Talk:Pay-per Mario/@comment-11079349-20130710202958

This wasn't bad in my opinion, it just needs lots of work. Details are what this lacks for the most part, and nothing really connected with anything else. What was the reason for the toybox? what was the reason for the battle? Honestly, the only creepy thing was mario's face appearing on screen, but there was nothing to make it have any impact. I guess what I'm saying is that this creepypasta seemed a bit rushed.