Talk:The Laughing Spirit/@comment-25021327-20150205234043

This was frankly, a chore to read. The grammar, case, tense, and wording are so all over the place that they distracted me heavily from the actual story. I hate to bring that up first thing, but it was, for me, what made the biggest impact.

As far as the story goes, I felt like there wasn't much here. Some of the descriptions are nicely done, but I wished what was being described gripped me more. The setup of a mysterious, entity with multiple encounters with townspeople is kind of hard to pull off, and I feel that it's expecially difficult in short form fiction.

I really dig stories about abandoned places, so I would have liked more description of the actual encounters, but that's more of a personal thing. As this stands, it feels more like just a description of the being, and then a few similar instances of people who may or may not have encountered it. I felt a bit like I was being told what to be creeped out by rather than just reading and figuring out for myself.

I would like to have more good to say about this story since I can tell that a degree of effort seems to have gone into it. Personally, it didn't do much for me. Again, the typographical errors here are really what hurt this for me, with some further proofreading, I may have liked this a bit more. Sorry if this critique comes across as harsh or discouraging, that's not my intention.