Talk:It's Cold/@comment-7706473-20131031060603

I'm going to go against the grain here - I really liked this. I had a few complaints - personal complaints - about the narrator, but that's because I'm old and bitter. I think there aren't enough stories like this, where the worlds of the real and surreal seem to line up - or the narrator is convinced, and tries to convince us.

The atmosphere is nostalgic, the narrator stand-offish. She has a chip on her shoulder and something to prove, but that makes her story more relatable. Vince's arcade seems like a place you might find, and I'm not just saying this because I have a friend named Vincent, hah. There's a really weird feeling of dread in the very first couple of lines, though - like, for all of Mia's bluster, she's trying to reassure herself, and that gets the reader thinking, too.

Maybe it's the relatively tight story work, or the fact that things just flow well. The moment killing enemies becomes trivial, Gelzin(..? I had a theory about this name, but I'm not as sure anymore) makes its appearance. Vincent has just the right blend of paternal and deeply unpleasant small business owner about him, and there were a lot of things that seemed 'off' to me with the story as Mia told it. For one thing - she mentioned at the beginning nearly being horribly murdered, yet by the point the story ends, she has moved on - has this been happening, following her since those days..?

You put a lot of effort into this, and it's effort that shows. As much as I gnashed my teeth over certain phrases or character traits, I'd gladly read more from you. A simple story as crisp as cold air is perfect for Halloween, after all - just watch those unseasonal temperatures. A guelder rose, for winter - and a lilac, for pride.