Talk:Living in the Game/@comment-25911569-20141227233215

Alright let me start off by saying

1)i editied certain parts a little bit to make them more understandble. Nothing to drastic. I also had to edit the grammar a lot. I didn't catch evrything, but it's in better shape now.

2)The concept is very interesting, but the plot didn't have much build up. Also the part with minecraft being controlled by a helmet or what ever and how there was a fire, kind of killed the mood. For future pastas don't make anything seem too out of reach.

3)I would recommend looking at other pastas to see what people like about them, and incorperating some of those aspects into your own story. Try to add more buildup an dmake the story more creepy. I just didn't feel very creeped out with this one at all.

But don't worry. We all start some where and if you keep writing, incorporate a lot of other aspects in your stories, then i believe with practice, you'll start to get the feel. :)