The Anger Spirit Ritual

The Anger Spirit Ritual is a ritual that is popular in parts of Canada. Discovered 75 years ago, the person who does the ritual, called the performer, does so to take revenge on someone who has done a great personal harm to him or her, who is called the targeted. It also involves summoning a spirit who, if you didn’t guess from the name of this ritual, is called the Anger Sprit. He will then go to the targeted’s house and punish him or her. But enough about what the ritual is. I’ll show you how to be a proper performer.

Things you need:

1.      Any means of starting a fire.

2.      8 pieces of wood each about 3-6 feet long.

3.      Any white liquid. Milk is recommended.

4.      4 poles that are each at least 2 feet tall.

5.      A blanket or sheet around 2-4 feet in diameter.

6.      Four pieces of rope.

7.      A note saying who the person you’re targeting is and what he’s done to offend you.

Note: Because of the requirements of step 3, you must do this ritual on soft ground.

How to perform the ritual:

1.      Arrange the pieces of wood into a hexagon. The inside of the shape will be the Anger Spirit’s portal from his world, which is called the dark realm, to Earth.

2.      Pour the milk or whatever white substance you’re using onto the hexagon. As the Anger Spirit’s world is pitch black, when the portal opens, the white substance will make him able to find it.

3.      Stab the 4 poles into the ground to form a square around the hexagon.

4.      Using the 4 pieces of rope, tie each corner of your blanket or sheet to a pole. This will cause it to hang over the wooden hexagon, and it will be the spot where you light the fire to activate the portal.

5.      Light the blanket or cloth on fire and throw the note in into within 5 seconds of lighting it.

If you’ve followed through all these instructions properly, you will have a blanket on fire hanging over a handful of wood arranged into a hexagon covered with milk. Expect the Anger Sprit to rise from the hexagon and break through the now on-fire blanket. The fire on the blanket will go out, as the Anger Spirit flies toward the targeted’s house in order to punish him. The punishment will vary depending on what the targeted did to offend you:

*If the targeted’s crime was gossiping about you, calling you names, or anything associated with the eyes or mouth, the Anger Sprit will punish him by causing skin to grow across his face.

*If the targeted’s crime was physical injury, the Anger Sprit will make his or her fingers stick together, then fall off.

*If the targeted’s crime was sexual harassment, the Anger Sprit will make him or her start having relationship issues, leading to suicide.

*If the targeted’s crime involved more than one of these, the Anger Sprit will make him or her start suffering from an accelerated version of Alzheimer’s.

What not to do:

*If the targeted’s crime isn’t on the list, don’t attempt this ritual.

* Don’t lie about what the targeted did in favor of a specific punishment.

*Don’t do this during daylight, as the Anger Sprit’s eyes are used to the dark.

*If you don’t throw your note into the fire within 5 seconds, the ritual will fail.

2 Reported cases:

*In Canada, in 1940, a man was found dead. He was never identified, as his facial features disappeared. More accurately, skin grew over his face, presumably leading to suffocation. What made this discovery even odder was that all attempts to cut of the skin to see what his face looked like were unsuccessful. The man’s name, though, was believed to be Albert, as hours before the body was found, a women named Nancy reported that she heard her husband, Albert, choking in the bathroom. The man ran out of the bathroom and away from the house, still choking. Despite being confident of the man’s identity, the police were still baffled as to how skin had grown over his face.

*In 1952, at Gatehouse Max Security Prison, a chief went into a solitary confinement cell to slip food under the door to a prisoner named Edgar Graves, who was sent there a few days ago for fighting with another prisoner. The chief ran from the cell and toward Warden Scott’s office screaming “he’s dead,” over and over again. When questioned, the chief said that he found Graves dead when peeking through the one-way glass window on his door. A nurse was sent to medically examine the body. She reported that its hands were detached. The body looked like it died less than one hour ago, based on how wet the blood on the floor was. In addition to that, the amount of blood on the floor was the equivalent to 2 hours of rapid bleeding.

Final note: Don’t let anyone find out how this ritual works, especially the police.