Talk:My Failure.../@comment-26480939-20160827030059

Eh, this wasn't bad, but it wasn't terribly good either. One thing that really stuck out to me was the spelling mistakes, in addition to some capitalization issues. My advice is to fix the spelling mistakes and make several words lowercased. Capitals should only be used for I, proper nouns, and the start of a new sentence. A good example is this line:

'And the said "Portal" Sucked us in Like a powerful reverse fan.'

It should be corrected to read something more like this:

'And then said "portal" sucked us in like a powerful reverse fan.'

See the difference in readability there? That's just one example. There's more lines like that throughout the story, so focus on correcting those.

DAE Rating: 6/10 Good, but has some wasted potential.