Talk:A Cruel Life/@comment-72.174.68.179-20140609034729/@comment-7706473-20140611110022

Bah, don't listen to other people. If you do, your life will be pretty much horrible. I don't think this is the best, but I can pick a handful out of the new stories that get posted here that I personally - as in I, individually - find worse by a magnitude of 120%. The only way you'll get better is if you write more, not less; and if the words of others mean anything to you, you'll only do that in secret. I wasted several years of my life like that; I cannot reccomend it.

The spelling and grammar was good, so what was there that was actually bad? Well, it was shorter - too brief to leave a long effect. It was pretty much driven by gaming, but the game could have been any game; what would make this unique to LoS, or perhaps a game or series that inspires you? The ending shock was sudden, and let the reader wonder who was narrating, to let alone feeling a bit trite. What is a way you could write it to make the ending more scary, or disturbing..? I bet you have a few ideas, don't you?

Even if they don't turn out how you plan, or you do't like them fully, write them down - just the ideas, maybe not even here. Keep writing them. Keep writing - that's my advice.