Talk:SuperHot:Alpha/@comment-25021327-20160302125523

This one is pretty short, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it also feels a little rushed. The setup is a little cliché, what with the narrator being a game tester on some prototype version of the game, that could work, but here it felt kind of glossed over, or thrown together.

The plot is pretty easy to catch, maybe a little too easy. The fact that this one is so short doesn;t give much time to build tension for the reader. We figure out what is going on with the player "controlling" the real life killer, and are left wondering why he continues to play despite the warning signs of the approaching murdered. I understand that he just thought that he was hearing noises from the game, but that still seems a little odd to me.

The spelling and grammar aren't too bad, and this is formatted well. A few spaces are missing, there are some randomly capitalized words throughout, and some proper nouns that should be capitalized and aren't (Fallout, Superhot). Nothing too distracting, but another proofread might help :)

One other thing I'd just lie to point out is something towards the end of the pasta. The narrator says he grabs his computer, which is heavy. Did he bring his entire desktop PC to this testing facility? I would have imagined that they would have provided the computers, or he would have had his much lighter laptop with him. Just something I noticed.

In all, I think that this one would benefit from being a little longer and more detailed. I liked the descriptions of the gameplay, despite how brief they were. Reading about the red square enemy placeholders was kind of cool, as this is an unfinished game. As a whle this one felt kind of lacking to me. Sorry if this review was harsh or discouraging