Tenebris

I feel stuck.

Trapped.

I feel contained in a small can that I can't open.

My mind is going in circles again.

My head feels heavy,

But I'm trying not to fall asleep.

I'm not even sure if I can fall asleep again.

My eyes.

I'm not even sure if they're open or not.

Either way, I'm trying not to close them in case I see something new.

Eyelids.

Do I have eyelids?

Do I even have a body?

Or a heart?

Or a soul?

I have remorse, and regret, and sorrow.

I have emotions.

But emotions come from the brain, not from the heart.

And I have a brain, I know that.

I have life.

I feel like a door needs to opened.

A void needs to be filled.

Everyday I sit idly by my glass window and see the few pass by without a word.

They trudge on like dogs through the thick of the void, gripped with terror.

They can see me, feel me, hear me.

But they won't touch me or notice me.

I latch on to my hope.

I latch on to their fear.

Anticipation.

Maybe someone will stick around so all my hard work won't go to waste.

Maybe.

They're shaking.

Neon blood in their veins.

The pendulum swings closer and closer and closer.

They bend and they chew.

Leaning back into oblivion.

I can't see daylight.

No light.

Curled up on the bathroom floor.

I wish I could feel the wind.

Through my hair.

My hair?

And past my ears.

I can't hear the sounds now, can I?

Happy birthday.

Awaiting your deconstruction.

And you fall.

From the high cliff into the void.

Wear the mask.

Wear it.

This is a building you haven't seen before.

You feel small inside that alien womb, don't you?

Tortured by the silent apocalypse.

Blood on a rusty chain.

Suffer.

Can you hear me?

The chair and the rope are your escape route.

You've locked your keys inside your car again.

Don't go into my house.

Don't go into my room.

Don't.

You shouldn't have done that.

I feel lost.

Empty.

And cold.

So cold....

I'm sorry.

Forgive me.

I'm scared.