Talk:My Prison/@comment-5675310-20140210221710

Too lazy for a witty comment...

Description: 4.8/10 - Once again, your poetic language is good, and the whole thing feels very surreal. However, there are multiple large grammatical blemishes that plague the poem in its entirety. These blemishes are obvious and took me out of the otherwise quite immerseve poem multiple times. This is easily your biggest problem with your writing at the moment, and when it's fixed I think that you could be an extraordinary writer. There are other problems that I would like to address as well with this poem, like the fact that you're missing some of those interesting and descriptive words that really make poems appleasing to the eyes. Without all of those interesting and descriptive words, the poem dwindles down to how good the story is, something I'll get to in a second.

Plot: 7.0/10 - This is where the poem flourishes. It's quite interesting to see how mad a person can go from getting their heart broken, and what they do in that mad state. It has been done before many times, but it's interesting none the less. Without this interesting idea behind the poem, it wouldn't be much good to be honest. Luckily this is its saving grace, and it keeps the poem afloat in my books as a good one.

Entertainment: 7.0/10 - It's short, and shows an interesting concept.

Pros and Cons:

+ Good poetic language

+ Interesting concept

- Done before

- More descriptive words

Overall: 6.2/10 - Okay.

"An interesting concept, but misses some key things that make poems, well, poems."

- Marcus