Talk:Attrition of War/@comment-24540056-20140825205727

Review on request:

I can tell you put a lot of work and thought into this creepypasta. The story was solid, there were no evident grammar or spelling errors, although the font was off. This is actually a sign that you did use an outside program to help edit the pasta, and I appreciate you doing that. But there is one thing that is extremely lacking. The creepiness. The ending certainly was worth the buildup and effort put into making this, and was certainly a darker take on {Won't spoil for other readers}. Which, in all honesty, the fact that you were able to flesh out the details of something so innocent was quite mind-boggling. But the overall story wasn't anything that would make me get up in the middle of the night to shut my closet doors. The story alone was chock full of action, and a good solid read, but the horror was near nonexistant. What makes a good creepypasta is making the reader scared, and not just the protaganist. In most stories the only person who is frightened is usually the main character, while the reader takes a backseat and just watched the story unfold. A true, good creepypasta is scary enough to make the reader feel helpless, as if there was something out there that was beyond them. Something that could actually happen, and that the reader had no control over, and let's face it. We're talking about a fantasy world, and a far fetched concept to boot. It just isn't scary. I give it a 6/10. The story was solid, the action was well done and fleshed out, and the ending blew me away. I would've given this pasta a much higher score, except for the fact that horror and creepiness is the main focus of these pieces. Hence the term, CREEPY-pasta.