Talk:Pokemon OBSIDIAN Black/@comment-7154429-20130401043755

Reading this, I wish I played a whole lot more Pokemon, and read the fan-fiction this was based off of.

That being said, It was really good. The story was original, well written, it was creepy, and the best thing was that I had no idea where this was going. It was long, but I didn't notice because I was curious and just a bit frightened all at once. The gore/violence was extremly effective and were easily the most terrifying parts to me as well as the shadow figures around the screen.

That said...there were parts that really, realy slowed it down for me. As I said before, I haven't played much of pokemon except for Yellow and silver, so the continous shift of pokemon music was pretty much for me like: "Oh, and here's another song you probably haven't heard of!" with the exception of The Lavender Town theme, forwards and backwards, because that stuff is nightmare fuel. I liked the descrpitions of the music when there was descriptions, so I can at least have an inkling of what it sounds like. Otherwise I have to go to another tab, and youtube the soundtracks, thus tearing myself from the pasta in the process.

Of course, I think die-hard pokemon fans would have less of a problem then I do with hearing the soundtracks in their head but, meh.

That said, it is entrenched in your fan-fic and your fan-fic is long.

There's not one, not two, not three, but four volumes to read and this is creepy-pasta. Creepy-pastas are supposed to be short horror stories that can be read in one sitting. If I read your fan-fic, despite not having the time, I may feel more invested in various characters and understand the war and social dynamics better, but then I can't read this creepypasta again because I know how it's going to end and I won't get the same creepiness as I did the first time.

Reading it without the fanfic (like I did) just left me confused. Why is there a United States insignia army rank in pokemon? Why is there Terminators (yes, I thought of the one's from the movies because I wasn't going to read your long fan-fic) in a pokemon game? Then again, other questions like "who's doing the killing?" or "who are those shadow things?" actually served to make this pasta creepier.

That actually said, you had to put an author's note in the end for the pasta to make sense, while many other writers stop when they write the ending, because pasta's are supossed to be self-contained/stand on their own, which yours does not.

Now, I'm picking at smaller things, such as the need to specify each pokemon leader's pokemon, their level, their abilities as somewhat of a waste of time. I believe that every word counts in a pasta and is to contribute to a higher purpose. This higher purpose seems to be the want to make an actual game outta this, instead of a creepypasta, which I'll support whole-heartedly if it means there's actually a possibility of better world-building and an integration of the fan-fic.

Anyways: TL;DR Pasta is good, not great but good, a clusterfuck if fan-fic which is incredibly long is not read, continous soundtrack changes not great for people who mentally don't have pokemon soundtracks in their mind, and seems to be more concerned in being (and probably be) more better in a game then a pasta.