Talk:Eric/@comment-68.109.132.125-20150617032448/@comment-68.109.132.125-20150617033813

My extended thoughts.

This pasta is very boring. After the first few sections of it, it gets repetitive, and is MUCH longer than it needs to be. You might say it was to get to know the characters more, but it doesn't work. I even skipped a few paragraphs to see how it ended, and I think I'd rather have had to make up my own ending, because this one is not worth the buildup. If people ACTUALLY tear up because of this, they must be VERY sensitive. The reason I think this ending is so bad is because the story does not make you develop any sympathy for Eric OR the main character. If you had done so, it would've been much, much better.

If you want to improve this story, I suggest making it much shorter, or at least summing it up better. You should also add in some things that would actually make you develop sympathy for the characters, and not just have a huge wall of text with only about a tenth of it being important. Also, the ending should not come so abruptly. There should be more events leading to his death, not just you not wanting to be friends with him.

And that's why I give this story a 3/10. It's not the worst, but it's not very good.