Talk:Just an Average Day/@comment-6794436-20150128222836

I thought this would be incredible... I thought...

Good: This pasta was paced very well, and left me wondering what would happen next. You also wrote this impeccably, with great word choice and with very few grammatical errors. Also, your descriptions were great, and the way you wrote it made the pasta seem like it was actually real.. well, that is, until the climax/ending.

Bad: This pasta was shaping up to be excellent, that is, until the ending. The story just changed so drastically so abruptly that it just really killed the mood and ruined the creepiness and suspence. It was like, one moment he's normal, the next he is a sadist! The ending also feels a bit rushed, and killing yourself at the end I feel was a bit of a cop out. This pasta had the potential to be something amazing, but it just failed when it came to the ending. You at least could have made the character gradually enjoy killing more and more as the story went on, until he eventually began loving it so much he decided to use it on innocents. Furthermore, you could have done some interrogation scenes between the narrator and the police, leading to a death sentence and then, when he's on the electric chair or about to get a lethal injection, he should say, "I regret nothing".

Verdict: 6/10- From a writing standpoint this was impeccable, but the ending was such a dissappointment that I had to mark it down more. However, you definitely should continue writing as even still, this was an engaging story that left me on the edge the entire time. (Well, except for the ending of course) Endings can either make or break a story, and in this case, it broke it.

-Incorrect3