Talk:Corpses/@comment-9281274-20150421055247


 * Sees that this pasta is just one long wall of text.*


 * Finds out that it's only 324 words.*

Oh, this is gonna hurt.

Look, the idea of a haunted town of corpses is interesting and there's not a shitload of spelling errors....and that's all the good thing I can say.

For one, we need much much MUCH MORE 'DETAILS! 'Jesus christ, 324 words? I'm sorry but unless you're Ernest Hemingway, you need to write more than just 324 words in order to give scares. You need to add atmosphere, character, descriptions, you need much morei n order to make this good.

Also, a wall of text. You need to space it out more. Granted, it's not like 324 words make a long read but you need to space it out anyway. People reading walls like these tend to get confused and lose the place where they're reading. In order for them to not be confused you need to space it out.

Also, WhErE HoPe No LoNger ExIsT? That's not creepy. That's just cliche and somewhat laughable.