Talk:Luna/@comment-11366536-20160628020340

When I read this, for some reason I thought it was a CPW migration of the My Little Pony Creepypasta: Luna.

Despite the fact that it wasn't, this story still couldn't manage to maintain the standards of even a linear creepypasta. The first thing I noticed before I could even start reading was that there appeared to be a number of noticable spacing issues (i.e -  The following story is a true story that happened to a friend of mine; because of this names have been changed. [Space Missing Here] My friend, was living in New Orleans Louisiana; he had been around the parasite skate park.) (i.e - Pete's eyes turned black and he started to say over and over... [Unnecessary Space Here] "You are not welcome in my home")

That was probably one of the biggest red flags for me that I could notice with the story, which I probably should've paid attention to. Upon actually reading the story, I was surprised to notice that the grammar itself was actually pretty decent minus the spacing issues, and the descriptiveness was quite nice. However, the actual content I was reading off of the page was not: I was assaulted with cliche's and downright laughable scare attempts from the story in a desperate attempt to save a rapidly sinking plot, sometimes to the point where it literally becomes more assinine and 0 terrifying.

In the end, the story itself ends up being one large cliche'-stained mess that is barely scary even in the slightest. The grammar, writing, and descriptions were pretty redeemable, but not enough to save the story as a whole.

All in all, I'd like to believe that this story's even barely scraping the plate in terms of a good read, but it is, at the same time, fixable.

Final Verdict - 4/10