Talk:Living in the Game/@comment-28652453-20160725225132

(Please note that I am writing this at 11:23 PM, so if there are any errors, its because I am awfully tired)

My "CENSORED" god, this story is bad!

The concept is a intriguing one, its just the vile grammer that makes it bad, I highly recommend that you go through the story and fix all the grammer errors(Also remove the point where the sod that is stuck in the game(Who shall be called brian) knows Michael's name, its cliche(In my opinion it is okay? look I can not remember what the list of cliche in pastas said and I will look it up tomorrow and even after looking it up I will still consider it cliche because it is not stated in the rules that you have to follow that list and not use your own opinion on stuff that you consider cliche(If there is, sorry I must of missed it))).

'''In general it is bad, thanks to the bad grammer.... 4.0/10.0!'''

Now I am going to pass out (WHY AM I SO TIRED! ALL I DID WAS LEAVE MY HOUSE!).

Also I do believe that you can not friend people on minecraft, then again I did stop playing it after microsoft brought out mojang, no not because they brought mojang out, its because I was bored of it.

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