Talk:Joy/@comment-25685806-20150526000004

This pasta seems no need a bit more work. I feel like it tried to escape the overused Bethesda cliche of "im playing a elder scrolls/fallout game with lots of mods. Oh no! I accidently downloaded a creepy mod!" Seriously, almost every creepypasta on a Bethesda game follows that format. Its getting old. But anyway, the story didnt have any grammatical/spelling errors that really stood out, and the indentation was nice for the paragraph, but the story faces one major issue. Its not creepy. I for one dont think dying near the start of the game because you get attacked by a lot of people is really creepy. When i first started playing skyrim i didnt think getting killed by giants in one hit, or getting my neck broken by a guards war hammer was scary. I actually just found it annoying. Which kinda makes me feel like the author isnt reacting properly to what happened. There are a lot of unanswered questions make the story seem rushed. Like what WAS up with Alvor? Did he just take too much skooma? Why did you get plastered after drinking your "joy"? Did it have skooma in it? Sorry I keep bringing up skooma, but thats just what I was thinking about when the character started seeing things. What I think could improve this story is, instead of blaming this on a mod, tie it into the skooma trading quest in Riften, and maybe make the character HAVE to kill the NPCs in order to obtain skooma because he is addicted. But this is just an idea. Im not saying this is a great idea that you HAVE to listen to, but I definitly think it would improve the story. Thanks for reading this long review, and I hope you can polish this story to be a masterpiece. I definitly think it has the potential.