Talk:Star Fox Anger/@comment-8470110-20131012181951

5/10

This story is a very interesting mix of good and bad ideas. Let's start off with the good; the pacing of the story was done well, it didn't jump into the scary stuff right away. The opening segment gave a good and clear backstory to the events of the pasta. The detail of the story was pretty good, so that's defiantly a plus. However, not everything was good.

For starters, much like everyone else who have read this, I noticed many uses of clichés like 'an abandoned game coming back for revenge' and 'game of my childhood becoming demonic'. There were also a few grammatical mistakes here and there, which can be easily fixed with a bit of editing. The story, while it had good pacing, seemed a bit rushed. I wish it were longer so backstory and the creepy events could be expanded on in order to become more interesting.

Overall, it wasn't a good pasta but it wasn't a bad pasta. It's in the middle, which isn't a bad thing. For your future pastas, I'd recommend reducing the number of clichés, expanding on ideas more and having a more satisfying ending. A good job, and I'm looking forward to your next pieces.

-Sshakenbakee