Talk:Nintendo Switch Online: SNES Library Beta/@comment-34444224-20191117223203

I gotta say, I liked this creepypasta quite a bit, and the grammer and spelling is excellent, but there are also some flaws. The idea is interesting, but to put it simply, a lot of detail needs to be added.

Firstly, I'd recommend removing the OST section, since the music could be described in the main story, remove the Notes and Warnings section and immediately start the story, because people on this site come here to see dark creepy stuff, so we're prepared for things like this, and finally the seperate game sections, as they can take you out of the world of this creepypasta, and instead, just seperate the paragraphs to make it easier to read.

There are also some cheesy details, like blood on signs, which have been used a little too much, reminding me too much of Sonic.exe, which isn't very good imo. Instead of blood, maybe make it more eerie or game-based, like glitching perhaps? Some characters like the zombie characters could have their descriptions be expanded, like instead of "BrawlBRSTMs3X (as a Toad)", say "BrawlBRSTMs3X looked like a dull orange toad, with B letters in the spots on their rotting head." There are also some unrealistic details, like how would a emulated SNES game show EVERY NINTENDO CHARACTER? Try lowering the large number of characters being represented, or say something like "Suddenly, the Switch opened up a new game that looked to be running on Super Mario Odyssey's engine." That way, it becomes much more believable! Also, try and make speaking characters like Kirby and Mario feel more real by making them more confused or scared, watching other characters be erased from history, and not being able to stop it. The dark character could've been described more as well, for foreshadowing. Really, all this story needs is a lot more detail, and this story would be perfect! Keep working hard, dude, because there ain't enough Nintendo pastas in this world, and I really do like this idea, and I want to see it expanded and elaborated on!

P.S. Is the purple woman at the end a reference to something, or is she purely original? If the latter, is she part of a bigger story? Thanks in advance!