My Beloved

Every night I sleep beside my beautiful, my beloved. Despite his predicament I cannot bring myself to leave him, and although he has grown cold over the years, a lovers warmth could melt an icecap. I caress his dry, patchy hair and hold him tightly in my arms as the two of us grow tired in our bed. I'm always the last one to fall asleep, but I understand he needs the rest more.

When I first met him our eyes met across a vast crowd. It was like God parting a sea of people so that we could be together. He walked up to me with a brisk, excited pace and a confident smile. Oh, how I adored his smile. Even now, when some of his teeth were lost to the sands of time I still think of its beauty. Our conversation was long, but it felt all too short. Thankfully, we exchanged numbers before parting ways, and I could talk to him whenever I wanted. I shared so much of my personal thoughts and feeling with him, and he did the same. Within days, we were dating, and I loved every second of it. We stared into each others eyes, and it still brings a tear to mine as we still do so every night, ten years after we met.

We weren't a perfect couple to be sure. I always liked to be spontaneous with our relationship, and I often surprised him with gifts and visits. At first he liked it, but after a while he told me to stop. I had no idea why he didn't want me doing things for him, after all he liked it before. Now some weaker couples might not be able to work through these things, but I swore to myself I would fix it. I noticed that he started to act a bit shy, and the wonderful conversations we had over the phone stopped happening. It was quite obvious something was making him depressed, and I knew there was no better person to help him out than myself. So I planned a surprise for him. I saved up a little money and bought us tickets to Italy. We were going to have so much fun! The cuisine, the art, the picturesque scenery... I thought he would be ecstatic.

Unfortunately he wasn't all too keen on travelling. When I showed up at his apartment with the news, he got angry. He went on this diatribe about personal space, and how we needed a little time apart. He said that he was feeling overwhelmed, and he needed time to think. I told him to tell me as soon as he was done with his break, and then we could finally get our relationship back to normal. He said yes, and so I waited. Three months went by without a sound. I stayed up all night thinking about him, clutching the phone in my hand, resisting the urge to text or call him. I wanted to badly, but I knew if I did that he would only spend more time away from me. Sooner or later, I couldn't take it. I called him, and he didn't answer. I tried again, and no answer. One final time, and I finally got him to pick up. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest upon hearing his dreamy voice through the speaker. However, it sank right back down as he told me that he thought we had broken up. I started yelling at him. How could he think that? He said it himself, it was just a break. It was just a break! How could he have done this?! "We need to talk right now!" I remember screaming at him before driving over to his apartment building.

To my utter dismay, my beloved was no longer there. One of the staff told me he left a week ago, but they didn't know where he moved. I was quick to get to a computer, and I opened up Facebook. I started messaging several of his friends, and although I didn't know most of them, it seemed like a lot knew me. One had even blocked me, and I didn't even know who he was. I told his friends that I was helping him move, and that I wanted to know where his address was. I went through about a dozen or so before one finally gave me an answer. It wasn't too far from town, and I was able to get to the building quickly. I knocked on his locked door for about a minute before he opened up. He asked me how I found out where he lived, but that wasn't the important thing. I walked inside and I let him have it. As much as I love him, he needed to know his place! I shamed him for refusing to speak with me, and how ridiculous and ill-conceived the notion of us no longer being a couple was. He tried forcing me to get out, but I refused. I only left when he called security to escort me out.

I wasn't about to give up just yet, though.

I knew my beloved had a LinkedIn profile as well, so I went there and found out where he worked. He wouldn't cause a scene there, it would ruin his career. I took the elevator up to his office as soon as he punched in for work the next day and I walked to him over at his desk. I have to admit, his anger was well-placed here. After all, this was a rather odd place for a meetup. Then again, drastic times called for drastic measures. I barely got a word in before he had me kicked out, and it was then I realized I needed a better plan. I remembered him taking me to one of his favorite coffee places on one of our first dates, and he had a cup from the same brewery on his desk. From there, I mapped out a route from his apartment to the coffee shop and then to his workplace. I went to the pharmacy and bought a bottle of over the counter sleeping pills, and I took about ten of them that night. The next day I waited in the coffee house for him to pick up his morning latte, but he saw me through the window and started running. I stormed out of the shop and chased after him. He fumbled with his keys in the parking lot as he tried to unlock the door to his car. I grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around, kissing him. "This needs to happen!" I shouted at him. "I need this from you!"

And now, the best part of my plan came into effect. "If you try to weasel your way out, I'll say you tried to rape me," I whispered into his ear. That got my beloved to freeze up, and I ordered him to take me on a date in the coffee shop. I reached into my pocket and grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills, showing them to his face, "They're still in my system, and you know they'll believe me over you," I assured.

Finally, I got my lover to listen. We had a wonderful date at the coffee house. He paid for everything, and even called in sick to work after I told him I wanted to spend the day together. We were talking once again, and everything was perfect. Absolutely perfect. I laid out ground rules for him this time, so that we would never have a problem again. He would always answer my phone calls, or else I would tell. He'll go on any date I want, when I want, and if he refuses to do anything, I'll have him locked up forever.

Our relationship went on incredibly for the next month or so, and my darling followed every rule to a tee! However one day, he missed a phone call, even after I redialed several times. He had been doing so well, so I thought it was only fair to give him a second chance. I drove over to his apartment and picked the lock on the door. I walked inside and found him hanging on a rope from the ceiling fan. I stood there stunned in complete silence, wanting to cry. I knew I had no time to waste though, so through vision blurred by tears I grabbed a knife from the kitchen counter and cut him down carrying him out from the fire escape down to the parking garage. I put him in the back of my car and drove back to my home, knowing that he would be safe there I placed him down gently in my bed, sobbing over his corpse. He left me so soon! How could he do such a thing to me?! I wanted to scream, even more so after realizing how much of this was my fault. I did this to him.

I was the one who let him take a break. I was so sure that he knew best, and that he knew how to get over his depression by himself. I never should've let him fight that battle alone! And now there was nothing I could do. I wiped the tears from my eyes and vowed to never leave him again. I tucked him into my bed, and that's where he stayed. I comforted him every night with my warmth, and I learned to love him even after passing. Every night since then I spent with him, and it was perfect once again.

I lived the rest of my life with that man. And even to this day, every night I sleep beside my beautiful, my prince, my soulmate,

My Beloved.