Talk:Loss Of Memory/@comment-25021327-20140715001751

I think this pasta has some potential. It doesn't exaclty do anything spectacular, but with some work It could be a good, solid read :) I saw in a blog post that you were considering retiring from writing. I, of course, would urge you to keep at it, if it is something you enjoy doing.

I took a bit of a pass at this pasta, cleaning up some of the spelling and clarity (By all means, if you don't appreciate the edits, feel free to undo them:) And if you were looking for any basic advice, I would suggest trying to broaden your vocabulary while writing. Words like "Slowly" and "Pain' appear a lot in this work. Keep an online thesaurus open, and reference it often.

Another thing I would say for this piece, keep your tense in mind. This seems to switch between present (I walk down to...), and past tense (I ran to the bathroom.)  I hope that some of this was helpful. Don't get too discouraged. If you want to improve your writing, the best things you can do are write more, and, perhaps more importantly, Read more :D