Talk:Beatlebronx28/@comment-16328098-20140911152207

This was actually a rather interesting creepypasta, up until the ending. Its different for once. Its not a "haunted game" or anything like that. It was just a simple missing door glitch and a request on a fan forum to help. I liked the slow buildup, and the realistic nature it had in what was going on. However, the ending kinda ruins the whole feel for me. It would of been much more interesting if beatlebronx simply disappeared after the "1 day left", instead of suddenly revealing it was the creator and she was dead. It felt a bit silly and ruined the believable feel. It would of been much more creepy if it involved her acting perfectly normal after the "1 day left" message, and simply disappearing without a trace afterwards. Maybe with some cryptic hint on her profile page. Overall, this is a pretty good creepypasta, and I would rate it 7/10. If you changed the ending, this could be one of the best game related creepypastas in a while.

Orginality: 8/10(Lacked most cliches and was very different from other video game related creepypastas, but the ending was far from orginal)

Writing/Grammar: 9/10(Im not the 100% best at grammar, so I can't give a honest 10/10, but from what I saw it lacked any massive and obvious errors in both spelling and grammar, and was very easy to read, comparied to most giant walls of text)

Creepiness Factor: 7/10(the story got creepy pretty fast, but the ending kinda brought it all to a screeching halt. The main reason this story was creepy was due to how mysterious it was. The fact the ending tells us right to our face what happened to beatlebronx ruins that)

Overall: 7.5/10. With a few changes to the ending, could be amazing and an easy 8 or 9