Talk:The Midnight Watch/@comment-17737991-20150906160123

Alright, this ending has the same problem a lot of pastas have: the narrator suddenly figures something out that was hardly foreshadowed, and therefore they don't have much reason to come to that conclusion. Also, what's with the dirt box, is that a vampire thing? .-.

You stress that they're only seen at night, but I think their vampirism could be foreshadowed more. Perhaps explain that no one has even met the members of the Midnight Watch, as they're never about during the day. When you said "Due to the neighborhood watch only being active at night", I thought you meant the act of patrolling is only done at night, not that the people running it are only ever seen during night. And perhaps when the watch member waves at the protagonist, the vampire would smile, and his teeth are brightened by the glare of a street light. The protagonist then swears he/she saw red stains on the teeth.

Lastly, where are the adults? Given how the protagonist interacts with kids a lot, and doesn't care to talk to their parents, I assume the protagonist is an older kid, or maybe even a teen. So why did he/she not get an adult to help out, or tell that kid's parents he got abducted, or call the police?

Anyway, this story isn't bad, I just think adding a few things and explanations would improve it ^^