Talk:The Monsters You've Created/@comment-25021327-20150517153432

I'm glad to see a new story from Sshakenbakee here :) I can appreciate the difficulty of what you did here, as a lot of us on this wiki have talked about, it is hard to make an effective pasta based on the source material referenced here. It is also a challenge to write in the second person, so I was pleased to see such an effort undertaken.

One of the bad things about reading and reviewing stories as they appear is that it is hard to read them before seeing the categories listed for them, as a result, I knew what I was reading going into this one. However, I still tried to read it with an open mind.

I thought this piece was pretty solid. A more interesting take on the FNAF pasta than we usually get. Only knowing a little of the lore, I was able to follow along fairly well. I thought that the wordings here were pretty interesting, and helped the story which was struggling with the normal problem that faces narratives written in the second person, repetition.

The length of this pasta also worked in its favor, I felt it didn't drag on too long or overstay its welcome. Although it may not be groundbreaking of phenomenal, it does what it sets out to do; make a more interesting Freddy pasta. I personally think it's cool that you attempted something as challenging as this, and I think the story is pretty good considering the limitations of the style and content. Not a homerun, but definitely a hit, glad I read this one :)