Talk:The Origins of a Certain Pokemon/@comment-26480939-20160808211300

...I always knew Dome was evil. Slavemaster workplace tyrant, he is.


 * ahem* TwitchPlaysPokemon lore joke aside, I don't really think this is well-done, layout-wise. It's kind of jumbled in a train of thought style, which I personally can't stand. I suppose some folks might like that, but I'm not one of them.

Using the actual characteristics and Pokédex data for Kabutops impressed me, though.

That part near the end where the protagonist freaks out about 'killing' the monster is very unbelievable, though. The death penalty isn't given in cases of killing in self-defense, which is what the incident clearly was. At most, the worst charge would be manslaughter, as it was accidental, and the narrator clearly wasn't in a sound state of mind at the time. (Of course, we don't use the death penalty where I live, but that might not be the case in Washington state.) And I'm not going to bring up asking why there was a kitchen knife nearby that he/she could use to retaliate against Kabutops.

Enjoyable read, if strangely structured. 5/10 Average, with slight improvements needed.