Dear Diary, I'm a Killer

1st entree 12/02/1993

Why do people hate me? Or to go even deeper, us. I mean to be fair, yes I am a killer. I couldn't tell you how many lives I've taken even if I wanted to. You really just lose count after a while you know. But the first one, now that's something you never forget. My first was a door to door salesman, so I invite him in right, he is selling cutlery! Hahaha! can you believe it! I laughed when he opened up his little satchel and started his pitch. So he's going through his whole spiel, "There are no knives like this...." and "Cuts through anything even...." blah blah blah. I interrupt him, politely of course, I am a gentleman after all, and ask "Can I hold that big one? Just to get a Feel for it?" and he says, "Oh but of course!" so he forks over the knife, (bad pun), I grip it firmly, and I have to give this guy credit, the knife felt great, It was heavy, the grip was cozy, and it was sharp, cut my finger a little just touching the edge of the damn thing.

He finally finishes, and asks me if he could have a glass of water, I said yes, but if he would prefer an ice cold beer. The smile he gave me, haha, and he replied with "Even though I know I shouldn't, I will." I chuckled at that. So he is enjoying his beer, we are talking, just small talk stuff, I like the guy, he's nice. But only the good die young. As he is talking, I slowly wrap my hand around the handle of a cast iron skillet, he takes the last drink of beer from the bottle, and in my head I say "If you only knew, that would be the best beer you ever drank." and with that, I struck him across the right side of his face, it was with the edge of the pan, so it split his face right open. Blood sprayed all over my kitchen island. He collapsed, first he hit the island, caught himself for a second, then to the floor he went.

He was still conscious, and the look in his eyes, the confusion, the pain, and most of all fear. I leaned in, and told him, "It's not your fault, you did nothing wrong. It's not you, it's me." he sobbed twice before I brought the pan down on his face. I struck him 20 times, 10 strikes were with the flat bottom of the pan, and the other 10 with the edge, I swapped it with each hit. When I was done, nothing but mush was left. I grabbed a beer from the fridge, and sat at the kitchen table just looking at him, Haha, and the only thing I said was "So it is true, they do shit themselves." and I drank my beer, happy and content.

2nd entree 03/13/1994

Happy New Year!! Late I know, but only by three months. I was just thinking about how meaningless life really is. New Years really seals that in for me. People make bullshit promises, they know they wont keep, get drunk as shit, fuck, fight, and do all the self destructive crap humans always do. I did score another kill on New Years though, It was boring though, I lure this bitch out of the bar right, into the ally, she is so drunk, so goes down, and not in the sexual way, just BANG! Hits the ground, cracks her head on the wall, and she may as well have been Alice, cause she is far, far, far down the rabbit hole. So I just sigh, whip it out, and piss in her mouth, she flipping drowned in my waste. Gross and boring, but gotta take what you can get I guess.

Two weeks later however, I got me a good one. I'm passing through this little town, and I spy with my little eye, a big catholic church. So I stop there thinking might be a good spot to pick up a stray. I go in sit on a pew at the back and watch. An hour or so goes by before I finally make my pick. I choose the Priest, a little obvious I know but so what, I wait for a few hours more, then the Priest approaches me. He looks down at me with kind eyes, and speaks i a low soothing voice, "Are you alright my son?" I force tears to my eyes and reply, "No Father, I'm not. I am a disgusting specimen of humanity. I know I'm damned to Hell, and I deserve it!" I laid it on thick but it was great.

The Priest puts his right hand on my shoulder and tells me we all deserve Hell, but we can all be saved through Christ. All I can think is "What the Hell have you done to deserve Hell." but then again he was a Priest so, he might have dipping into more than just communion wine behind the scenes. Any who, He guides me to the confessional, I take my seat, and he takes his, he opens the little window and starts in with "Tell me your sins my son." so I say "Some time I think I'm a killer Father." he asks me why, so I reply, "Because I'm about to kill you Father." I ram my fist through the mesh screen that separates us, I grab his wight little collar, and pull his head against the confessional wall hard. I repeat this action about 4 times, ones I confirm that the Priest is dazed, I rush up to the podium and grab the big golden cross there, as I'm heading back to the confessional, the Priest is stumbling down the aisle. I run up and slam the base of the cross into his back so hard, It fucking breaks off.

He flies to the ground, moaning, and squirming, the base of the cross is now broken, and jagged. From behind him, I pull the Priest to his knees by the back of his collar, he makes a choking noise. Once he is balanced on his knees, I tilt his head back, open his mouth, and force the broken crucifix down his throat. His eye go wide, he is choking and gagging, as blood floods up from his throat, he grabs at his throat then the cross, I slap his hands away and force my thumbs into his eyes, he screams. Well tries to scream, and then I grab the arms of the cross put my foot on the back of his neck, and I push & pull. SNAP!! His neck breaks and it's over. Going to the chapel and he, got murdered.

3rd entree 10/10/2000

Wow, so whats it been, six years since I last wrote in this thing. Time flies man. Well I'm getting old, killing isn't easy when you're in you 60's. From 94 till now I had a good run, got about 12 more to add to the collection of souls. But its October now, almost 2001, I only got 2 of the 12 this year. So this will be my last entree. Killing is a young mans game, so I'm gonna take one last life, my own. So to whom ever finds my corpse, enjoy the read. And just know if I was alive and younger, I would murder your ass, hahaha, or at least try. Well goodbye skid-marks, this killer is leaving the building, right out the fucking window.