Talk:My Experience with Education/@comment-6794436-20150407021354

Ah, the mysterious first entrant to the Mindfuck competition, let's see what we have here!

Lugia you sly bitch...

Good: This pasta was written quite nicely with great vocabulary and some pretty decent descriptions. The introduction was incredibly relatable, and the pasta itself drew me in and it was an overall engaging read. I was on the edge of my seat waiting for the mindfuck, and throughout the pasta I thought, given the buildup, that it would be a crappy mindfuck. Oh boy was I wrong. This mindfuck bit me in the ass and left a smile on my face at the end. I did not see that coming at all!

Bad: Well, this pasta isn't very creepy, in fact, it isn't creepy at all. The story is a bit more humerous than creepy, and that is its biggest downfall. I also feel as though the format it is in right now sort of hurts it, as it makes the pasta seem more like a poem when I feel as though it would be better as a normal story, as if it were you could make it a creepy but still unexpected mindfuck. There were also some clarity issues here, and sometimes random things were brought up that weren't necessary and added nothing to the story. On a final note, the format is quite annoying, that being that it is completely in bold, but I'm sure that you will fix it so I won't take too much off because of it.

Verdict: 6/10- This was an excellent mindfuck and was written incredibly well, but it wasn't creepy in the slightest, which was inevitably its biggest downfall. Still, this is quite the story, and as I said before, it had an excellent mindfuck.

-Incorrect3