User blog comment:VikingFyre/Apathy/@comment-7706473-20130915094742

So long as the next blog you post doesn't end with you talking about a new job offer in a remote village in the depths of a far-away island chain that you and your gf are going to, I'll promise not to worry too much!..

Jokes and references to past stories aside, it's perfectly normal to feel this way, though I won't try to use my normal verbosity to hide the fact it's terrible, unpleasant, and most of all... I don't know, unshakeable. I've never felt apathetic, exactly - but the feelings you describe, of a sense of beaten-downness, I am very familiar with indeed.

... Recently, I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be happy. I've come to the conclusion that happiness isn't an attainable state, but fleeting fragments of better moments and moments yet to come - something that should be treasured, because of how unattainable it is when we need it most. But at the same time - I think, hope that things change and try as I can to change, myself.

For these feelings - doldrums, really - seem to haunt me most when I am calcifying. When I've given into the idea that there is nothing to do and that world will ultimately grow as static as I am. That's not to say you should shrug it off with a smile (ha, for that is the last advice I'd give anyone!) - or even that you operate similar to I - but at the same time... Look for things, new things that might even make you uncomfortable. I guess that's one of the reasons we're here, after all - a love, an interest in uncomfortable things.

Well, that was a lot of words, probably not of too much help right now - so I'll boil it down to something more manageable, heh. Melodrama or no, verbose or no - this is how you feel, and sharing feelings is strong. I hope this helped somewhat - either to write or to listen to, and I hope that things improve for you - and soon.