Talk:A World Died Crimson.../@comment-11079349-20131224042709

So, this brings to light a possibility that lies within the concept of shinies. This also make me scared, not of the sandslash, but of the possibility of a shiny alakazam or hypno. These are horrifying thoughts when you think of what psychics are able to do. Then again, the concept of a shiny psychic type loses a bit of credibility when you take into account that these pokemon are masters of the mind. sure, they might experience the "fun" of killing and eating others, but they wouldn't allow their minds to be corrupted by it.

So, how much did I like this? Well, there are so many different ways that this could have gone differently ... that would have ruined it. I honestly expected that part of Rai's mind was still going to be there during the first few parts, but I learned my lesson after a short time. That is to say that if you had done it the way I just described, it would have held a very different meaning. That a soul of tainted innocents will still be forced to endure eternal punishment for horrible sins is a great concept for a creepypasta. Now, I said there were so many other ways that would have ruined it, and I don't want to get into them.

My point is that I liked it. I'd give it a good 8/10 because it felt like it was supposed to have some sort of less happy ending for Crimson at the end, but it was still good.

Oh yes, the realism in this is obviously set to zero, meaning this is basically a bedtime story made to scare children. Now be a good little child or Crimson the slasher will kill all of your pokemon games. Sorry, I had to add that little joke there. So I'm basically noting what makes this a little less "creepy" and a little more "slightly disturbing", that's all.

One more thing, I liked the use of the blood in most cases, though you went a bit too far in describing the gore is others. I'm not saying it took away too much, as the overall story wasn't ruined. I'm simply saying that sometimes you were focusing too much on the gore.

And the final thing, I was wondering if I could use the concept here for my own creepypasta. It would more or less be the same thing, but I would put my own twist on the story and use a different pokemon. I'd give you credit for the original concept.