Talk:Dragonslayer - Kingsgrave/@comment-25021327-20150109040612

For a first attempt, I don't think this is too bad. I don't play any of the Elder Scrolls games, so some of what was described here didn't have the impact on me that ot would others, I still felt pretty easily able to follow along.

I like the setup of the two strangers working with one another of a game mod, and I think it was presented fairly well here. There was some stuff that I felt would have been discussed by the two modders before this playthrough, what the narrator is playing seems to be a amost full version of the playable game. But for the purpose of this pasta, it's fine.

The plot is something that has been, and will continue to be done quite a lot. The weird villager/enemy/NPC that shouldn't really be there, or acting the way it is, and proceeds to try to make the player feel badly about 'something.' It's a common setup, and it's done often, but that doesn;t mean it can't work.

And maybe for some folks it does work here. For myself, I mostly felt like I wanted a little more out of this. maybe some more information about the other modder. As far as the descriptions of everything in game go, they were pretty much fine, and the narrator did have a somewhat distinct voice which is a plus. The game having artwork not done by the narrator is something that would be kind of unsettling. but, I don't know... Something about this story just didn't grab me though.

It was pretty evenly paced, and not too long, but I found myself having trouble staying interested. Like I said, maybe someone more familiar with the Elder Scrolls would get more into this. The spelling and grammar were alright, though I found myself a little distracted and confused from time to time with what felt like run-on sentences. There were some sentences that seemed to me like they went an a long time without punctuation.

So this wasn't bad, however it didn't appeal to me, and Im not even sure why! Not a lot of advice I could give, and there were parts that I enjoyed. I hope others like this more than I seem to have ;)