Talk:Why did i touch it./@comment-25425910-20140926042435/@comment-24747574-20140926074231

Well, it being your first pasta doesn't mean it has to be riddled with grammar errors. Some of them are simply mistakes that you made because you wrote it in one go without re-reading properly.

If you want people to appreciate your story, then you have do so yourself first. Take your time, arrange the events, give it a proper structure.

Apart from that, what's the creepy part of it? If you want to go for message-from-the-game kind of story, you have to give it a longer and properly executed build-up which then surprises the player. It has to be more subtle, creeping up on you and the reader instead of just being there.

The stories that get good reviews here often take days or even weeks to complete.

Summa Summarum - work on your grammar, more complex built-up and use less "then" and "so" - they are a cheap way to start sentences, thus degrading the overall quality.