Talk:No Matter the Cost/@comment-25021327-20140625150359

Not too shabby :) I think it's kind of difficult to compare it to IWLY, since this is now a totally new story, and will probably have it's own distinct feel. And I feel that's a good thing! This is a nice set up for what is to come, reintroducing the alabaster skinned creatures, and expanding on their motives. It will be interesting to see how Tyrin deals with what he just agreed to, and what kind of personality Lonliness has once his curse is lifted.

I did find some issues with the technical side though. I felt like the narrative switched between present, and past tense a bit. I understood everything that was going on, but I personally found it a bit distracting. There was a line,'' " Lonliness finally looks back up to Tyrin again and lets out a small and hopeful, the ghosts rolling their eyes as they were less than impressed."    '' That appears to be missing a word. And In the beginning it reads ''"...stars and consolations..." ''Is that meant to be constellations?

In any case, I'm sorry to be nitpicky, however when the formatting and grammar start being critiqued, it means that the meat and potatoes of the story is solid. I'm looking forward to continuing this series. Keep up the good work!