Talk:Missing the Mark/@comment-25021327-20150929004459

I thought that this one was pretty interesting. It's a little different from the typical creepypasta stories I've read, and though not necessarily very creepy, it has a dark tone. The writing and style felt pretty good, and I was intrigued to keep reading to see what happened in the tale.

The pacing worked well for me, it felt very consistent to me throughout the piece, and it didn;t seem to drag at any points. I thought that the characters were pretty good for as much as we get to know them in this short story. I was genuinely interested to find out more about Mark, but I also like that things were kept intentionally vague, leaving things up to the reader.

There were a few spots where I thought that the wording was a little strange, or maybe there was a typo (    and thought his smelling cranium would burst if any more liquid rushed to his head.   I imagine you maybe meant "Swelling" there, and the word "facility" seems to be used where the term "Faculty" might be more appropriate) But these weren;t too terribly distracting.

In all I thought this was a pretty nicely done story, not the creepiest, but still interesting, and it kept me reading. Certainly pretty good as far a first-creepypastas go :)