Talk:Come Home/@comment-6418997-20131022040047

This was a really great pasta. It's right up there with For Sandra( is better) now before I begin my review this actully scared me more than it would for normal people, simply because the little girls name is my nickname that my parents say when they are really sad. With that said lets begin,

protagonist- he is pretty realistic, sometimes we as people don't realize what we have until we lose it. Which is also the biggest flaw in the character if he loved his daughter so much he wouldn't have judged his daughter to begin with. But are a few people in the world that are like that. 7/10.

Antagonist- wow is this one good, you could say that the antagoist is the little girl but I think it's actully the dad. In a way he was the one who started this to begin with so it is kinda of his fault. Sorry if thats not what you were doing, but if it was that was a great idea. 9/10.

Story- very good, I like the concept he hates the fact that this is his fault and he starts to slowly tear himself apart.9/10

presented- very good until I got to the end, I don't think the little girl should have actually showed up I think it would be more powerful if you just made him commit suicide, or you show how he's trying to say sorry but his daughter won't forgive him because he already has in his mind that she won't forgive him. 8/10.

overall- very good story that I actually quite enjoyed a little bit more work and this could be amazing! :D 8.7/10