Talk:The Berries/@comment-4332975-20150712092951

Looks better, though I think it could still be fleshed out more. It reads like an incredibly generic fairy tale now, and the ending is still a bit of an anticlimax. Needs just a little something more to give it the extra bit of flair that will make it memorable. Still, marked improvement from the earlier draft, even if the two versions of the story show little to no resemblence to one-another.