Talk:Symphony of Life/@comment-6794436-20141202012458

This was a pretty good concept, but it could have been executed a bit better.

First I'll get the cons out of the way. For one thing, there are many errors with commas, as they appear to be seldom used, making the flow seem a bit choppy and creating sentances that are waay to short. Another thing is that the concept of the story is good, but as I just mentioned, it could have been executed a bit better. There were very few grammar mistakes when it came to capitalization, but there were still a bit too many. Sometimes the paragraphs were also written a bit confusingly and could use a quick proofread.

Now, the pros. Your descriptions and word choice were great and well thought out. I can really picture every scene that you mention and that really helps the story. The story is fairly creepy, and is welll thought out.

Verdict: 7/10- The story has too many flaws to be an 8 or 9, but it is still a good story and all it really needs is a good proofreading and it might be able ot be bumped up to an 8. Still, this was  a good story and your writing chops definitely show in this peice.

-Incorrect3