Talk:Ash and Pikachu/@comment-5675310-20140611234737

Ash and Pikachu, those are indeed two names in a T.V. show. I... Have no witty comment for this one.

Description: 6.0/10 - Not actually terrible, a little vague at moments yeah, but not bad. There were some grammatical errors here and there, but nothing that stood out too much. Other than that, I think that it's very important in any creepy story to provide the reader with a nice image of any kind of grotesque or disturbing scene. That way, it might just stick with the reader a little longer. I think you could have done better in that regard, but it's not bad as is.

Plot: 3.5/10 - Let me just say this, scrap the entire idea. It's cliched, ludicrously unbelievable, and completely rushed out the door, it's obvious. The point of a creepypasta is to make you think, shiver when someone turns out the lights, to give you chills when you're walking down the sidewalk; not to make people laugh at the horrible plot. I'm not trying to be mean here, but it feels like you looked at every clone of Jeff the Killer, mutilated the idea and made it even more cliched by smacking a lost episode tag on it. Listen, you're not a bad writer, it's obvious, just try to think a little harder next time for those hard hitting ideas.

Entertainment: 4.0/10 - It's short, but not so sweet.

Pros and Cons:

+ Decent writing

- Poor plot

- Needs more detail

- Boring

Overall: 4.4/10 - Bad.

"It has decent writing, and with that writing the author has the potential to make a really good story. However, when it comes to Ash and Pikachu, just turn away and walk."