Loss

November 24, 2014
Text Log November 24, 2014

"Hey Morgan"

"Hey"

"How's your day been?"

"Great, break started today. You?"

"It's been pretty bad. I got in another fight today, and I might get expelled."

"Marshall, why do you do this to yourself?"

"He was saying stuff about you, and I wasn't gonna tolerate it. Okay?"

"Marshall, you're overprotective of me. Let it go."

"I guess so. So what's up?"

"Not much, I'm listening to Flyleaf. You?"

"I'm listening to Modest Mouse. I love Flyleaf though."

"Marshall, I need to tell you something."

"You can tell me anything. I'll keep my silence."

"Well recently I've been having thoughts about ending my life."

"Morgan, please don't do this to me or yourself."

"I won't, but I haven't been hungry for 3 days."

"Morgan, please eat."

"I doubt not eating for a few days will hurt me."

"Morgan, that's exactly what I said."

"Marshall, you haven't mentioned this before. Are you okay?

"No, I'm bleeding right now."

"What happened?"

"I impaled myself on the scrap metal under the bridge when I jumped."

Morgan called 911 and I heard those sirens loud and clear.

Morgan was the only one in the hospital with me.

She walked me to her house, and had me meet her family. She had a mother, a father. I wish I could have that. I asked her Dad if I could spend the night not wanting to return to the orphanage, regardless of the consequences. I slept on the couch, and I had gotten the first good sleep in years.

November 25, 2014
I wake up warm, for the first time in god knows how long. I'm awoken by a knock on the door, but that's better than the pistol the orphanage keeper uses to wake us up. Morgan's mother opens the door, and it's the orphanage keeper. She's holding papers. Am I going to have a family? I fall back asleep, and wait for an answer when I wake up. Morgan wakes me up at 2, and she tells me that I got adopted by her family. I can't believe it, I'm gonna have a family.

November 26, 2014
Now I feel guilty. I feel like I'm a waste of their family's money and space. They aren't poor at all, but they could still put their money elsewhere. They take me out clothes shopping, and I'm amazed by it. The fact that I don't have to get jeans with holes in them is amazing. The orphanage keeper just got drunk with all the money she got. So there was 20 outfits she bought 17 years ago among us 20 boys. So lots of handmedowns. I didn't have an issue with it, but then again, last time I had anything like that was when I was 7, and that's when my mom and dad were alive.

November 27, 2014
It's Thanksgiving and we're going to Morgan's grandma's house to celebrate. When we get there, nobody knows who I am, and I don't know who anyone is. I warm up fast enough though. There's a lot of food. More than I've ever seen. I get to the back of the line next to Morgan, and we get food. I get some before her, and I get only a tiny bit of food compared to everyone else. I'm the odd one out, and when asked why I got so little, I say it's to make sure the others will have food. Morgan and I had a short conversation afterwards.

"Marshall, you can eat more."

I let out a squirm of discomfort

"Marshall, come over here."

I walk towards her slowly as she spreads her arms out. I flinch naturally, and now she's really concerned. She wraps her arms around me as I cry on her shoulder. There's a reason I can't have a family.

November 28, 2014
We keep last night between the two of us. But today she walked into my corner of the basement and asked about the cuts on my wrists. I got scared, and was about to make a break for it. But she got next to me first, and I couldn't lie to Morgan. I tell her about my cutting, and she's really worried about me. She just lays next to me for the next hour, hugging me. But the longer she hugs me, the more I worry about her family. Because there's a reason I can't have a family.

November 29, 2014
We go into her mom's car and drive down to a movie theater and see The Book Of Life. As we drive back, I see a truck driving towards our side at an intersection. As I see this, I instantly scream truck and move to protect Morgan. Her and I survive, but her parents are dead. Just what happened to my family.