Talk:Somniare Mors/@comment-6794436-20150903011939

What the fuck just happened? D-did you just molest me... I didn't appreciate it...

Good: This was written quite exceptionally, actually, with lots of descriptive words that really show the strength of both of your vocabularies. That being said, the descriptions a lot of times really didn't feel like they made sense, and they didn't fit along with the rest of the story's feel. Whatever, I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyways, the story itself flows rather nicely, and the plot, from what I could gather given my own unique interpretation, was pretty good. Either way, it was at least unique.

Bad: The grammar in this pasta felt off at times, and I noticed an abundance of misplaced commas that would ruin the flow of the story on occassion when reading. There were also numerous random tense changes from past to present which really didn't make much sense given the context of the story. I honestly had no idea what to make of this. So much of this story was ambiguous to the point where by the end, there were so many loose ends that it somewhat angered me. I understand the mindset of wanting to let the readers make what they wish out of a story, but I don't think it worked in this pasta. Some stories work off of the ambiguity that lets their readers meld together their own story, but for this one, it just made the pasta a lot more complicated than it needed to be. A lot of things needed explaining, and although there was definitely some creepy atmosphere in this pasta, the story itself really wasn't that creepy. That lack of creepiness was also amplified by the lack of explanation for the majority of the major topics dealt with in this pasta. Also, as I stated before, the physical descriptions themselves are great and descriptive, but a lot of the wordings used in those descriptions really felt out of place compared to the rest of the story.

Verdict: 5.5/10- Although this was written exceptionally well, the story itself left too many questions at the end, and I don't think it correctly pulled off a loose ending that the readers get to make up. The atmosphere itself did feel a bit surreal and creepy, but the pasta itself didn't deliver said creepiness. This pasta wasn't awful by any stretch, but there definitely are a lot of things that could've been done to improve this piece. You don't have to get rid of that ambiguity that is present in the ending, but there still needs to be more things explained.

-Incorrect3