Talk:Subway 836/@comment-25021327-20141105224614

I thought this was an okay pasta. It's short and fairly easy to read. Pretty standard ghost story stuff, but that's okay. A sparsely populated subway car is a good seeting for a creepy story, in my opinion, although I personally would rather ride with one dead spirit, than a car full of real, living people!

The story pacing felt a little quick to me, but it works for the short length of the pasta. Format looks fine, aside from the one line of dialogue not being italicized. But that's an easy fix. This could use another proof reading, there were a few parts where the wording felt off, and I think there was a spot where a word was repeated. Mostly minor stuff.

I was a little confused by the evil, hooded spirits(?) that started chasing the narrator and his would be girlfriend through the train. But then I figured that maybe they were sent to get Je and take her back to whatever afterlife she had escaped from. I was also wondering about that message that the narrator got from Jen. Did he read it and just not include it in his retelling of the story? Did he just delete it? Maybe he kept it, but never read it.

In my opinion, not too bad.