Baby Daddy Theory

Is anybody out there familiar with this show called "Baby Daddy?" I'm sure you've seen it. You have seen it, right? Well, what if I told you that everything you saw on the show was all part of a book that the main character, Ben, was writing to cope with his depressing life?

Let me explain: once upon a time, Ben was married to this woman named Georgia. She was so beautiful and smart, and they actually seemed to get along great at first. However, he soon learned that she only married him to have a baby. He kept turning her down whenever she offered to have sex with him, which eventually culminated in her brutally raping him and conceiving their daughter Emma in the process. The divorce proceedings began while she was still pregnant and she ultimately won custody of their daughter. Ben was upset that his ex-wife wouldn't let him spend time with his own flesh and blood, so he started writing a book about all the imaginary adventures he and his daughter would go on just for her to read.

He'd always admired family sitcoms growing up; his favorite ones were "Full House," "Growing Pains," "Family Ties," and "The Golden Girls." It was as a child, too, that he knew that he'd grow up to be an author. He'd always longed to write books with plots that managed to solve anything and everything in thirty minutes or less. The longer he'd write, however, the more the book would grow to be about his family in general, specifically his mother Bonnie and his brother Danny.

Bonnie, for instance, had actually been a victim of recurring marital rape when her husband was alive. One instance prior to their marriage and another instance during it resulted in her children. Ben always resented his father for conceiving him and Danny that way, so he was omitted from the book altogether and a joke about her cat eating her birth control was thrown in for levity. He felt that the abuse he and his brother had gotten when they were kids was because she'd never truly gotten over being raped so many times over the course of her marriage. Thus, he never bothered to address the subject in the first place. Instead, he gave her personality a total 180 and made her the silly mom viewers are used to on the show. She was also a lesbian who only married her husband because she happened to be pregnant with Ben at the time, but for some reason, Ben always imagined her with other guys.

Meanwhile, Danny and Riley's baby actually died in the womb, hence why he has no name in the finale. Danny was so devastated by the stillbirth of his son that he started drinking heavily as a way of coping with the pain. (It didn't help matters that his brother worked as a bartender.) Eventually, his alcoholism got to the point where it drove Riley away from him and into the arms of another man. Ben thought that his brother's downward spiral was too depressing, however, and so he gave him a happier ending instead.

Things changed for the worse shortly after Emma's third birthday. She started complaining about headaches and how she was always tired. It wasn't until the doctors had discovered a tumor the size of a grapefruit that she was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Even when it was apparent that their daughter was going to die, Georgia still refused to let her ex-husband visit her. To say that Ben was utterly heartbroken that he wouldn't be there for his daughter's last days on Earth would be an understatement. Emma would later pass away at the age of five, the same age she would've been when the show was cancelled. Her last wish was to have a Disney Princess-themed funeral.

With his primary motivation for writing the book now gone, Ben shelved the project and then killed himself a few days later.

Dinatimus