Talk:The Ghost of My Dead Girlfriend/@comment-25021327-20141205035813

This feels like it has potential. The concept could be interesting, and some of the buildup is okay. I felt like toward the end, it kind of got silly, then just ended.

I understand about the memory/ghost of the grilfriend wanting the narrator to move on. And it's interesting that her motives may not be entirely altruistic, maybe his constant thinking about her in some way tortures her immortal soul, or keeps her in a kind of purgatory. So that in addition to wanting her boyfriend to be happy and move on, she wants to be set free.

The way the story is now, that concept is barely hinted at. Instead, we get what appears to be a loving ghost trying to comfort her surviving lover, who quickly starts yelling, and choking him. It feel very abrupt to me.

But in any case, not terrible, but could use a little finesse.