Talk:The White Raven Who Calls For Me/@comment-25021327-20150619123545/@comment-25021327-20150620142656

The pages have been combined into one story, which is good. I think this could still use some work though at this point. It is a little hard to follow at the beginning. The narrator is reading a, then having visions, then he is in his bed dreaming (he may be drunk) That's what I was able to put together from the reading, but I'm not sure if I missed something or not.

One thing I would suggest would be to standardize the tense that the story is written in, it is mostly in past tense (I said, I did, I looked, etc) which is good, but sometimes slips into present tense (I see, I take, I look, etc) which takes me (just personally) out of the reading a little bit.

I'm gonna leave the Needs Work tag for awhile at this point, until this can be cleaned up a little more.