Thread:Selto854/@comment-10400187-20170223232220/@comment-24082398-20170224224413

Hey!

I would like to thank you for posting a well-structured message on my wall asking about this. I really appreciate you trying to think this through and not just throwing a tantrum and screaming about "MY PASTA WAS AMAZING SCREW YOU!!!!!!!" It really means a lot.

I deleted the pasta for a number of reasons. The first, most glaring reason was the layout. Some paragraphs had a smaller font than the others. This looked jarring and it was difficult to focus with the fonts constantly fluctuating throughout the story. It's a nitpick, yes, but it really does wonders to a story's presentation.

The second reason was grammar and whatnot. There was a running trend of you placing punctuation outside of your quotes.

"What do you mean", I said.

The correct way to do this would be punctuation inside the quotes, like so:

"What do you mean," I said.

There were also some issues with sentence fluency and whatnot, like some sentences being worded really awkwardly.

The third and biggest reason was the content. It was pretty ridiculous. The sister being kidnapped and killed on her wedding day? The gifts constantly being sent to the address? The fact the FBI seemed powerless to stop it? Surely it wouldn't be hard to trace an IP or mailing address to nab the perp. The angst pervading the story also seemed pretty heavy-handed and cartoonish; her parents were dicks just so they could be dicks, and then they're surprised their daughter said they were dicks? The main protagonist was also pretty boring and unlikeable, but that's a minor issue in relation to the others. Among other problems, those were the ones I remember spotting right out of the gate.

Ultimately, I felt it wasn't up to the wiki's standards and I recall reading it when it was first posted. That was some time ago, and I thought if I marked it Needs Work it wouldn't do much good because I didn't see much activity on your profile and it was posted a while back. I'm sorry I caused you some distress! I didn't mean to!

If you would like me to, I can bring it back so you can work on it again.

Sorry about this again! Please excuse me!