Talk:Messi Is Dead - a FIFA 15 Creepypasta/@comment-25021327-20150102005039

Well, let's see. I can see why people would feel this was cliché. This pasta has its fair share of familiar moments (The game cover missing a character is one I've seen before, the bleeding eyeless sockets are fairly common in gaming pastas, as is a game blaming the player for things). Having cliché moments isn;t an automatic death sentence for a story in my book.

I thought that although the story felt a little tired here, the writing wasn't too badly done. I've never played a FIFA game, but I could pretty much imagine what was being described in terms of gameplay, and menu options. The pacing of the story felt relatively consistent, and worked with the length. I feel the style is stronger than the content here.

The actual story seemed a bit silly to me, and I felt more amused than scared reading it. I understand that if this was actually happening to someone, it would be unnerving, but I guess I was just having trouble putting myself into the narrator's shoes. The parts about destroying the game, and never wanting to play a FIFA game again were sort of cliché as well, and I didn't quite relate to the protagonist's motivations. I would probably have gone to the shop and asked what the hell kind of game he sold me, I probably would have called a friend about the weird occurrances as well.... but I degress.

Like I said, the writing here is actually in pretty good shape. Things make sense, spelling, clarity and grammar all seem to be in good shape (a few typos here and there, but nothing too distracting) I just feel that the story itself feels tired and not terribly original. Though I appreciate your trying out a Creepypasta based on a Football video game, that seems like it would be hard to pull off.