Talk:Looking In/@comment-25021327-20141212031833

The tone of this one reminded me of a dtory from those short ghost story volumes, with their gruesome black and white illustrations, that were always checked out from the library. It has that tone of a traditional ghost story, which I  pretty much liked in this reading.

It's a fairly standard man-in-the-window story, and that's okay every now and again. And though this tale didn't necesarrily do anything groundbreakingly original, neither did it really do anything wrong either.

There were a few thing of which I made note. The opening paragraphs began to feel repetitive to me with "his x, his y, his z,. he does this, and this..." etc. I think you have some interesting descriptions and they help the reader make a visual, but maybe they could be presented in some different ways.

I was able to figure out the number code fairly easily, which isn;t a bad thing, but makes me wonder a bit why the narrator had such trouble deciphering it. I'm a little interested to try to find out if the time/date has any significance either inside or outside of this story, aside from being (presumably) the narrator's time of death.

A minor thing for me was that I found myself wanting to know how old this character was, and how long this had been happening to him. It really doesn't have much bearing on the story, but that question kept itching at the back of my brain as I read.

The story is story and quick enough to make it a pretty fun read, it is paced pretty quickly and evenly. A tale like this one can sometimes benefit from being longer and more in dept with certain things, but it's also safe to keep it short, and leave things up to the reader. Sometimes this kind of story can get too wordy and leave the reader wanting more action.

Spelling, grammar, format, and clarity were in pretty good shape, though I thought a few wordings were odd, but not too distracting. I like seeing the regulars posting stories, as they tend to be more consistently easy to read than the glut of new pastas we get from time to time.

For what this was, it is a nice little spooky read, that is fairly accessible. A pretty fun little campfire story :)