Banjo-kazooie: work and play

October 16th, 2017

I don’t know if what I experienced was real or just another hallucination, but what I can say is that it was not a pretty sight. Let’s begin at the very start. ever since I was a child. Around 4 or 5 years old, I loved and I mean LOVED the everlasting hell out of Nintendo 64 games, I wasn’t able to play many due to my Nintendo 64 breaking and the games being sold. My two favourite games for the Nintendo 64 were super Mario 64 and Banjo-Kazooie. Thinking about it now, those two were my ONLY favourite and anyone could simply call out favouritism. Anyways, around a few years ago, my parents found a haul of Nintendo 64 games, one of them being banjo-kazooie. I recently set up my Nintendo 64 again and had the desire to play banjo-kazooie again. It was getting late so I decided I’d get some sleep first

October 17th 2017

I woke up and quickly turned on my Nintendo 64, I can recall placing the cartridge last night, I was so excited to play this game again. The N64 logo and Rareware logo played, nothing strange happened. That was until I pressed start, I saw the screen flicker ever so slightly. The game title played and everything was normal until a few minutes in, I got to the part where the mole character (I forgot his name) was teaching banjo specific techniques in the game. I paused the game before the mole character had dove back into his hole in order to get something to eat and drink.

I came back with a bag of crisps and a cup of latté in each hand. I heard some mauling noises and thought it would be safe to not look towards my TV, I placed the cup of latté and bag of crisps on my desk and hesitantly looked toward my TV, I saw banjo mauling the mole character to death. I finally gained the courage to say something very silently “Oh…my…god.” I found it rather cliché that banjo would hear me…but he did, he quickly moved his head towards the TV. A loud banging sound played. I jumped backward and bashed my head on the wall. I yelled and rushed to the Nintendo 64. I switched it off and called it a night

October 18th 2017

I woke up and glared at the Nintendo 64 as well as the TV. I sighed and switched it on. The screen still showed banjo mauling at the mole character. I got up and gained the courage to say one question “What the Fuck are you doing?!” Right after I said that. Banjo glared directly at the screen, loud bang and all. I just stood there in anger, not saying a thing. Internet creeypastas got to me before this happened so I thought it would be smart to stand my ground “Say something!” I yelled “You recognised what I asked earlier!” I continued. Banjo’s speaking sound played with text saying “This is what you get for abandoning me for years”. The text continued “you spent all of your time on that computer doing so much work and not playing. This has made you become such a dull boy” I quickly shot back with a response “I play whenever the fuck I want, I work in order to get somewhere in life” Banjo had continued to maul the mole character and quickly went on to mauling on the other characters. I rushed to the Nintendo 64, turned it off, ripped out the cartridge, grabbed a baseball bat and walked out to the front of my house, I began smashing the cartridge, after I thought I did enough smashing, I smothered it with oil, lit a match and threw the lit match at the cartridge, after two minutes and thirty seconds, I got some water and put the fire out. I began stamping on the remains of the cartridge for nearly five or so minutes. I got on my knees and started panting loudly and quickly. I stopped panting, picked up the remains of the cartridge, took it into my room, placed it into a box and hid it away

October 23rd 2017

It has been five days since I played that demented video game and I’ve started to wonder if I was just hallucinating after working too much. I placed my Nintendo 64 on my desk and disassembled it to see if there was any damage done. You know, just to be on the safe side. I reassembled the system and placed on a shelf. I saw a folded note on my desk. I sat down and unfolded the note and it said one sentence

“All work and no play makes jack a dull boy”

I wasn’t surprised and just to clarify, my name is not jack.