Talk:Saw You Drown/@comment-7706473-20140511102817

There's a lot I could choose to focus on in this piece, but I feel that the emotionality and raw feeling has already been compliment quite well, so I'm going to focus on something a little different that stood out to me; in the second half of the poem, almost every sentance starts with I or They. What this ends up doing is illustrating a hardening of the narrator that shows they'll go to any lengths to create their perfect world, and given the story this poem hangs about, well...

I'll be rooting for them quite fondly!

Hehe. More seriously, the contrast between the two 'halves' of the poem (I used to know the term for this, and cannot remember it for the life of me) is fantastic, as is the language you use. It really makes my evening when any sort of iconoclasm goes down! The drift between power/powerlessness selfishness/self-sacrifice was very well put together, too; lending just enough feeling of unease to make sure this pasta felt creepy, even though most readers are goign to be aware to IWLY, and thus have preset opinions.