New Writer Guidelines

I've compiled these guidelines for struggling writers. I've been on this wiki for over a year, and over these past few months there have been a plethora of shittypastas, more than any time I can remember. Here are some tips to help those of you who need it. (Admins, mods, or regulars can add or remove what they want from this post as they please)

List of Common Cliches
Hyper Realistic Blood- Never, and I repeat, NEVER is this description of blood acceptable.

House in the Middle of Nowhere/In the Deep Forest- Overdone setting, do something original.

Ending a Title of a Pasta With .Exe- Adding this to your title says, "Hey, look at this pile of shit I made!"

Game Comes Out of TV and Kills Narrator- One of the worst ways to end a pasta.

Plushies- Direct rip off of the atrocity that is, "Tails Doll"

Nostalgia Rush- Narrator buys a game for nostalgia purposes.

Bought off EBay or Yard Sale- Never works. Ever.

No Label to Game- Direct rip off of, "BEN Drowned"

All Caps- Common mistake that many writers make, caps do not make your story creepy!

666- No. Never use this number.

Eyes Bleeding/Missing- Overdone form of gore. This cliche is okay if not overdone.

Narrator Shrugs Off Everything- "Oh, why if it isn't Mario in a pool of blood, probably a glitch"

Vomitting- Narrator sees something grotesque and vomits- Okay if used sparcely.

BLOOD EVERYWHERE- Does not make your story creepier, just worse.

Including Blood, Hell, or Death in Your Title- No. Just Don't. (Hell is allowed in some instances)

Family Member/Friend Works at Gaming Company- I'm guilty of this one, and it ruins plausibility.

.Avi In Title- Almost as bad as .exe, but not quite. Even still, never use this trope in your pasta title.

Red Cartridge- ''"Oh my god the cart is red, blood is red, 666 Illuminati confirmed!" ''

Lights Go Out- I don't care what campfire stories you've heard, this does not work.

"Go Easy On Me Guys It's My First Pasta"- Nobody cares. If your pasta sucks, it sucks.

Latin- No, you don't know how to read latin. And no, latin is not creepy.

What to Do Before You Post
Be honest with yourself. Is your pasta good? If so, post it, if not, work on it, and if you're not sure compare it to another pasta. A good pasta to compare yourself to is The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Blood Knight's Retreat for gaming pastas, and Nightmare Fuel: Can You Survive? for non gaming. Both of those pastas are great, but not impossibly good.

If you truly believe your pasta is good, then before you post it, proofread it. Proofreading is the best thing a writer can do as it gets rid of all of the small little errors that can bring a 9/10 pasta, to a 7/10. A good way to proofread is to read the pasta aloud to yourself, as when reading aloud your brain won't fill in the blanks/errors that it would when reading in your head. I can't tell you how many times I've seen great pastas ruined because they were obviously not proofread.

Now that you've done that, you must add categories, as it is a part of the rules. You can find the rules of the road under the 'Community' tab at the top of the page. As it is also mentioned in the rules, you cannot make your own categories, so find some already existing ones for your pasta.

Finally, if you're proud enough of your work to post it, sign the page so that you can be recognized as the author of your story. Now that you're done with all of that, you're ready to post!

Common Writing Mistakes
All writers make mistakes, but these are the most prominent among them..

There, Their, and They're- Seriously guys, we learned this in first grade...

Your and You're- Once again, first grade

U, ur, and Other Slang- You aren't texting, and using slang like this makes it look like you put in no effort.

Spaces- This is something I've been pondering about.Why don't you guys space after periods?Huh?

"Mutahar Please Read"- I don't know one good story that starts out like this. Oh wait, yes I do, and Mutahar did read it, on shitpastas...

WALL OF TEXT- This is in the rules. Walls of Text are nearly impossible to read and are never good pastas

English Fluency- If you can't speak English fluently or correctly, don't post pastas.

Writing In English- All pastas must be in English. Once again stated in the rules.

Font/Formatting- The Font or Formatting of a pasta must be correct, or they will be removed.

What Should I Write About?
 Every writer goes through a writer's block, and it isn't something you should feel bad about. If you don't know what to write, don't write anything, as a bad pasta is worse than no pasta. However, this page is not about finding ideas, it's more about what not to write, so if you need inspiration, go read a few pastas, I'm sure you'll find something! But for now, here's my list of worst pasta ideas...

