Talk:The Leader/@comment-6794436-20150214164217

This is quite unique... but a bit predictable...

Good: This pasta was a quite refreshing take on a war story, and time travel stories too, even though the latter is still seldom done. This was written quite well also, and there weren't that many grammar errors that I could see. At some parts, this pasta was a bit unnerving and creepy, and at others, they were just cool, such as the ninth entry I believe where they try all of the different rituals. After the first two entries, this pasta really didn't get boring at all. Also, the pacing was nice as the mystery built up about the deaths, and even though I knew what would happen, the buildup and mystery was still intriguing enough to make me keep on reading.

Bad: My main problem with this story is the predictability of the ending. After the part at the end where the narrator mentioned how they were going into a bunker, at war time, where they supposedly killed themselves, I had a hunch that this had to do with Hitler, and throughout the story there was really nothing to contradict my claim, so I just stuck with the thought that this was Hitler writing in his bunker. As the mysterious deaths led on, and they found strange objects, it was fairly obvious that this was going to also be about time travel. Besides the predictability, this pasta also has a few plotholes. At the beginning, why didn't Hitler order all of the soldiers to just not fall asleep and to stay close together, as I'm sure if he did that in the first place, somebody would've been bound to find the time traveler. Also, at the ending, where the time traveler had nearly killed everyone and there were no signs of stopping, why didn't they just get out of the bunker. I understand there's a risk out there, but they were guarranteed to die inside of the bunker, with no way of stopping it. But, had they gone out of the bunker, they would've had a chance at survival.

Verdict: 6/10- This was original and written quite well, but the mindfuck was predictable, and there were a couple of plot holes that could've changed the story quite a bit had they been resolved.

-Incorrect3