Talk:Night Time/@comment-5675310-20140714065443

Night Time reads for the night time chills.

Description: 3.5/10 - This entire story would have been better if only it were described better. You use very simplistic words, which is fine, but none of them really feel effective. When you make a pasta that relies so heavily on the 'ew' factor, you need to choose every word extremely carefully and go into every single gruesome detail. Take your time, think hard on what might creep the reader out the most, then write it down. Now, there were many grammatical errors in this, and really did boggle down the experience a bit. I might be able to help with that if you would let me.

Plot: 4.0/10 - Well, it's clichéd to tell you the truth. Nothing in here is original, and writing in the killer's perspective makes the whole thing seem less cryptic and tense, ruining the whole atmosphere of someone being in your home a little bit. That said, you actually did have me for a second there at the end with the whole, "I'm finding my next victim as we speak. Oh, why the long face now? You had it coming." However, the last two sentences took me completely out of the atmosphere and idea of the story. I still have my head, at least I think I do.

Entertainment: 5.0/10 - If you can wait for that last little segment at the end, it might be worth it for you; but it just might not be.

Pros and Cons:

+ It actually creeped me out for a moment

- Poor detail

- Cliché

Overall: 4.3/10 - Bad.

"There's a brief moment where you might be having legitimate chills, but if you can't wait it out through the poor execution, then it's just not worth it."

- Marcus