Talk:Symphony of Life/@comment-25021327-20141201232553

This was an interesting little concept, If you could be guaranteed to know whether or not the immediate future would be pleasant or not, could you go back to not knowing?

I can relate to the music aspect on certain levels, I play a little bit of drums, and typically within a few minutes of sitting down and playing, I can tell if I'm going to be on point, or sloppy. So that was kind of a fun little thing for me reading this as well.

As I mentioned, I like the concept, and the story flows fairly well. Some choices of wording seemed odd to me, and things like  "The day went by without any sort of bad occurrence, but nothing bad either" could use another readthrough. But I didn;t find anything really distracting while reading.

The opening paragraph felt kind of unfocussed, sort of like a stream of consciousness. That works sometimes, but when I started reading, I was having trouble identifying with what the narrator was trying to get across. I was pleased to see the story find its direction shortly thereafter, and retain focus throughout.

I suppose most of the things I didn't like were nitpicks. The way that the narrator goes from perfetly content with life, to 'suicidal' in the span of a few weeks felt abrupt, but for the length of the story, I realize that you have to keep things moving.

Another nitpick for me was how the church met its end. We're in December 5 in the 'fifth season,' and the story takes place over 3 weeks. Regardless of the fact that we're around Christmas toward the end of the story, we're set up to be in this cold, barren climate. Then there is a massive thunderstorm, not by any means unheard of, but a little out of place for the end of December in New Jersey. And lightning striking the tall grass around the church as opposed to its large copper steeple seemed odd.

As I say, these are probably just nitpicks, and they don't hurt the story too much. Though it at times seemed a little rushed, this pasta was pretty good for what it was. I enjoyed the concept, and I'm glad that I read it.