Talk:Run/@comment-5675310-20140723060124

What's it like, to just Run from the truth of death?

Description: 5.0/10 - So, there's a reason why many people don't try to write in the perspective you did in this particular story. This reason is, well, more often than not, it just doesn't quite work. Honestly, it doesn't work here either. You try to record the events here as they occur, and while the increasing tension between each "Stomp. Stomp. Stomp." is a nice touch, I feel as though you failed to make a truly engaging, creepy atmosphere by using this writing technique. I'll still give you props for being fairly original and ambitious in this category though. Now, when it comes to grammar and spelling, this isn't terrible. However, it's not really all that great either.

Plot: 7.0/10 - Well, that was a mindf*ck I never saw coming. The ending was great and implemented very well, as it really just slipped in there smoothly to the rest of the story. Before that, I was honestly counted the clichés, but the ending (like most mindf*cks) cleared away many of my initial worries when it came to this. However, I still have to say that this might not have been the best way to present a mindf*ck about homework. I mean, running from it. I suppose you could say it all stands for procrastination, but it just doesn't quite all fit together perfectly.

Entertainment: 6.5/10 - The constant knowledge of how close whatever it is outside is getting to you can be a little tense at times, and the mindf*ck was a great touch that really made the whole thing worthwhile.

Pros and Cons:

+ Ambitious

+ Great Mindf*ck

- Setting just doesn't quite fit

- Failed potential

Overall: 6.3/10 - Okay.

"The mindf*ck is great, and you can see the ambition, but it won't scare you as it inteneds, and the writing is rather poor."

- Marcus