Talk:The Possession/@comment-25021327-20140620235130

I thought this pasta was fairly well written, aside from a few spelling/grammar issues, but I try not to be too much of a hardon about that stuff since I can proofread one of my own stories 35 times and still not catch mistakes.

I thought the pacing was nice, and pretty consistent until the end. The descriptions worked for me, and the story was pretty formulaic as far as gaming creepypastas go, but that's not really a bad thing.

Now I come to the bit I'm going back and forth on, the reveal/climax. I really do like how realistically the situation was described, as there were no ghosts dancing around, or NPC with black, bleeding eye sockets. That being said, It's hard for me as a reader to imagine the image you explained, Disyen rising from the still waters and approaching the playable character, driving a player to freak out as much as the narrator did. In an open world type game like that, there are bound to be tons of sick, or ghastly mods available. So I'm a little torn about it!

That said, you did explain that this gamer was new to using mods and wasn't expecting to see something so gruesome on what he thought was just a custom quest. Also, you added the parts about the Disyen character occupying the desktop background of the laptop afterward, which I like, as it is creepy, yet (I feel) still well within the realm of believability. Like maybe the mod had a virus or effed up the coputer.

So for me, I did enjoy this. I would have liked to see a more gradual buildup to the reveal, as it felt a bit jarring to me, but maybe that's just a personal gripe. Until next time, be careful downloading those mods ;)