Talk:Everything Dies/@comment-13205380-20130830044426

This story is offensive :D just kidding

needs some fine tuning in that around the second or third paragraph it was easy to deduce. I think if you had dropped hints that the pokemon in the story was something else it would have made the obvious seem less so.

Far from your best, but it didn't hurt my eyes to read or make me want to strangle a teacher for failing at their job.