Talk:Dead Man/@comment-5675310-20131221025326

Dead Man writes a creepypasta. (IdunnoI'mouttawittycommentsatthemoment)

Description: 5.0/10 - A plain and simple diary that felt like the person was rushing their writing. Things weren't really described to the extent where it would be creepy and it just felt like a rushed attempt of a creepy story. There were multiple grammatical errors in here, but I looked past them and read on. The pacing unfortunately is way off here as well. The main character went from being excited to be in a new town to being completely paralyzed in fear within thirty seconds of reading. I get it when you see something that's naturally scary and you freak out, but this went by so fast that it felt extremely unrealistic.

Plot: 5.0/10 - First of all, this is way too short. You might've been able to create something actually creepy if you just took your time and continued the story, but as it stands it feels like a teaser trailer with a cliff hanger. Also, the idea isn't that new. Maybe if you added a little meat to this "Dead man," it would've been a lot more interesting.

Entertainment: 6.0/10 - It would be a more entertaining story if it were longer and more fleshed out...

Pros and Cons:

+ Has potential

- Too short

- Characters need more developement

- Feels rushed

- Awful pacing

- Doesn't stand out in the crowd of boring pastas

Overall: 5.3/10 - Mediocre.

"Although it has potential, it just ends up being a half baked teaser trailer."

- Marcus