Talk:Ami/@comment-6418997-20131217015338

i think the story had a pretty good concept and idea, even though the start was chliched. For example saying this actually happened. I did find it interesting and well written until I got to the death scenes. We need to see the characters actually sad not told their sad. I would have liked to see more emotion put into that death scene maybe have the emotions denial, anger, saddness are what I would recommend. I think the ending was also a bit chliched. 7/10 pretty good for your first pasta. :D