Talk:The Laughing Spirit/@comment-6794436-20150205231909

I know that feeling of a writer's block, and I'm overcoming one right now, still, it's truly great to see another one of your stories Fryz!

Good: The idea of the pasta is quite good, and the description, albeit a little cliched, is still pretty chilling. The pasta is told in a way that makes it sound a bit believable, I mean, there have been accounts of much stranger supernatural occurences in small villages/towns, so the idea that this spirit is there is quite plausible. The story is all around surprisingly a bit creepy, it isn't something that will keep me up at night or anything, but it is still a bit unnerving and creepy.

Badl: I'm sorry Fryz, but the grammar in this piece is atrocious. There are numerous tense problems, such as in multiple sentences where you started off in past tense, and ended in present tense. There are apostrophes in plural words, unnecessary capitalization, mispellings, etc. This overall seems quite rushed, especially in one of the last sentences where you say,

"To this day there has been less and less sightings of the Spirit - has the popularity frighten the Spirit?"

Which really doesn't make any sense. Because of the multitude of spelling and grammar errors, this pasta is also really hard to read and is quite confusing. On a final note, why the hell are some letters in bold? I tried to see if they would form a sentence or something, but it was just too tedious to find all of the letters in bold in the pasta.

Verdict: 4.5/10- This pasta looked to be good, but reading this story was very confusing based on the numeous grammatical errors. This pasta is in desperate need of a proofreading, as 90% of the pasta is borderline unreadable. Overall, this is had a great premise, but terrible execution. I'm sorry if this review sounds too harsh, and I hope it doesn't stray you away from writing more pastas, but I'm just giving you my honest opinion on the pasta and my constructive criticism.

-Incorrect3