Talk:The Leader/@comment-25021327-20150214223135

I much enoyed this one. The pacing was nice, and the journal format was well used, omitting dates helps eliminate plotholes or overanalysis. The style worked pretty well for me, making the protagonist somewhat sympathetic, but not overly so. There weren't really any distracting spelling or grammar errors in this which is good.

I'm not a huge fan of Mindfucks, and I personally wish the mindfuck reveal wasn't quite so overt. I was pretty well able to tell whose journal we were reading, the clues are there (mentioning painting was a nice touch) and maybe for folks who hadn;t figured it out by the end, it worked better. I would have liked to see a slightly more vague conclusion where we, the readers, know, but aren't explicitly told.

I understand about phycholigically torturing the protagonist for his crimes against humanity, killingh is men one by one until he is taken out. But I couldn't help but think about the time traveller, his motives, and well... timing. It seems to me that if he/she were really disgusted enough by the actions of the dictator, maybe he/she would have thought of a way to end the war early, or take measures to prevent it. Maybe that would mess with time/space too much. The way it plays out makes the time traveller seem like a bit of a sadist him/herself. But it's a fiction story, and if the war never happened, this story wouldn't even exist... so I understand. Leaving a note that could possibly cause time paradoxes seems a little careless as well ;3

In any case, this was an enjoyable story, and interesting enough to keep me reading through. Nice job :)

(also, it's nice to see that Pokemon is still popular after another century! XD)