Talk:The Wife/@comment-8470110-20131117185330

3.5/10

For a first Creepypasta, it was alright. There was good detail, the pacing was fine and the concept was original as far as I know. However, there are things that can be changed. For example, there are multiple grammar mistakes such as 'me and Andrew' and 'your' when it's supposed to be 'you're' so I'd fix those as soon as you can. This story doesn't put the 'creepy' into 'Creepypasta' but that's forgivable. What isn't forgivable is the lack of build up to the end and the 'scary' parts. The pictures were a bit unsettling, but there wasn't an atmosphere to coincide with them, making it ineffective at scaring the reader. Keep that in mind for your future pastas.

For your next pastas, I'd recommend you have proper grammar, more buildup, some more detail and a more creepy atmosphere. I'm anxious to read your future pastas and if you ever need help, feel free to send me a message on my Message Wall.

-Sshakenbakee (Cameron S.)