Talk:Her Final Wish/@comment-6794436-20141207222956

Okay, so this was pretty long, but it was pretty good. First though, I need to get the bad things out of the way.

For starters, each paragraph is a wall of text, and it needs to be changed. Possibly, you could split the paragraphs in half to space it out more. Another thing, this pasta is very long, and a lot of it is pointless. The exposition somewhat drags on and doesn't really compel the reader. This pasta is somewhat scary, but it isn't really scary. Also there are a lot of fragmented sentances and sometimes the pasta  is hard to follow.

Now the good. The buildup is decent and better than a lot of other stories I've read recently. Like I said before, the pasta is only somewhat scary, but that's better than nothing. It is clear that a lot of effort was put in this pasta though, and it really helps the rating.

Verdict: 6.5/10- I've seen better, I've seen worse. This story has a lot of flaws, but it is still a pretty good, well thought out story. If you want further reason as to why it gets a 6.5/10 just go to my profile and see my rating system.

-Incorrect3