a "dafuq happened?!" look. I gave that same look back.

I then warped to the bridge where I was to fight Dark Mind again. This time, it was the "sun with a vagina-hole" form. Shadow Kirby tossed the Master Sword towards me; I picked it up, then proceeded to beat the shit out of Dark Mind. I landed another final blow, and Dark Mind shed its sun like appearance. It now bared the appearance a flaming skull. "You're time is up, Kirby," it growled, then flew off screen.

Kirby flew after him on a Warp Star. A text box appeared, and Dark Mind spoke. "Once I finish off that stupid pink ball, I will curse the Mirror World and turn everything into an undead army!" I mashed the attack buttons and blasted Dark Mind's skull. What was pretty awesome was that every time I landed an attack on Dark Mind, a piece of his skull broke off. After 150+ hits, the final blast made Dark Mind's skull explode as I heard a loud "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" emit from the speaker, although it sounded like Ivo Shandor's defeat from Ghostbusters: The Video Game.

After this bizarre incident, the game continues to play normally. However, Dark Mind seems to have a slight expression of fear on his face every time I battle him. I did have a few nightmares, but nowadays, the nightmares have stopped. I still enjoy the game, and I grin wickedly every time I whack Dark Mind or any of those stupid enemies that stalk me.