Talk:April 12th Mind Story/@comment-6794436-20150102234754

Holy shit is this good. I must thank you for asking me to read this!

First, the good: This story is nearly perfect in every aspect. The story was incredible and left me on the edge of my seat thinking about what would happen next. Hell, I even ended up yelling at my computer for Martin to wisen up and see that something was wrong! All in all, the suspense and mystery in this story was executed perfectly.

From a grammar standpoint I only caught one or two typos, and a few instances where commas would be needed to stop a run on sentences. However, those small grammar mistakes do nothing to ruin the story at all. The idea for the story is unique, and because of this, not cliched at all. One more thing I must mention is your superb writing and descriptive skills. Even without the pictures of "Helena" I would be able to imagine her nearly perfectly.

Now, for the small amount of bad: There was only one bad thing that I noticed other than the few grammar issues, and that was that I somewhat knew how this would end at about the 4th date. As the story went on, it became a bit clear that Helena didn't really exist, albeit the subtle hints weren't too prominent to the point where it was obvious.

However, once Martin came across the notes about the research, I knew that Helena was in his imagination, although I will admit that I didn't think he had full blown schizophrenia (sorry if I butchered the spelling)

Verdict: 9/10- A near perfect pasta that is only brought down from a 10/10 because of the small grammar errors and the small amount of predictability. Still, this pasta is definitely one of the best I've read and you definitely have my vote for CPoTM!

-Incorrect3