Talk:Pokemon 666/@comment-8470110-20131215190017

It was in an interesting concept to have Vivillon control people and have them do what it wants. It adds some mystery to the innocent-looking Pokémon and makes you wonder what's going on inside its head. However, the execution could have been better. The detail of the story was well done, as I could clearly see the world you were creating. The pacing, on the other hand, could've been handled with a little more care. The story felt rushed and because of its length, there is little room for build-up. When Vivillon's trainer gets murdered, it feels more out of place rather that adding to the pasta. The ending was good, but I know that you can make it more satisfying.

To make this pasta better: add more build-up, expand on the story's concept, add a little extra detail

Rating: 6/10 (Decent)

-Sshakenbakee (Cameron S.)