Talk:Dover Demon/@comment-25021327-20141130194150

Well, I guess reading this version, I missed the whole "shotgun part," but from the nature of the comments, that may not be a bad thing ;)

This story had some issues with grammar, which were a little disctracting. I went through and did some proofreading (if I changed anything in a way you didn't like, I won't be offended if you change it back) and read through again.

The basic story is alright, the deathbed confession of a man who had a strange encounter with a cryptozoological beast in his youth. The pacing felt a bit jumpy to me at parts, the way that it seemed few people knew about the creature, yet it was already being called the Dover Demon, and the boys found it so easily all felt a little quick to me.

I like stories that involve cryptids, and other "could it be real?" animals, whether they be fiction writing or not. And I think that the Dover Demon is a good one to explore, since it is a slightly lesser known creature than say, Bigfoot, or the Lake Champlain monster. It could conceivably be a one time instance of a mutated animal, or alien creature.

I guess I would like to see this story be built upon, as it is now, it feels a bit rushed, or lacking, but I think it has potential to be very entertaining. Maybe with more time devoted to the hunt for the creature, or sightings, and a little more about the aftermath. The strange communications from (presumably) government officials, and how these events affected the lives of the boys. Maybe the real horror here isn;t the monster, but the possible implications of coverup, hhmmm...

Anyway, I didn't dislike this story, but I guess I hoped that I would have liked it more. I hope that my critique wasn't too discouraging, or harsh-sounding.