Talk:The Home Run Killer : The Good Old Days/@comment-25021327-20150413205551

Ah, part two of the ongoing saga :3 This one certainly continues what the first story set up in terms of murder and mayhem, and we get to know a tiny bit more about Tulo. I liked that we do only get a little more backstory of the titular Home Run Killer, I tend to prefer when these things are given away little bits at a time rather than with large lumps of history and exposition.

I enjpyed that the theme of sending videos of his crimes continued in this one. That was one of my favorite bits of the last story. Although I found it a little strange in the home video that we're seeing this blond, teen character who the narrator abruptly calls Alexei. Up to that point we don't know who Alexei is, and when the character is addressed as such, it felt a little jarring to me. Aside from that, I was glad that the descriptions didn't attempt to one-up the violence and gore from the last story. Tulo seemed a bit less superhuman in this one, which I like as well.

The story as a whole seems t move more quickly than the previous one, and I would have liked to see this one go a bit more in depth concerning the characters. Although Mark becomes an integral part f the story in the climax, his introduction felt a little rushed to me. Also, the interaction on the old video tape was a bit confusing, though I imagine that more about this, and Tulo's backstory in general is explained in the next installment.

There were some issues here that could use another proofreading, but nothing too distracting. The formatting felt a little strange to me. There are large portions of text that are bold, and sometimes both bold and italicized, and I felt that it took me out of the reading a few times. I understand that these are used to identify dialogue, actions, and internal onologue, but I couldn't quite figure out why certain things were formatted the way they were.

Though you incorporated some new elements here, it still felt a little derivative. The formula felt pretty similar to the original. All that said, I did enjoy reading this. Tulo seems even more psychologically unglued in this one, like he's losing his mind, which would account for how he acts in this one compared to the first story. The Baseball theme still worked for me in this one, a mixture of campy and sinister feelings. In all I thought this was a pretty fun read :)