Talk:Immaterial/@comment-13205380-20131001052357

I don't know how to take this... Do I treat it like a poem? A couple lyrics from a band? A spoken dirge?

Anyway this comes off as...not quite "goth" poetry-like, but along the lines of something fueled by much angst and anxiety. I felt some of the descriptive imagry was to vague or nonsensical, especially in the first line.

This isn't bad, not by a long shot, but I don't agree with it being a 10/10. I guess I just don't feel there is much context to this besides the concept of death. I'll grant you the last 2 lines did have me thinking of something Lovecraft wrote, but then it just ends abruptly.

I don't hate it, I don't think it's bad, but it's not perfect. A strong 7/10 in my view