The Commercial of Doom

Have you ever seen a commercial that you just hate, maybe because its annoying, maybe because its stupid, or maybe because you've seen it hundreds of times. Well, There is a commercial that I hate, and I do not simply hate it. I loathe it with every ounce of my existence. What is this commercial, well its hard to explain. The commercial is about some type of company asking you to invest money in them or something. Its hard to remember the details because of that awful background music. In the background of the commercial they play this music that consists of just three notes, looped for the entire duration of the commercial, and its not one of those short commercials, its a five minute infomercial. So for five minutes straight you would just hear those three notes play over and over again. ordinarily I would just change the channel when this commercial came one, however during the super bowl I had to visit my sick grandmother and couldn't watch the game, so I asked my roommate, Cameron to record it for me. I went to the local restaurant, got some pizza, wings, and sodas, then went back to my college dorm where me and my roommate were going to watch the super bowl recording together. He begins to play the recording and during half time the cursed commercial comes on. This is the point where I would change the channel, but I didn't feel like fast forwarding through the commercials so I figured for once I would sit through the whole thing. The first four minutes was just the three notes being played over and over while a tall, dark haired female would ramble on and on about investing. I was about to fall asleep from boredom, but little did I know that what was about to happen next would keep me from sleeping for a while. At four minutes in the commercial becomes creepy. The music becomes more high pitched, it starts to get squeaky, and at 4:30 The music becomes so high pitched that it is nauseating, it actually broke the glass I was drinking my mountain dew out of. We immediately turn the TV off. I thought I would never have to watch that awful commercial again, but unfortunately the commercial reared its ugly head again when my girlfriend invited me over to her house to watch my super bowl recording. I warned her about the commercial, but she still insisted that I bring a copy of the recording to her house to watch. I put the DVD into her player and begin the recording. We then get to the infamous commercial. I tried to fast forward through the commercial, but it wouldn't let me. The same three notes played over and over again, but this time the high pitched part never happed for whatever reason. I turned the TV off, but the music didn't stop playing. I even unplugged the TV. We could still hear the music crystal clear. We then realized, it wasn't coming from the TV, it was coming from the walls. My girlfriend pulled out some ear muffs from the closet. They didn't work. I tried everything to block the sound, I even duck taped pillows to my ears but I could still hear it. Soon me and my girlfriend started to feel nauseous and dizzy. We knew we had to get out of the house ASAP. We were so dizzy we could barley make it out the door, but we managed to make it out the door and into my girlfriend's car. We decided we would do something to try and forget about what we just witnessed, so we grabbed a bite to eat at the local diner. When we got to the diner I saw a few of my friends there. I asked them if they have seen the commercial and they all replied "no". Which means that somehow this commercial only ended up on my recording. Me and my girlfriend sat across from each other in a booth. Within a few minutes a double bacon cheeseburger, home fries, and large vanilla malt were brought to my table. My girlfriend keeping to her diet ordered fillet mignon and a salad. Just as we were about to dig in we noticed something strange, ominously in the distance we could hear the three notes from the commercial. At first we thought we were imagining it, but no. It kept getting louder as if the music was coming closer. Soon the music filled the diner. I asked my friends if they could hear it and they said "no". Which made me come to the hypothesis that only people who have seen the commercial can hear the music. I needed to test this theory. There was a huge fraternity at the college that I attended. They partied, got completely wasted, had wet T shirt contests, things that college frats do. At one of their "parties" I offered to show them my super bowl recording. They all watched it on the 50" flat screen in the campus party lounge. The party lounge had surround sound with subwoofers so everybody could hear the music perfectly. I then went to the breaker box and cut the power to the party lounge. I went back up to the party lounge with all of the frats. I waited a few minutes, and without a single volt of electricity coming into the party lounge everybody heard the sound perfectly. So as it turns out if you have seen the commercial the music will target you and follow you wherever you go. So now that I have figured out who the music targets I now need to figure out how to get rid of it. First I tried destroying the DVD. It didn't work. Then I tried deleting it from the DVR. It wouldn't let me. I thought about another way I could delete the recording from the DVR. I then remembered that magnets can be used to delete information from a hard drive. And it just so happens that Cameron's uncle works at a scrap yard where they have a giant magnetic crane. We brought the DVR directly to the scrap yard. Cameron knows how to operate the crane because he has seen his uncle do it hundreds of times. The crane swings around, the DVR flies into the air and attaches to the crane, the crane then releases the DVR. When the DVR hits the ground it is smashed into pieces. Each memory chip is completely fried, and the music stops. It has been years since the incident, but I still remember the commercial and that ominous three tone music that plays with it. To this day I have nightmares about the commercial. So next time you record something, be sure to check your DVR before watching anything