Talk:The Tragic Tale/@comment-11079349-20130708060522

In the beginning, the story took special attention to the fact that the brother started doing shrooms. In the nut bin, his stomped people's heads in. Then he stole gold from the pawn shop as well as fire power and got more shrooms. The special mention of shrooms at those two times basically gives away what this is meant to be a creepypasta of. try to dodge around the revealing factors a little more, maybe twist a couple points by saying things like "Bashed the man's head in." This way, it doesnt draw attention to the stomping factor. Good story though. The overall story wasnt ruined in the slightest.