Talk:Ōkami-shin no haiboku/@comment-25021327-20141205002124

I try not to be intimidated, or discouraged by lengthy stories, but rather give them a chance, as usually the sheer length of a tale shows at least that the writer has some passion. I read this in two sittings, and found the second to be markedly more enjoyable than the first.

The first half of this story was very wordy, and I suppose the second half was too, but there was more action, so it wasn't as noticeable. I don't really have a problem with desriptive, and wordy writing, i fact, it is something I tend to do when I write, sometimes moreso than I intend. However, sometimes wordiness can work against a work of short fiction, where the reader usually expects a faster pace than found in a novel, or novella.

But there was a lot of good int his story. I agree with a lot of what Kyosu mentioned in their critique. I can tell that there is definitely a fairly large degree of love, and effort put into this story in the way of research and detail. I have never played Okami, but am familiar enough with its art style to appreciate the descriptions in this story.

And the story itself was pretty interesting, and unique. There were some of the standard haunted game things, like the Sports game using Orochi's voice, and the general bizarre behavior of this special Wii. But a lot of the more typical haunted game stuff can be attributed to the hallucinagenic nature of the drug on the amulet inside the Wii... putting it that way does make it sound pretty silly, but hey, it's pretty original too.

I like that this story begins with some charaterization of the narrator. I feel that getting to know a character makes for a better reading experience. Although I couldn't entirely relate to this character, I was glad to at least know some stuff about him through your description, and his inner monologue.

So I liked this story. As was mentioned, not really a Creepy Pasta per se, but definitely a game based tale with soe effort put into it, and I think Okami fans will dig it. My main complaint would be the somewhat uneven pacing, but that mostly related to the length of the piece. Glad I took the time to give this a read through