Talk:START ME UP/@comment-24685180-20150103075437

This Was bad.....I could barely follow the story. It jumped around like one minute you were writing about the computer then Sonic.

Even the parts I could follow it was bad. Especially mentioning  (.Exe) its not a big deal but it sooo overused it couldn't possibly work (I make an exception for Run.exe). But thats beside the point. The grammar was atrocious I went through and tried to capitalize all the I's. It began off as a wall of text but I fixed it (you can undo if you please).

The only thing I really liked was you didn't get the computer from a 3 eyed moonshiner (American Dad refrence). But the rest was very cliché. The name START ME UP didn't make sence...but again I could barely follow the story.

The things I would change was make the story easy to follow and capitalize all the I's and make the clichés work or take them out and I will give it a second read.

-Rev