No One Else in the House

I'm not sure about you, but I used to hear about this thing called "christmas". It was a holiday in which a fat man breaks into your house and give you items that you had previously requested on a list.

There were a number of ways to celebrate the holiday before it happened, too. Many films were created and were based around the holiday. One of the most famous ones was "Home Alone". It was about a boy who was left behind for christmas vacation and most protect himself from robbers.

Anyways, enough of a history lesson. Back when I was nine years old, in 1991, my parents rented a tape of Home Alone to watch over christmas break. I had never seen it before and it was really good. I liked it so much that I added the Home Alone video game to my list of presents I wanted.

Then, as December 24th rolled around, I was tearing through layers of wrapping paper and was happy to see that a Gameboy cartridge was wrapped. That happiness quickly turned into dissapointment when I saw what the game was.

The cartridge seemed very scratched up and used. The cartridge was a strange brownish-greenish-purplish color. The sticker featured a little shack with two men outside. As my eyes panned to the top of the sticker I realized that the worst had come. The title of the game was "No One Else In The House". A bootleg copy of Home Alone for Gameboy.

I was hopeful that the game would closely mirror the not-chinese bootleg counterpart of the game. I ran into my room and turned on my gameboy.

I was greeted with the classic Home Alone jingle as the title appeared on the screen. I pressed the play button on my Gameboy and the title flashed red, with hyperrealistic blood dripping from the letters. Due to the graphical limitations of the gameboy, I was shocked to see this.

As the game began, a cutscene played. The main character, Kevin James Rodrigues Mcallister opened the door of his house to find the two robbers from the movie.

One of them said, "nobody in this house is alive, let's loot it." Kevin began to cry as he walked through his house, then the game began.

Text read, find the bodies. I assumed the goal of this level was to find Kevin's family, so I began to do so. 10 minutes and 13 seconds later, I completed the task and another cutscene played.

kevin dragged all of the bodies of his family members into the basement and threw each of them into the furnace. the furnace said, "Thanks Kevulous". The robbers were found hanging from a tree outside the house. Then the first half of the cutscene played again in reverse and slower than before.

The next level started. Text read, "call the police". I directed Kevin to the phone and pressed A on it. The level ended. Another cutscene played. A policeman

arrived to the door. Kevin opened it. The policeman said, "Thanks a bunch Kevin! Thanks to you, we found out that you've been murdering everyone in town!". Kevin pulled out a bomb and yelled, "ALLAHU AKBAR!". The policeman called the United States military and sent nuclear bombs raining down on Kevin's house. Then Kevin woke up, and his family was crowded around him. They chanted in russian and stabbed Kevin many times. Hyperrealistic blood moved from his body, defying the law of gravity. Another Kevin appeared. It was made Solely out of blood. Kevin's family exposed the blood Kevin to heat, and he evaporated. The family explained that Kevin was filled with hatred. He had fantasies of murdering his family. By using an ancient spell, Kevin's family split Kevin in half, good and evil. they destroyed the evil, and only the purest of Kevin remained. then, Satan rose from the ground and killed everyone in the house. He said something in reverse, and I managed to record it on my walkman tape recorder.

The gameboy shut off and exploded. I reversed the thing that Satan said, and it was 666. I was so scared that I cried for the rest of the minute.

Apparently, the game I played deleted system32 from my gameboy. I would like to try and play this game on an emulator inside of a virtual machine. I need to know if what I see was real, or a childish fantasy. If anyone has a ROM file of this game, please send it to me, and I will transfer 1000000 robux to you.

-CreepolousChairman