Talk:Site ex9783r/@comment-25021327-20150808221226

Pretty standard stuff here, a lot of things I've seen in other pastas, but that's not always a dealbreaker. There seems to be a flurry of Deep-Web themed pastas coming since Muta started those videos :3

Anyway, I'm having trouble finding stuff to say about this one, the idea, although done before, has promise, and the execution isn't too bad. Mostly this felt kinda run-of-the-mill; 2 buddies go on the web, they find a weird site, use the site against their better judgement, bad stuff happens. This one just threw in the deep web and the video element.

It's pretty short, and the pacing works with the length. The descriptions are okay too.

I think this page could use some better dialogue formatting, as it starts to run together when it's bunched in the paragraphs like that. Also, another run of proofreading would help as well. Stuff like the friend fainting and the narrator throwing his PC out the window were a little silly to me.

In all, this isn;t a bad story, but I feel like it doesn;t stand out too much, and could be easily forgotten or passed by. I hope that this ritique wasn;t too harsh or discouraging