Talk:I Won't Leave You/@comment-7706473-20130404023942

Hmn... I could tell this originated as a play-by-post almost instantly. There are two major complaints I have, and I'll get them out of the way first. One - the tense kind of wobbles around and although that doesn't really bother me (I have an unusual writing/reading style) it is something I know some readers have a hard time parsing. Two - though it's of a good length, the story itself feels a bit rushed to me. I feel this would be more effective split into several short stories that stretch out the segments, one for roughly each 'act' of the story. As it is, the story seems to move very quickly - which isn't bad, but like you said; it's not really a creepypasta... So much it is a 'classic' ghost story.

And as that, it works very well! I haven't read Abandon Lonliness, but I enjoyed the characters of Tyrin and Lonely and felt their interaction was very strong - strong enough to make the creepy elements more hard-hitting when they occurred. Though I can't rightly say this is good as a pure creepypasta, as a sorrowpasta, if you will, it was quite good.