Talk:A Soldier's Game/@comment-25021327-20150128032129

Well, I appreciate that you took something from real life and made a bit of a story out of it. I imagine the retelling here is far more exciting than what happened to the Gulf War Gameboy. I think I remember reading that it was in a tent that got hit with a mortar round, I think (hope) that no one was badly injured in relation to the attack. It would be kind of crummy if Nintendo was displaying a dead guys burnt up Gameboy. But I digress.

This story pretty much worked. I like the concept of the Gameboy holding memories or spirits of the attack, and transporting the thief back to that time. It's supernatural enough to be interesting, but it doesn't overtly state anything impossible, which I like.

I feel bad, but there were a lot of nitpicky things in this story that irked me. Things like a guy breaking into a shop in Rockefeller center seemed pretty far fetched. The dialogue between the guys in the military flashback felt odd to me, and I felt like maybe they would be referring to each other by their last names, and likely would have less savory names for the enemy than reds, or Iranies(?) But that would be getting into touchy territory. I would have liked to hear more about the gameboy as well. Although it is touted as "fully functional" in stories I doubt that the buttons work very well.

Also I don't really like the whole "wrap things up by sending narrator to the insane asylum" thing. Again, a personal nitpick.

Anyway, I won't go on to much about that kind of stuff. The story was short, and it was a quick read. There were some spelling and grammar issues, but nothing too bad. Some of the wordings were more conversational than I typically like (things like "nuff" not used in dialogue) but that's another nitpick. In all, I think folks will mostly like this story.