Talk:Dream Journal/@comment-25021327-20140805233615

I honestly didn't know what I was getting into when I started reading this. Despite some problems it may have, I actually ended up liking the story. The pacing is fairly constistent, jumping around very little once the real story begins. The spelling, and grammar seemed okay if I remember correctly. The format could use a little work, Those weird scroll-bar text boxes are annoying (I don't know where they come from, but they tend to pop up accidentally in stories)

Another thing with the format that I might suggest, would be that the Journal style is stuck to more faithfully. There are some funny little inexplicable dreams (aren't most of them? ;) in the opening, then it switches to a straight narrative, spanning several days. Maybe the main story, DREAM 4, could be broken up into a series of journal entries, mixed with additional dreams? just a thought.

As far as the story, it wasn't anything super groundbreaking. I think it's pretty easy to tell where the story is going, and what the events are leading up to. That being said, It kept me reading. I liked the style, and how the narrator seemed to become notably more hostile as the pasta continued. I also liked the increase in refering to people as "it."

I think the ending is a little abrupt, and I personally would like to know a bit more about what happened between the bum strangling, and the suicide. That's just me though, and it does pretty much wrap the previous events up.

I'm rambling now. When I started this, I thought I was just going to get a typical, uninspired pasta, but I feel I was wrong, and for that I was pleasantly surprised :)