Talk:Time Causes Adherence/@comment-7706473-20140517095531

Insert the sounds of surprise and freakish laughter here.

A Clock Tower Pasta!

I'm really happy with this, and not only because Clock Tower is a great game (though I can't say I cared too much for the third (I guess fourth?) installement. For those of you who've somehow read this far without reading the pasta - please read the above as said by the voice of a child, young and undeveloped; completely disinterested as they monologue. It makes the pasta much more frightening, and may be necessary because I honestly don't know how many people have played Clock Tower.

(If you haven't, get out there and play it. You best get the best end, too.)

First thing's first, however. I'd recommend taking away the label before the story has even started; few people care about 'first' pastas, and it's actually a miniature cliche in and of itself - usually a bad user defending their lack of (finished) work with the label that it's the first they made. This work isn't bad, and in fact is quite good; so take pride and sever that foreward's self-effacement with a pair of gardening shears!

Story-wise, hrmn... I'll start with the elements I felt were weaker. Mssr. Burroughs gets all the air time, and though he's certainly an emblematic character, it might have been more frightening to have Jennifer escape for a bit, or even run off at the end - with Scissorlad simply choosing to finish his monologue apathetically instead of chasing after her, in the way you'll re-enter rooms for him simply to have wandered off. That's a matter of taste, however.

Besides that, you did an excellent job of managing to sum up the game and create an incredibly grotesque atmosphere through the narration. You can tell the narrator is as disgusted with himself - and mother, and his brother, and the area - but revels in it at the same time, and this ends up making the moments of elaboration crack better. There aren't really any jump scares; you used a slow, nauseating kind of fear which I'm quite fond of.

In short, I really like this; for the subject matter and the handling, and hope to see much more from you in the future!

Geitrams blossoms, since they can be found in in both places the Burroughs are alleged to have lived, and for their brilliant red.