Talk:Luna/@comment-26107461-20160628020841

3/10 It kinda feels like any other generic horror pasta. It is kinda hard to understand exactly why the hell a cloud would follow someone. Or how the hell he managed to measure the cloud. Also "They walked around for awhile until they came to a building that looked like it was destroyed by katrina. The house was a very big house but left to ruin by now. The house wasn't particularly in good shape, but in more ways then one." This is an extremely odd way to explain one house you could have just said "They walked around until they found what they thought was an abandaned house. The look of it sent a chill up their spines. The house was in terrible shape and looked as if it had been there during a severe storm. The windows were broken and pieces of the house were crumbled and left in ruin." This would have gave me a better feel for the house instead of you basically repeating yourself. This story was not really creepy because of the ending and cliches. This also could have been longer and with pictures because if it was true there would be images of this evil cloud. This may be your first pasta so I cut you some slack. I know you have potential to be a good writer. Keep writing :)