Talk:Bloom/@comment-25021327-20150522035815

I definitely think there is some interesting stuff going on in this story, and it kept me wanting to read and see where things wound up. After finishing this, I feel that I liked this, but maybe wanted to like it more than I did.

The narrative is very choppy and disjointed, and I'm pretty sure that this is by design to keep the reader on edge and unsure of what exactly is going on (that's just what I thought anyhow). However, I did feel confused at times while reading this, and not always in a good way.

I was able to follow along with most of the main narrative, and I liked the little cut-aways to "Sarah." As a whole though, I thought that the story moved along at a really fast pace, almost faster than I could keep up with. It seemd like we went from the intro, to the skepticism and wonder about what was happening to more death, to mass chaos in a few short hops. I was still pondering things while it seemed the characters had moved on from them.

There was a part where I was a bit confused about what was happening with one of the torture scenes. The names Johnson and Jackson are used, but I was having trouble figuring out who they were, or if I was missing something (I am a bit tired reading this).

I would have liked to see this story build up more slowly, and maybe be longer to give the reader some time to think about what is happening. However, I tend to like slower moving stories, and my own personal writing moves very slowly, so that might just be a personal gripe.

In all I thought the concept was pretty intriguing, and there is definitely some skill here as far as writing prowess, very few typos, pretty nice descriptions, and as I said, I wanted to read through to the end. For some reason the feel and 'floral' tone of this piece reminded me of a film called "The Upstream Color."

So yeah, I meant to read this a while ago, but forgot. I'm glad I saw this back on the front page and took some time to read it :)