Talk:El Hombre Esponja/@comment-38254481-20190122231946

This creepypasta is one that I think is very interesting, to be honest. The subject matter of a creepy dub of a cartoon is one that I haven't even seen until now. Most stories about cartoons are about lost episodes from what I've seen. Honestly, this is a great story with some creative ideas.

The first props I give to this is giving more detail on how the main character knows about the dub than other stories about creepy cartoons. It's creative to see that the dub's not from some local flea market or secret tapes in a warehouse from somewhere, but was openly around for some time for many people to see. Another thing I like about this is the episode contents themselves in the dub. The creepy parts of it give it an unnatural vibe, using creative ways to scare the viewer. What's also interesting is how the dubs only are about Season 1 episodes of Spongebob Squarepants, which had rougher animation than the other seasons. It's a good choice, to be honest.

One flaw I find with the story is the whole demonic aspect of gjo, the person who's somewhat of a villian of the story. Many stories go for the whole demon aspect, often for shock value. It's a cliche that's been done many times. I think the story would've been better if gjo was one of the employees of Dynamo, who was the one who stopped the dub from appearing due to its effects it had on the children. Maybe have him chat with the narrator on what the dubs had contained and more details on Dynamo: what operations they had done, how and why they made the dubs so weird. Maybe at the end, the narrator's implied that he was kidnapped by other employees of Dynamo. Basically, I think it would've been better if the corporation Dynamo was the villian and not gjo.

Of course, this is all my opinion on the subject matter, and it's okay for you to not go with what I said about the improvements. After all, this is your story. ;)

Overall, I'll give this story an 9/10. Very creative ideas and few flaws.