Talk:The Way Things Were Supposed to Be/@comment-24240632-20130908172430

The way this story should've gone...

Description: 4.0/10 - I didn't find anything special at all here, and everything felt so vaguely described. There is so much more potential here, but it seems that you never tapped into it, and when you were describing things you seemed to use the same word that you used last sentence over. That may be okay a few times, but it felt like you did that too often here. This story was also laced with many grammatical and spelling errors. Like when you said: "I ran as fast as I can" Instead since this is telling a story that happened in the past it should be a past tense like: "I ran as fast as I could" Also you put a period down before using a "but", which is incorrect. Some sentences were also stretched to the point where they didn't make sense.

Plot: 5.0/10 - I didn't really find anything new here. There's a strange thing that no one can explain and then suddenly it goes on a rampage... Sounds pretty old to me. There's also the fact that you never really explained anything about the "blob" as you called it, which is fine in some cases, but sometimes it can be hard to do, and instead of making the plot interesting it just felt rushed and half baked all because it feels like you just didn't take the time to come with a story for this "blob"

Entertainment: 4.5/10 - To put this blankly... I was bored and I wanted to click away at many parts because I was pulled out of the story by the lackluster plot and bad grammar.

Overall: 4.6/10 - Bad.

"It's hard to find much here except for a lackluster boring story."

- Marcus