Five Nights at Freddy's- Never write FNaF pastas. I have never in my life read one even decent FNaF pasta in my life, so don't even attempt it. If you have a "brilliant" idea, it's most likely already been made or you'll butcher it. Sorry, just being honest.

Literally Every Horror Game- Horror games don't make good pastas, it's that simple. You can't make an already creepy thing creepy, it just doesn't work. Once again, I have not read one good horror game pasta, so it is just a bad idea to post them.

A Pasta Revolving Around a Non-Creepy Theory- This one is a bit harder for the author to realize, so it isn't as bad as the first two, but still, don't post them. Theory pastas seldom are creepy, and it is on the shoulders of the author to rationalize and find out if their theory is creepy. However, don't let this dismay you from writing a theory pasta, as they can be truly eye opening and terrifying, but just be aware of what you are posting.

Redundant ​Lost Episode Pastas- Okay, not all Lost Episode pastas are bad, but there are a lot of horrible ones. If your pasta resembles Squidward's Suicide in any sense, don't post it, as it makes your pasta seem like a clone of all of the other Lost Episode pastas in the genre.

Torture Porn- Aka- just torture for the sake of disturbance. A story that is just gore and torture porn is horrible and without a good story and setting to go along with the gruesomeness these pastas can never work. For a first pasta, I wouldn't attempt to do this type of pasta.

Types of Pasta Genres and Hardness
Standard Gaming Pasta- You buy/download a game, strange things happen, etc. Easy to do bad, but easier to do good. This is the easiest pasta to write and it is the best choice for a first time pasta writer. Case in point-Dreamer N64. Hardness Level: EASY

Psychopath/Killer- Random killer kills people. Incredibly simple, and it is so easy to do. These pastas can range from Amazing to Horrible, but with enough time and effort, these pastas can become great. Case in point- The Home Run Killer. Hardness Level: EASY

Survival- An apocalypse or survival scene of some sort where the main protagonist is fighting for survival. These pastas are seldom written, but can make some excellent stories and are also fairly easy to write. Case in point- Surviving in Hell: Sequel to Nightmare Fuel. Hardness Level: EASY

Lost Episode- These types of pastsa are very commonly written, but are also ruined many times. These types of pastas are so expansive they have their own subgenre of cliches and tropes. These types of pastas normally are about a fan of a TV show stumbling across an episode that wasn't supposed to be aired and creepy things occur. These pastas are harder to write as it isn't easy to seperate yourself from some of the larger named lost episode pastas like Bart's Dead. However, these pastas are doable. Case in point- The Amazing World of Gumball: The Grieving. Hardness Level: MEDIUM

Gaming Mindfuck- This type of story is a variation on the popular Mindfuck category. These types of pastas are pastas that lead you in and then leave you with a twist at the end, making the seemingly real life story into just the premise of a popular video game. These pastas are normally executed pretty well, but are still hard as they are mindfucks, just a bit easier because of the gaming premise. Hardness Level: MEDIUM

Ghost Haunting- This type of pasta is the classic ghost story, except actually creepy. These pastas are harder than most because of the fact that there are so many ways you can go wrong and write an overcliched, uncreepy mess. There are a few good Ghost Haunting pastas, but they are still harder than most. Case in point- Hauntings Don't Exist. Hardness Level: HARD

Mindfuck- Sifenchar's specialty, and one of the hardest pastas to write. Actually, I shouldn't say that, they are fairly easy, just incredibly hard to do well. These pastas either go big or go home, and can make or break a perfectly good pasta. It's best not to take the risk if you are a new writer to write a Mindfuck. Case in point- Power Corrupts. Hardness Level: HARD

Theorypastas- The second hardestt pasta to write. These pastas are either amazing, or god awful, no silver lining. Theorypastas are only good when they are actually something creepy, as obvious as that sounds. Many writers attempt these theorypastas and do horribly as the premise of the theory isn't creepy in the slightest. It is all on the shoulders of the author when writing these. Case in point- Ash’s Coma. Hardness Level: VERY HARD

Pokepastas- The hardest type of pasta to write. You see, a few years ago one could make the argument that these were the easiest, but now, with so many redundant, dull, and cliched pokepastas, it's hard to stand out and have new ideas never used before. About every idea has been done and butchered and very few writers are able to pull off a pokepasta. Case in point- Pokemon OBSIDIAN Black. Hardness Level: VERY HARD

Okay, those are the guidelines that you should use if you are writing a pasta. If any well respected users (mods, admins, regulars) want to add onto it, they can do it at free will. But for now, I'm out!

-Incorrect3