Talk:It's just Pokémon X... right?/@comment-25021327-20150319021333

18-March-2015- Adding this story to the Needs Work cat. For the most part, this isn't really a bad pasta. It isn't terribly original, but that isn;t always an automatic death sentence. The spelling, and grammar are better than a lot of other first pastas I've read.

The main issue here is the ending. It is very abrupt and really kind of silly. " MAN TRAGICALLY DIES DUE TO CARTRIDGE MALFUNCTION." is more likely to get chuckles than scares. I feel like you have some buildup in the internet post, but then the story just... well, ends. Maybe a little more of a climax, and maybe some closing action would help.

As this page is now tagged "Needs Work," it will  face deletion in about 9 days if it has not been  deemed adequately improved pending another review.