Arnold Schwarzenegger's Amazing Hooker Adventure ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (AKA Flaky and Tyrin's EXCELLENT Adventure) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

'Twas the night before Christmas one cold august, Flaky was a scientist in a secret military facility doing scientific stuff with his science buds: 



“I am writing on this clipboard” said Flaky as he adjusted his scientific glasses.



They were working on trying to turn cute little bunnies into cyborg bloodthirsty zombies with the power of magic, but so far they could not make one single successful sample. And it was because Flaky was not a real scientist he was an undercover ninja, and his objective was to boycott the project, and so far he was successful.



But not only that, Flaky was not only your ordinary ninja disguised as a scientist trying to boycott a military experiment, but during night, he was a famous underground rock-star that makes out with almost every single of his fans.



So after a nice day at the scientific facility of military scientific science, he went to the usual underground club where him and his band used to play almost every night.

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“HAIAAAAAAAA” sung Flaky with the voice of 24 angels high on a hybrid between meth and a werewolf's pubic hair.

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“HAIOOOOOOOO” he sung again as he played the guitar which sounded like an Asian guy cutting his arm with a spoon while eating a burrito.

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Everyone cheered after the song was over, Flaky gave them all the finger because he was edgy and had just stepped on a shard of glass, then made his way to the back entrance to get drugged off his ass near a trashcan to then be found next morning by a bunch of hobos that will try to steal his wallet and his shoes, because that’s what rock stars do everyday.

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">But while he was on his way there, a sylveon got in his way, the sylveon was all like ^///^ and said:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“Hi im your biggest fan!” ^///^ the sylveon's tail wiggled as he spoke.

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Flaky blinked, he was surprised to see someone so...cute, his cheeks blushed, he found it hard to look at the sylveon directly so he just looked away as he spoke:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“Eh...that's nice...now if you excuse me...” he tried once again to make his way to the back door, but the sylveon was already in front of it, looking up at flaky all ^///^ with the same wiggling tail:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“My name is Tyrin, nice to meet you~”

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Flaky rubbed the back of the neck nervously as he spoke:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“Eh...nice meeting you...but I really have to go-...” Flaky was interrupted by Tyrin's cute stare:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">┗( <span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">＠ロ＠ <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">;)┛ desu~  <-- cute stare

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">They both stared at each other whimsically for a while, it was a magic moment that not even Harry Potter would top, it went like this:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">( <span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">・ <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">∀ <span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">・ <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;"> )  * stare *

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">( ÒωÓ) * stare *

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">( <span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">ﾟ <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Å <span lang="ZH-CN" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">ﾟ <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">) * stare *

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“Lets have sex...” said Tyrin right away, Flaky blushed like a tomato and his brain exploded...not really but it would have been cool to see someone's head explode, I remember one time uncle joe was drunk and he grabbed a *concentrate on the story* ah yeah okay, so Flaky was all like:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“I cant, I must save the world within 5 minutes, I’m the only one who knows how to and to make matters worse I’m tied to this wheelchair!”

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“I DONT GIVE A SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!” said Tyrin with the voice of the tourettes guy ^//-//^

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Flaky was like “K” and took Tyrin to a nearby dumpster where Billy “Blow” Job the friendly hobo lived in.

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">They both got on it and began to make out, Tyrin was lying down on top of the dumpster staring into Flaky's eyes:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">=//////= “ I love you...”

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">Flaky's lips touched his, their bodies pressed against each other, moaning, panting, and sweating (HEY NOW!!!)

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">inside Billy was lying between piles of trash trying to sleep, but he could not take the noise he sat up and yelled:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“HEY IM TRYING TO SLEEP HERE, 'TILL I DIE FROM THE THROAT CANCER” * cough cough *

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">But they both did not give a fuck, they kept making out, Flaky took his trousers slowly (if he has any that is) showing his thick, big, sweaty and amazing Shaquille O'Neal <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">underwear, he took those off of course, and then he shoved his sausage into Tyrin's bum:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">“Want mustard with that?” said Flaky as he fried some more sausages on the grill. <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“No but I would like some milk with it” * wink wink *

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“What? You don't put milk on hotdog you silly”

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“You sure?” * wink wink*

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“Wha-? Well...yeah, also, I think you have something in your eye”

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“JUST FUCK ME ALREADY”

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“Is that a retorical question?”

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“IT WAS NOT EVEN A QUESTION!”

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“Exactly” * wink wink *

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">And so they had soft sensual unadulterated sex on a dumpster while a hobo tried to make them stop.

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan, Batman, Gandalf, Mister Rogers, Bill and Ted, Deadpool, Finn and Jake, Robocop, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris Hansen, Tom Cruise, all of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Godzilla all watched.

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">(Hey this is MY trollpasta and I add as many cameos as I want) <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">And there they go! Flaky starts with an old Assthrust! But HOLD ONTO YOUR BUTTS, <span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">  <span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Tyrin is fighting back with a twister! What will flaky do now? He tries a good old inside out! AND THERE HE GOES, oh boy this ain’t over, no sir, Flaky does a Power Ranger thrust, HEY HEY HEY, THATS ILLEGAL, Tyrin tries a somersault with...A PERFECT LANDING...and they both came....marvelous.

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">They both lied on the dumpster next to each other all happy and shit, but suddendly, IT TURNS OUT <span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">  <span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">TYRIN <span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">  <span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">WAS A NINJA FROM A RIVAL NINJA CLAN.

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“I TRUSTED YOU, or more like I THRUSTED YOU!!” said Flaky with a broken heart

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">* Public laughs *

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">The camera moves the background of Saturday Night Live, Meds is there wearing a suit:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“HAHA, what a pair those 2”

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">* Public laughs *

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Meds puts his hands in his pockets and smiles to the camera:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“But we ain't done, no sir, we have more incoming” points at the camera “we will right back after these messages”

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">(After 1 hour of messages, and 2 extra hours of pussy pirates we go back to our regular program)

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Flaky and Tyrin were on top of a building, it was raining and there was a storm going on, they were both glaring at each other with hatred in their eyes, both were wearing their ninja outfits.

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Suddenly Flaky and Tyrin from the dimension of the boats and hoes, came through an inter-dimensional portal that randomly appeared from the sky, in a Convertible Viper:

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">“DONT WORRY GRANDMOMMA' WE GOIN' TO HELL!!!” yelled Flaky

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Car exploded and everyone died

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Arial;mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">  <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<p class="Textbody"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family:Mangal">

<span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Remember sully when i promised i kill you last?...I LIED - <span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">  <span style="font-family:Arial,sans-serif;">Arnold Schwarzenegger

<p class="Textbody">