Talk:Who's the Genius Now? (Reboot)/@comment-7706473-20131107084738

Hastur! Oh, wait, shouldn't have said that - whatever, I care not. Hrmn, what to say... This pasta felt rushed to me - not rushed as in the dialogue was too short, or the length wasn't right, but that the plot escalated really quickly. The narrator is angry and inempathic at the beginning, and we don't really see any changes in them besides the ending, and the transformation is very, very abrupt. The shock at the end is pretty nice, but without a good sense of build-up, feels... Again, a bit rushed.

That being said, I like the premise well enough, even if the narrator reassuring us the game was normal at the beginning damaged my immersion, hah. I don't know what I'd change or recommend changing - it just wasn't entirely to my tastes. That being said - not a bad little story, and the phrasing of the last sentances worked very well indeed.