Talk:Fallout 3: The Man/@comment-11366536-20150716205400

This pasta is... decent.

Summary - Our story begins with a brief introduction about three siblings who are the main characters: Todd, Ralph, and Rico and we're told about their experiences with Video Games briefly before getting back on track with the story. When Todd buys Ralph Fallout 3 for his Birthday, (In dusty condition...?) things go horribly awry as they are greeted with a series of Technical Bugs and Graphical Glitches. After playing through the game a bit, they are greeted with a strange unknown Shadow-Man NPC who says a bunch of cryptic things related to china which causes Rico to have a brief coma for some reason. At the Hospital, they are told by Rico about a mysterious dream where he stated that he saw the man who described a Climactic Showdown between US and China over Fossil Fuels. Spooky?

Critique - In terms of Grammar and Wording, everything was more or less alright. The Creepy-Pasta was nicely-lengthy and everything was explained properly to give me a good sense of what was going on. I also liked the exposition for this fact.

The main problems I have with this story are the cliche's in the middle section of the story as well as the Story's Scare-Factor. Like Incorrect3 stated below, I didn't have anything to actually be afraid of in the story. Most of the "Scares" were really cliche'd and done very blandly. Also, the portion where rico slips into a Coma is a huge cliche' in Gaming-Pastas that should definetly be removed. (In my opinion)

All in all, this creepypasta is mostly a decent Creepypasta that could use a few edits to make it better.

Verdict : 5/10 (Decent)